People Get Prickly Telling These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

“My husband (M40s) and I (M40s) are hosting my sister (F40s) as well as her husband/my BIL and their two kids A (toddler) and B (M12). Since they don’t have a lot of time alone and also can’t afford to take many vacations, my husband and I put them up in a hotel for two days/one night while they’re here so that they can have some alone time without the kids. My husband and I don’t have any kids, but we’re perfectly capable of taking care of the kids for a couple of days solo.

The toddler was pretty easy.

Maybe she’s not a toddler yet and she’s still an infant; I’m not sure of the specific distinction, but she consumed baby food, drank from bottles, and had some puffed cereal that my sister provided. The problem came with feeding my nephew B. For dinner, we made a tossed salad together. Everyone helped out with chopping vegetables; it was great. Then, we made pizza bagels for the main course. We had a great, low-key dinner with our salad and pizza bagel bites, and we “camped out” in the TV room watching a movie until B fell asleep. I thought it was a great evening.

Well, my sister and BIL came back home from the hotel, and we were chatting in the kitchen when she noticed the pizza bagel box sitting in the recycling.

She said, “You eat pizza bagels?” and I said, “Well, not usually, but we made them last night with B.”

Well, she flipped out on me for feeding B such a “garbage snack.” That’s when I said, “Whoa, we made a nice chopped salad to accompany it,” and then she flipped out even more because this was not merely a snack but our dinner. I told her that people eat pizza and salad for dinner all the time. What’s wrong with that? It was fun and easy. She told me that now I was going to have B obsessed with junk food and that, “If I had known this was going to happen, I never would have trusted you with taking care of them; you’re not a parent, and it shows,” which honestly just felt like a low blow.

My BIL apologized to me in private, but my sister is still acting cold.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ.

I saw she had (has?) an eating disorder. Her reaction makes me think that she might need some maintenance therapy. It’s okay to control what you eat. It’s not okay to monitor what your kid eats. It’s not okay to tell your spouse they can’t put dressing on their salad or eat their popcorn before the movie starts. She’s on the path of passing down the eating disorder to the kids.” Ok-Light-8489

Another User Comments:
“You MADE the pizza bagels; you didn’t order them in. They were presumably made from at least some food ingredients and a salad with them! This sounds like a delicious dinner that I would have loved as a kid.

A cafe that used to be in my town made vegetarian pizza bagels with tomato paste, beans, and cheese on them. I want one now. I’m going to MAKE SOME for my lunch! NTJ honestly,” Thatstealthygal

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You’re hosting these people, and she’s berating you for feeding pizza bagels to the child you’re babysitting during a fun movie night? That really takes a lot of nerve. I hope they enjoyed their night out; I’m guessing you’re not going to be giving them another night out after that treatment.” TemptingPenguin369

“So last week, we were assigned a group project for my history class. My friends and I (I will call them Sonya and Gianna) immediately decided to work with each other. However, someone in need of a group, I will call her Abigail, asked if she could join. We said yes. We began to work on the project which had multiple parts: two essays, a slideshow, a worksheet, and a quiz. We all started working on separate parts, and I heard Gianna suggest to Abigail that Abigail could do one of the essays. We all shared the same documents, so anything added we should all be able to see; and at this point, everyone had opened the document, so we knew everyone was aware it existed.

On the second day, I realized that while we had all done stuff, Abigail had done absolutely nothing.

I didn’t bring it up, though, because I could hear her typing; I just couldn’t see it on the document. I assumed she was writing it in a different document for some reason and would transfer it later. I even scooted back a little bit and saw paragraphs of writing. At the end of the class period, I brought it up to Gianna, who then told Abigail that I could do three paragraphs and Abigail could do three paragraphs for it.

On the third day, two days before the project was due, I started to get anxious because absolutely nothing had been added by Abigail for the essay. I realized that if she didn’t add anything by tonight, I would have to do it all myself.

I even sent her an email asking if she had written any paragraphs and if I could see them. Later that day, I spent hours writing the whole essay by myself.

On the day before it was due, she left a comment at 11 AM saying that she would have done it, but she saw that I had already written it all and that if there was anything she could do to help, I should just ask. At this point, the entire project had been finished in its entirety. I was mad. I thought, and still think, that she was messing around; she had nothing written at all for the days we had to do this because she knew that someone would eventually do it for her.

The presentation is now tomorrow.

My plan of “revenge” is to add a credit page that lists what we did and for her name, I’ll put nothing. I also left a comment back to her comment saying, “That’s okay, you can make up for it by giving the presentation :).” Before anyone says I should tell the teacher, I can’t because, knowing him, he won’t do anything about it and she’s a part of a team he coaches. Is it too rude to make her give the presentation and have her be shocked when she sees the credit page that says she did nothing? I asked my friends and some think I should do it, and others think it’s just too petty. What should I do?”

Another User Comments:
“So you all need a lesson in project management. You have a group of four people. You need to actually agree on who is doing what beforehand. Overhearing Gianna tell Abigail something doesn’t count as planning, and there’s no indication that Abigail actually agreed. Is she taking advantage of you? Maybe. But you still suck at planning and communication. ESH” _mmiggs_

Another User Comments:
“NTJ But don’t do it. Revenge is almost never worth getting; it always costs more than it is worth. Instead, make a particular point to thank Abigail for all her invaluable efforts on the project. Do it publicly. Go overboard to the point where people raise an eyebrow.

Be sincere and smiling the whole time. Project an air of complete innocence as you heap praise on her and how invaluable she was to the project. Offer nothing but compliments so there is nothing that can come back on you. Talk no crap, make no negative comments. Nothing but thanks and praise for her efforts. And then never work with her ever again. Move on with your life. Let’s see who volunteers to work with her next time.” OaktownPirate

Another User Comments:
“ESH Group work isn’t just about the quality of the work; it’s about how effectively you can work together as a group. Part of that is managing and dealing with people who won’t pull their weight.

This isn’t isolated to school; it happens all the time in the workplace. Crediting her with zero work, especially if she’s the one giving the presentation, just makes you look petty. It might seem unfair that she put in so little effort, but hopefully her poor work ethic reflects in her marks in any individual projects or exams. Group work is not usually weighted highly in your overall grade. Just don’t let her join you for any future group work.” SeaLaw7918

“I (34M) married my wife (32F) this past October. We have been having wedding gift checks trickle in for a couple of months. Our marital finances are structured so that we both contribute monthly to a joint account, on which we then have conversations about what it should be spent on (honeymoon, date night, etc.), but we maintain separate bank accounts as well. We have agreed that all the money we got from our wedding would go to the joint account. Today, I was taking out the recycling and noticed a handwritten card addressed to us both. I read it and then noticed the gift check that she had signed and presumably deposited.

I found it strange that she had not mentioned either the card or the check to me. I have been dealing with the joint account a lot lately due to a new job and trying to set up automatic payments, but I double-checked that the check was not deposited into the joint account.

I sent her a text, “I see a check in the recycling, looks like you signed and deposited it, but I don’t see it in the joint account?” She explained that she couldn’t access the joint account because of her name change, but that she would be calling Chase tomorrow. She stated that she deposited it into her personal account in the meantime until she could get that issue resolved.

Unfortunately, she is away at a baby shower until tonight. I sent her the text because I felt uneasy about it and was hoping there was a simple explanation that could help me feel better without waiting until she came home tonight and worrying all day. Normally, I would have preferred to talk in person, but it is what it is here.

She got pretty defensive shortly after her explanation: “How can you have the audacity to accuse me of that after everything I’ve done with the wedding, etc? I wish you could have thought about how this would affect me.” She is understandably upset at the accusation. I am very upset to have had to make it, but I did not see another path.

It is true that she put way more effort into the wedding, which I have repeatedly thanked her for and truly appreciated.

Generally, we have a very good relationship. We have had some trust issues in the past that we have worked through with therapy (overly friendly texting on her part, and accusations of infidelity on my part a very long time ago), and I believe we truly love each other. She is now really mad at me, and it is making me feel bad and also making me feel like her defensiveness indicates guilt. AITJ for questioning her and bringing it up in this way?”

Another User Comments:
“It seems odd that if you received a joint gift card & check she didn’t show you the card before depositing the check.

Often if someone has done something wrong, they’ll immediately go on the offensive with the person asking the question to make you feel bad and back off. Don’t back off, but ask her in person why she didn’t mention the gift. Also, you definitely should have waited for her to be home instead of texting her while she was out. Other than that, you’re NTJ.” HorseygirlWH

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here yet we don’t know yet what is going on. She may be defensive out of guilt, or annoyance thinking you will never trust her because of past issues, or she may be mad at herself for forgetting to mention it.

People are very complicated and confusing. I know you didn’t ask, but please do not discard checks without shredding them. Back when checks were more common, criminals would “wash” them with chemicals to take off the ink and then rewrite them. Why risk it when shredding prevents the possibility?” latents

Another User Comments:
“YTJ for the reasons you asked and for all the red flags you are waving. She may or may not be TA for her handling of the check, but the relationship issues you disclosed have all consisted of you accusing her of bad behavior. If your accusations are not baseless, then why did you even go through with the wedding? Otherwise, get some help.

Happened to see the card and check in the recycling? Yeah, uh-huh. You mean, you go through the trash and recycling to check up on her, the same way you go through her phone to read her texts. The fact that you couldn’t even wait until she got home to have a conversation speaks volumes about your control issues (and lack of self-control). Get help if you want this marriage to work. Fix you before you try to fix this relationship. Maybe then she won’t have to hide money for the inevitable day she has to run for it.” alc2757

“My (36f) Brother Matt (37 m) has been engaged to Sophie (34 f) for 10 years. Yes, 10 years. For the first part of their relationship, Sophie worked for my parents, and she had a mental breakdown leading her to abruptly quit. My Mother (62 f) and Sophie had an amazing friendship, but that has kind of devolved. Sophie helped my family with a lot of things. Sure, she benefited as well, but she has taken a lot of mistreatment from my family.

The problem is that Matt is lazy. He likes gaming and comfort, and he does something with gaming to bring in some money, but I don’t really care to know what; it’s his life.

Sophie, however, takes care of everything. She handles the finances, and does 99% of the cooking and cleaning, and she also tries to do things that generate some income. My mother gives my brother money to survive and does the same for me, so I don’t hold that against her. We can afford that. The problem (sorry if it’s taken this long) is how my family talks about Sophie. We’ve all accepted that my brother is lazy and will probably need help until the day he dies. But I think my family has started to bleed some of that onto Sophie, and as someone who divorced from a similar situation, I can confidently say that Sophie is not lazy. I know she’s up early and down late. She brings my brother food, cups of coffee, water, and anything else. She does her own side thing where she makes a bit of money, but she gets like three projects a year that pay really well. So, during the time she isn’t getting paid, she relies on my brother’s income. Sophie also has an autoimmune condition which means that she doesn’t have the best health. Lately, Matt and my mother have been asking why Sophie doesn’t go and get a proper job. She did, but Matt kind of sabotaged that by not helping her. So, she slept even less, got very stressed, and, as expected, lost that job.

My ex used to expect me to contribute financially while also taking care of all of the housework – it was abusive.

So, when my mother said that she was tired of “taking care of Matt and Sophie if Sophie isn’t going to do anything to help take care of the bills,” I snapped and called her abusive. She knows what I went through with my ex, and she was the one who told me to leave that mistreatment, and yet here she is – doing the same thing to someone who has done nothing but help our family. Sophie doesn’t have time to go and get a job; she barely has time to improve herself to qualify for jobs today.

I yelled at her in front of other people, and I did apologize for that, but what was being said by everyone in the family about Sophie really hit me hard.

So much anger spilled out of me. It got back to Matt that I said he and my mother were abusive/condoning mistreatment, and they think I’m in the wrong. Am I?”

Another User Comments:
“Sophie deserves better than your brother. You are NTJ for defending her from that shiftless man and his enabling mother.” ArtemisStrange

“I (F30) rent an apartment with my sister, Millie (F25). Millie is in a long-term relationship. Her partner lives abroad, and while she visits him often (usually once every 1–2 months for at least a week), obviously they don’t spend time together as much time as they would want to. They plan to move in together, but it will take another 1–2 years to take care of all formalities.

Thus, Millie and her partner call each other on video chat and talk for a few hours per day, which itself is problematic. We have separate rooms but also very thin walls, so I hear her talking non-stop.

But I get it; she misses her partner, so I don’t comment on it and do my best not to overhear too much.

But Millie keeps using her Very Special Kind Of Voice when she’s talking with her partner. You know, the very sweet, cutesy voice, where you misarticulate some words on purpose. She also uses a lot of nicknames like “cootie-papootie” or “honeybear” (well, their equivalents in my language, but you catch my drift). I don’t know if she does it ironically or not, and I don’t really mind, as it’s not my business – but from what I gather, she does not use it ironically and really thinks that it’s cute.

But it drives me crazy.

Whenever I hear this very specific kind of voice, it’s like nails on a blackboard for me. And she uses it for a few hours per day, every single day. I tried to ignore it, just like I ignore hours-long phone calls, but I can’t – this kind of voice literally makes me very upset and physically unwell.

So, I asked her if she might please tone it down, or at least not use it all the time. I didn’t demand it and tried to be pleasant – I tried to explain that it annoys me and I cannot concentrate on work (I work from home) or do anything else when I keep hearing it.

I can use headphones, but I don’t want to use them non-stop for a few hours every day.

And as we both earn low wages, it’s impossible to soundproof the apartment.

She says that I’m a jealous jerk and I’ve no right to comment on the way she’s speaking, which, most of the time, I’d agree with her. But then again – she talks like this every day for hours. Also, I’m not jealous of her relationship – I have my own partner with whom I’m pretty happy. So, I was pretty sure that I was in the right.

But when I talked about it with our mum, she said that I should leave Millie alone, as “she’s not as sociable as I am and we should be happy that she has someone to talk to”.

Well, it is a fact that Millie is very socially anxious and for a long time she hadn’t had any friends or partners except me and my family – so maybe my mother is right and I should ignore this inconvenience for her mental health’s sake?

AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“No jerks here. There are no good solutions in this situation. Your sister shouldn’t have to change for your sake, and it’s not fair to ask her to. However, you also shouldn’t have to be exposed to something that makes you sick. (And no, reacting badly to some specific noises doesn’t make you a jerk, nor does it require you to attend therapy.) Ideally, you should start living separately because it seems to me that you’re not compatible.

If not possible, maybe you can, for example, go for a walk or do groceries during her video calls?” Enuya95

Another User Comments:
“Honestly, sound machines or white noise machines are a fabulous thing. You would be surprised how much they can block out. I have one that I got as a special on Amazon for a little over $21. It has a whole bunch of different sounds and different volume levels as well. It has ocean waves, a fan noise, thunderstorms, rain, and a bunch of different white noise settings. I have it on all the time, and you don’t have to wear headphones. Having thin walls stinks, and listening to cutesy talk would be grating after a while, so having a sound machine drowns your sister out and allows her to keep doing what she does without annoying you.” Icy_Cardiologist8444

Another User Comments:
“YTJ….

Although I fully concur with your sentiments, if I had to listen to that nonsense blathering for more than two minutes, my ears would snap off and go flying across the room. It just sounds like you two are not good roommates. Can you change that situation? I personally wouldn’t want to room with any roommate whom I had to spend hours (yes, OP said HOURS) listening to on the phone with anyone every day. Uuggh.” LawyerDad1981

“My Aunt has been planning a trip to Legoland with her two young kids, Anna and Aaron, which my mom, my step-dad, and I just so happen to live within driving distance too. Her trip is for a week and has been in the works since September of 2023, but I’ve only found out about it this month (Feb ’24). They’re going to be staying with us for four days out of the week they’ll be here, but they’ll be using my room to stay and sleep in.

I did not know about this until recently.

My room is and always has been my private, quiet space. I don’t have anything in here that’s inappropriate or nefarious, but I’m very particular about my room and who touches the things within it. It’s my sensory escape, where I can close my door and spend some time in my makeshift blanket tent on my bed if I need some quiet time. My stepdad is the one to tell me about my Aunt and her kids coming over, as my mom has a tendency to forget to let me know about these things. I asked her about it, and she told me that her plan from the beginning was to have them stay in my room and make me sleep on the pull-out couch in the living room.

Her reasoning is that the two children can’t be trusted not to sneak into the pool in the middle of the night and drown.

I can understand the desire to have them in a closed room, but the same problem arises as my room is directly next to the door to the pool. My Aunt is also planning to stay in the park resort for three days out of the seven, which baffles me. I understand that it’s expensive, but if she is already planning to stay in the park resort, why would she not save up for the whole week? It’s not a last-minute trip; it’s been in the works for five months now.

I also do not know Aunt, Anna, or Aaron at all, so I don’t know how they’ll treat the things in my room. I don’t feel comfortable giving up my room for what, to me, is the equivalent of strangers. AITJ that I don’t want to give them my room?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Here is another suggestion: Auntie and her children stay in the master bedroom, and mum and step-dad go on the roll-out couch in the living room! If they don’t eat that one, then you have to pack up all your treasures so that they can go in the attic or somewhere else that is safe while Auntie and the kids use your room.

You will pull yourself very much together and make it for four nights on the pull-out couch. You will be owed many, many brownie points from everyone after such a major favor. Or maybe not. This is the sort of thing you do for family when you are living in the family house.” FragrantEconomist386

Another User Comments:
“NTJ with stipulation! I am also autistic and I know firsthand how having someone invade your sanctuary feels. It’s the place we feel safest, where we can unmask and just exist without any pressure or anxiety from other people. I think it was incredibly unfair for you not to be told until February. I feel that if you had been told earlier, you could have had time to prepare for it.

Unfortunately, though, you are living at your parents’ house, and it is awful—believe me, I get it—but it is their rules. I would be upset too, and you are NTJ for that, but I don’t think there’s really anything you can do, so I would take your most beloved items (and your bed tent!) into the living room and make sure anything you don’t want touched is out of sight. I would also take all your bedding off and you can put fresh sheets on the bed for them so they aren’t all up in your bedding (the thought makes me wanna puke). Good luck, my friend. You got this.” anaturalalien

“I (F17) live with my parents in their house and we have three bathrooms. One bathroom is connected to my parents’ rooms, another is an extra bathroom that is closer to the kitchen/living room, and another is right next to my room. I am the only person that ever uses this bathroom; if my mom or dad goes, they use the one connected to their room. If we have people over or family staying with us, they use the extra guest bathroom we have. I also clean my own bathroom, and although it isn’t always spotless and I do sometimes leave my makeup and hair products out, I keep it hygienic at the least.

My parents have a habit of just walking into my bathroom/room, seeing if it’s clean, poking around, and then leaving. It’s their house; they can go anywhere they want and it’s not that big a deal most of the time.

Once a month, this habit of theirs is a problem between us. I have really heavy periods. I’m healthy as far as I know; I just happen to have heavier periods and need to change products more often. Whenever I throw away my used products I put them in a trash can that’s tucked away in a corner hiding next to the toilet. You wouldn’t be able to see the trash can unless you walked well into my bathroom.

Whenever I’m on my period and either of my parents walks into my bathroom, they get upset whenever they see the pads or in the trash can. There isn’t a lid or cover on my trash can, so the top is open and you can see some of the trash in it. The reason they get upset is because they say it’s disgusting to have my products visible where they or anyone can walk in and see it. They tell me that I need to wrap it in toilet paper, and then put it in the trash so I can’t see it. I’m the one who takes out my trash wherever it gets full, and I think it’s a little dumb and wasteful to wrap my used pads/tampons in toilet paper before I throw them away.

Maybe it’s because it’s my own pads, but it doesn’t bother me to sometimes see a pad sitting in my trash can.

It’s trash; I don’t care, but my parents do. Even though I know they get mad, I just forget to wrap it sometimes, especially when my period first starts, lol. Whenever they walk into my bathroom, they come into my room and start telling me how disgusting it is, and then they make me grab my used pads and tampons out of the trash, wrap them in toilet paper, and then throw them back away. I honestly don’t think it’s a big deal and think I waste a lot of toilet paper whenever I do this, but both my mom and my dad have told me how gross and disgusting it is for me to leave used pads visible in my trash and want me to wrap them up. Is it really gross to leave my used tampons and pads visible in my trash can? AITJ for not covering them up sometimes?”

Another User Comments:
“It is the proper etiquette to wrap pads in toilet paper before discarding them. This is a biohazard and should be covered properly. Additionally, periods start to really reek after a few days, and wrapping with toilet paper, plus a can with a lid, helps cut down on the smell.” EsharaLight

Another User Comments:
“While it’s not a tragedy, I admit I would never leave things this way. I always put the pads in the new pad’s wrapper and also wrap tampons. If you do it when you are outside of your home, why not do it at home?

But your parents don’t have to make a scene about it. So I’ll go with ESH and I concur with the people telling you to buy another trash can.” slecoanet

Another User Comments:
“ESH. Your mom should have had a proper conversation with you instead of yelling at you. Dad can mind his own business unless he’s ever had a period in his life. Also, tell them to buy a trash can with a lid. Wrapping up a pads in toilet paper uses three or four squares; you’re not using the entire roll. Fold in your pads so they’re not just out and about. It starts to smell after a few days, and you’re not going out of your way to cover them up.

It’s just me and my husband in my house; I mainly use the bathroom connected to my bedroom, and I still cover up my used tampons and pads. It’s just polite when you’re living in a space with someone else.” PhantomWoMenace

“So I (F20) have this friend (M19) who I met through work. We are friends but not great friends; we just talk during work and have only hung out outside of work twice. Honestly, we don’t know each other that well, but I enjoy his company. He recently had something good happen for him and he asked me to hang out with him and another friend of his as a celebration. Nothing intense—just spending the day together. I agreed because I was free that day and wanted to go. I know he doesn’t have many friends, which is why only 2 of us were invited.

Then the day comes and I wake up feeling awful.

I have suffered from stomach issues my whole life, and obviously, I can’t control them. That morning, when I woke up, I was in too much pain to even function. We were meant to meet in about an hour, and I knew I couldn’t go in this much pain, so I had to cancel.

Later on in the day, I felt much better, and a friend with whom I am much closer texted me asking if I wanted to join her and her partner that night because they were going out to a party I enjoy going to, and I agreed because I now felt much better and wanted something to do to cheer me up.

I went and had fun, and my friend took lots of pictures and posted them online the next morning. My other friend, whom I had cancelled on, saw the pictures the next morning and messaged me about them, accusing me of canceling on him just to see other people and saying that if I really didn’t want to see him, I could have been much more honest about it. I told him I really had been sick and that I was invited to go out much later in the day, after I felt better and had already canceled, but he accused me of faking and told me I was a terrible friend for ditching him like that on a day when he was excited to celebrate with me.

He pretty much now thinks I canceled on him just for fun and that I lied to get out of being with him because I’m pretending to like him, and that’s really not true.

On one hand, I see how I am a jerk in his point of view, but also I don’t know. I don’t feel like I’m completely in the wrong. He is now ghosting me and ignoring me and won’t let me explain myself, so I just want to see other opinions on this to clear my mind.”

Another User Comments:
“YTJ. If you call in sick to work in the morning, you don’t go out to the pub the same evening, even if you do magically feel better. That’s exactly what you did to this person, and the fact it didn’t even cross your mind when the second invite came along just shows how conceited you are and how oblivious you are to anybody else’s feelings but your own.” RevolutionaryEye4295

Another User Comments:
“If you felt that awful in the morning, you probably shouldn’t have gone out, period.

Let your body rest when you feel that awful. Maybe we have different definitions of pain because if I couldn’t function in the morning with what you described, I’d be out for that entire day and night. But you know your body better. Not giving judgment at the moment because while, yeah, your friend has the right to feel bad, it wasn’t wrong that you went out. Let him have his space, but don’t apologize because you didn’t maliciously ditch him. You had a valid excuse. You feel bad because you empathize with his feelings, but they don’t take precedence over yours. Take care of yourself. Good luck.” citrushibiscus

Another User Comments:
“NTJ – You were sick and had to cancel; you had no idea you would be better that afternoon.

You did and met up with another friend. So good. Unless you weren’t really sick at all and just wanted to flake out, then YWBTJ for canceling.” mustng66

“To start from the beginning, for those who listen to EDM, I had the opportunity to buy eight Illenium tickets ($225 each) as I was first out of the queue, but sadly there weren’t enough tickets for my whole friend group at the time. Luckily, Illenium opened up another date at the same location for the day after, and I had another opportunity to buy another sixteen Illenium (enough for my whole group) for that new date. So, what my friend group decided to do at the time was send the original eight tickets to one person (let’s name him Josh) to bulk sell, as selling tickets together was always easier.

Unfortunately, there was some drama within the friend group that broke us up, and at that point in time, I was the only one who sent my ticket to Josh.

I was hoping Josh would sell my ticket, but I thought it was best to sell my own ticket. So, I texted Josh asking for my ticket back on April eleventh, and he didn’t respond until the twenty-fifth of April, asking for my email. I quickly responded four minutes after that text was sent, and nothing came even after the concert, which happened on the third of June.

By the time the concert happened, I was kind of over-losing that one ticket I sent to Josh because I had already lost $1.7k by underpricing and selling thirteen of those sixteen Illenium tickets earlier, due to everyone flaking on me. Fortunately, my cousin (let’s name her Lisa) heard about this and was genuinely upset for me because $225 is a lot of money, and Josh was posting on social media about buying other tickets for different concerts and festivals, so he obviously had enough money to pay me back.

Lisa replied to Josh’s social media posts, basically calling him out about how he was going to buy more tickets and not pay me back.

One of Lisa and my friends decided that maybe signing him up for scam calls would get his attention, which it finally did, and sadly, he only sent me $100 of the $225 that he owed me and proceeded to tell me that since my friends signed him up for the scam calls, he’s delaying his payment even longer until October.

In all honesty, I am curious if I’m truly the jerk here because Josh’s friend group proceeded to bash my current friend group on social media after this incident, and was wondering if it was not common sense to just pay someone back for money that you borrowed.”

Another User Comments:
“Ok, clearly not.

You lost $1700 buying tickets for these crappy bands while your friend was actively dodging you to make money off your ticket. You know you’re NTJ.” Striking-Newt-3024

“My (21F) cousin (25F) is getting married to her fiancé (28M) in two weeks. I’ve been invited to the wedding as a bridesmaid, but I honestly don’t feel good about the entire thing. I’ve never liked my cousin’s fiancé. Ever since they got together and she introduced him to our family, there has always been something about him. This isn’t just a gut feeling either. If it was, I wouldn’t be making this post. I’ve noticed some red flags from him ever since I’ve known him, and I’ve expressed my concerns to my sister to no avail.

For context, my cousin met him because he was one of my sister’s partner’s friends (what a mouthful), and they were introduced at his birthday party.

However, they’re not friends anymore, as he has said that they fell off and are just acquaintances now.

My sister has told me that my cousin’s partner has told his friends how he’s going to “educate” my cousin and “make her a proper wife when they get married,” whatever that means.

He has said before that he wants a traditional wife and that he’ll be the breadwinner while she does the things a “woman” is supposed to do, which goes against my cousin’s mentality, which is why I don’t think she’s aware of his comments. He always monitors her when we’re out, and more than once have I seen him take her phone away from her in a fit of jealousy.

He’s like a hawk looking down on her. Ever since they started seeing each other, I’ve seen her less and less, and we used to be pretty close.

I’ve told her about this, and she always gets mad, saying I’m trying to ruin their relationship and that those things aren’t true and that I’m overthinking them. That is none of my business, so I’ve stopped telling her this. However, I don’t feel right letting her get married to that man. I know for a fact that he is going to trap her. My sister and I are both worried, but I don’t think there’s much we can do.

I don’t know if any other family members have noticed these red flags. Should I just let her get married to him and try and do something later? I don’t think I can get through to her, but I know she’ll hate me for the rest of my life if I ruin her wedding like that. I can’t think of any other solution to this.”

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ, but not in a bad way, that’s just a jerk thing to do. Your heart is in the right place, but it sounds like she is not going to change her mind about this. Sometimes you need to let people make mistakes, but you will be there for her when she needs it, and that is what’s gonna matter to her the most.” witahole

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but I wouldn’t do it if I were you.

You’ve already told your cousin your concerns and she didn’t listen. If you object at her wedding, her fiancé will have a reason to insist she cut you off as you will look like someone who hates him. Your cousin needs you to be an ally if and when he starts turning her into “a traditional wife.” You may be the only person who understands the extent of his capabilities.” General_Relative2838

“I, (28F) just quit my job a couple of days ago (I made a post on that) when my husband was still unemployed. He told me that he has trouble finding a job since he didn’t go to college, and obviously I believed him because he was my husband. Somebody gave me the idea to set up an interview for him and see what would happen. So, after I saw that comment, I looked online for places that were hiring and didn’t require a college degree. I called up a couple of these places, and one of them said they had a slot open tomorrow (today), so I said that was okay and made it official.

This morning I told my husband that I found a place where he could have a job interview because they didn’t require a college degree, so he has a chance at being hired. For some reason, he got really angry at me.

He said that I should have told him what I was up to and that he could’ve done it himself. Then, I told him, “Well, this is better because the interview is today and you have a higher chance of getting the job. So, can you please at least go to the interview?” I guess I somehow persuaded him, and he said sure. I would have to leave a little bit before his interview so that I could have more time for job hunting.

After finding a couple of places where I could potentially work, I came home during the time he was supposed to be in his interview, and when I walked in, I saw him passed out on the couch, and it smelled like booze. So, of course, I got mad and woke him up because this could’ve helped us make more money.

Then he got really angry at me and started to blow up at me, saying I was a jerk. I abruptly got up and went to get his phone, and when I opened it, I saw three missed calls from the place regarding his interview. So, I got even more mad at him for not even trying to go to his interview.

Then he got up, went to our room, and came out about 10 minutes later with a suitcase, saying he needed time to think over our relationship. I tried to stop him because he was still intoxicated, but he pushed me away and just left. So now I must know AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“Well, I read your note. My 2 cents is that, while it’s not “fun” to grow up without a parent, it’s even less “fun” to grow up with a cranky parent who yells and would rather pass out from drinking booze all day than find a job to help support the family. To answer your question, you’re NTJ for trying to find your husband a job, but you would be a jerk if you chose to raise a child around someone who behaves the way your husband does.

Whatever you think you owe your husband became a lot less important when you got pregnant. Now, your primary responsibility is protecting your child.” emotional_lemon8

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. I’m begging you to have an ounce of self-worth change your locks and never let this man in your life again. I imagine you’ve been paying for everything while he’s unemployed. Either that or he’s getting EI. Regardless, why would he ever get a job if someone else is paying for him to not work? He’s taking advantage of you.” buzzardbite

Another User Comments:
“Yeah, ESH, especially since you’re pregnant. So your husband doesn’t work and gets intoxicated instead of going to his interview, and you want him in the baby’s life?

Does he have any redeeming qualities at all? I guess I just can’t grasp the idea that married adults don’t need to work. How do you pay rent, buy food, pay bills, handle the car loan, etc.? I didn’t see your post the other day, but why did you quit your job if you were already surviving on one income? Hopefully he stays gone and you can get a decent job to take care of your baby because in my opinion, no dad is better than an intoxicated, mean, irresponsible, extremely lazy one. Good luck; I hope everything works out for you.” MurphysLaw4200

“I (25m) was talking to a friend (24m) a few days ago. We ended up talking about how really messed up some of the things that happened during our middle school years and we got to my/our school bully. I ended up saying that I didn’t forgive him, that I have no desire to ever talk to him again and that I would stop being friends with anyone in our friend circle if they started hanging out with him. He thinks I’m overreacting and that I should just let it go at this point and forget about it.

He also said that our friends are free to hang out and have a relationship with him if they want to, as long as we don’t ever happen to contact him (which I agree with, but I also don’t feel comfortable being friends with them after that since they know what happened).

To give some context, this person came to our school when we were 14 and was in our friend group until he was 17 and left for another school. He was friendly at first, but after some time he stopped talking to us. This happened nearly at the same time everyone in the friend group stopped hanging out with us (they still talked to us in school and did school work/assignments together).

After a while, we knew—thanks to a wrongly sent screenshot—that everyone but us was hanging out with our friends after school and during the weekends, and that he called us homophobic slurs/insults to make everyone not include us in any plan, in a group chat we weren’t included in.

After he left and I reconciled with most people in the friend group, I tried to bring up what happened, but everyone acted as if they had no say in it, were never really friends with him, or just didn’t know about us being left behind, even after I told them how it affected me at the time and how I had tried to interact with people for years.

Nobody has ever owned up to it and acted as if nothing ever happened or as if it were some kind of joke. They even remember him fondly sometimes, which makes me sick to my stomach.

My friend says I’d be a jerk if I stopped being friends with any of our friends if they ever decided to start hanging out with him again, since he also had to go through the same situation and doesn’t care anymore. So WIBTJ.”

Another User Comments:
“I don’t think YWBTJ, but I’m not really sure why you’re still friends with these people who either participated in or were bystanders to your bullying.

It doesn’t seem like any of them have validated the hurt that person caused you which suggests they don’t particularly care. Do you really need substandard friends?” UnseemlyDreamer

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You don’t owe your bully your forgiveness, nor do you need to continue to associate with anyone that hangs out with him. You mentioned there was a definite homophobic slant to his bullying. Are you gay? Did the others join in? You don’t paint a very flattering picture of your friend group here. Maybe it’s time to find some new ones.” 295aMinute

Another User Comments:
“I’m certain that this was very painful.

But it happened a very long time ago. It is time you moved on. You do not have to be friends with him if you do not want to (although I suspect you would find he has changed a lot since middle school). But you would be a jerk if you expect your friends to shun him over your childhood resentments. Maybe some therapy would help you come to grips with why you still feel this pain so deeply. Whatever you do. Don’t cut out your friends. You wouldn’t be a jerk, but you will just feel more lonely and resentful. No jerks here.” WheelPurple835

“To keep a long story short, there’s me, my daughter (8), and her dad. We’re separated and don’t get on well, but to be clear, nothing criminal has happened, and there has been no mistreatment or violence; it’s just a generic, boring breakup story.

Her dad is a perfectly decent parent, but she’s my third child vs his first, so I have experience on my side. He works full time whilst I’m written off for disabilities. I have a room for her while he lives in a one-bed… None of these are big reasons why she can’t or shouldn’t live with him, just reasons to tip the scale towards living with me.

And he admits that he just doesn’t want her living with him. He’s fiercely protective of his own space, and while he does love her, he needs time alone every day or he’ll go mental. Also, kiddo has pretty bad anxiety and I know how to manage it well, but—well, read on—her anxiety is either a reason for her to stay or a reason for her to go.

I have family and friends who help me with things like housework and filling out paperwork—basically the stuff I don’t have the spoons for after I’ve spent the day looking after my kiddo—but I don’t have professional carers and I don’t put childcare on the family.

They help voluntarily because I have limitations to my mobility that make something as simple as standing to do the dishes really painful.

However, for the last 2 years, some have been pushing to get my daughter into her dad’s primary care instead of mine, on the grounds that I’m not looking after myself properly because I’m spending what energy I have looking after her. Further, they believe (or at least claim) that my disabilities and the fact that I’m struggling are causing kiddo more anxiety than she would be under if she lived with her dad and I had more time to manage my own stuff.

The others involved in our lives are saying I should be telling them to screw off, that I should keep her with me, that she’s better off with me, that she doesn’t get along as well with her dad and he won’t look after her as well as I do, that the naysayers are just fed up with helping out so much (if that’s the case, they’re free to stop doing so, just to be clear), etc., etc., while the first group is saying I’m being selfish keeping her with me and that we’ll have better quality time with her if she’s not here all day every day, that I’ll have more energy to do more with her and such, and that it’s not about them not wanting to help as much—it’s about wanting our situation to improve.

Worth noting as well, that her dad and I live in the same town, about a mile apart.

I’d still be picking her up after school; I’d see her daily and we’d do 50/50 weekends, but he’d be doing dinner, sleep, and breakfast.

WIBTJ if I started encouraging her dad to take over primary care?”

Another User Comments:
“YWBTJ if you push your child onto a man who clearly does not want to be a parent. There is a lot more I can say, but I feel like I would be preaching to the choir. Your daughter is 8 years old. It would be better for her to stay with you and learn to help support you around the house than be sent to her dad’s where she will clearly be unwanted due to him needing time to himself; otherwise, he will go mental.” [deleted]

Another User Comments:
“So confusing.

Do the child and the father get along or not? It seems you are heavily suggesting he’s a bad father in the post but contradicting in the comments.” [deleted]

“I’m a 25F and married. I have an older sister who is also married and has 3 kids. My sister recently presented the idea of traveling to Europe in early 2024 as a family (my husband and I, her family, and our two parents). We have all shown excitement and willingness to make the trip happen.

My husband and I wanted to go for at least about 15 days, but both my sister and my parents said they would only be able to go for around 10 days due to work and school schedules, which is totally understandable.

My husband and I can, in all honesty, save enough to comfortably afford the extra days, and we both have great jobs that give us ample paid time off as well. Of course, we completely understand that isn’t the case for the rest of our family. I casually mentioned to my family that we might choose to fly in a few days earlier than they would or stay a few days after the rest of them have gone back home. This is because we would like to stay as long as possible and see/do more things, as the airfare is quite pricey from where we live and we wouldn’t be returning there soon. So, we’d like to make the most of it and take advantage.

We’d be using this extra time to do other activities that my family has no interest in, such as Disneyland Paris.

I was teased by my family for this, as they thought it was dumb and that we were silly for being “Disney adults” and “wasting” any time going there at all. They said it was unnecessary and that we have gone to multiple Disney parks around the world already, and that we should just stay the same amount of time as them, as “this is a family trip.” We can’t fathom why they would care what we do with our extra time. My parents were acting slightly affronted that we would choose to stay longer. I want to clarify that this is not because they are worried about us, as we’ve traveled to many countries alone over the years, which my parents have supported and encouraged. My sister expressed that she thinks I’m being selfish for not just sticking to the plans and accused me of potentially ruining the trip. I disagreed since we aren’t affecting anyone in the family by arriving in Europe early or staying later. We would still stick with them as planned and share in all the activities during the days we are all together as a family; we would only split up after they’ve gone home. Still, she said that I always do this and cause unnecessary drama when it comes to family trips. She even called me selfish and spoiled and said I was too used to having my way. She said I could easily make a small sacrifice by just having the same schedule as them, and would only miss out on a few extra days or a theme park visit, which isn’t worth causing problems in the family. I don’t believe I’ve been selfish at all since the extra days we would be staying won’t affect them in any way. AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Hard to believe anyone would have any criticism about your doing the family trip as scheduled but choosing to arrive earlier and leave later to take in a bit more while there. This smacks of jealousy and pettiness to me. Enjoy your entire trip!” Realistic_Head4279

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. It’s your time and money. It’s true that going to Europe is hard because of airfare, and it only makes logical sense to spend as much time as possible over there.

And if you are sticking to their plan for the other 10 days, there should be no drama. Your family is jealous because they don’t get to stay extra. I say you do what you need to and enjoy yourselves, even if it means going on your own for 15 days.” rebelde821

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. My suspicion is that your family wants you and your husband to provide extra childcare support on the flights, so you’re arriving early or leaving later will push all the responsibility onto them. They’re the ones causing drama and acting selfish.” OK_LK

“This situation involves me (34F), my husband (39M), and my stepdaughter (14F), who I will call Alexa. We’ve been married for five years, and two years ago, Alexa came to live with us, as her mom was struggling. Shortly after, I found out I was pregnant with twins, which I know was hard for her. To make things worse, my husband’s company transferred him, so we also moved four months ago, and Alexa had to leave her friends. We let her get a video-chatting app that she and her three closest friends use.

This was fine until it became clear that she didn’t see how having her friends able to see us impacted our privacy.

One time, I woke up to see her in our room with her phone pointed at us. The next day, she said she wanted her friends to see how loudly her dad snored. We didn’t love that she did that, but it seemed relatively harmless, so we just asked her to please not film us without permission.

A couple of weeks later, I was using the feed twins’ room and heard Alexa’s voice just outside the door – she said something about “cow” and then laughed. I looked around the door and again found her with the phone pointed in my direction, and I could hear her friends laughing.

I asked her to disconnect from her call and got her dad so that we could have another talk. She admitted that she said some very upsetting things. I was really upset by this, but – again – we’re aware her world has been turned upside down in the last couple of years, so we tried not to be too harsh. Her dad told her to please respect our privacy, and that there would be consequences if this happened again.

That brings us to two days ago. I was in my bedroom getting changed when I heard the door fly open behind me and one of Alex’s friends said from her phone, “Is your stepmom changing?” and started laughing.

I grabbed a towel to cover myself, turned around, and saw Alexa holding her phone up, pointing it at me, and laughing. After about five seconds, I said, “Alexa, get out of here!” and she quickly backed out. She later claimed she was looking for a brush. At this point, I was done – her dad and I decided that she was not allowed to use this app anymore. He deleted it from her phone, and she lost it, screaming, crying, and saying she hated us. She can still call and text friends, but she’s very upset that she can’t use this app. Now, her dad is having second thoughts and expressing that we were too harsh. Her aunt, whom she is close with, texted that she thinks I’m influencing my husband and that I’m a jerk for doing this to a kid who is having a hard time. We had started family therapy in our old neighborhood, and we’ve been trying to find a therapist that works for us here – I’d be open to her having the app back once I feel more confident that we’ve worked through some issues, but for now, I feel like this will keep happening, and I’m not willing to walk around feeling like I could be ambushed at any time. So AITJ?”

Another User Comments:
“Totally get that it’s been a heck of an upheaval for her, but she was warned about privacy when videoing her dad snoring, she was warned again with consequences stressed when she videoed you pumping milk – she brought it on herself by filming you.

She has not lost the ability to communicate with her friends. Her aunt is welcome to explain how comfortable she’d be in having herself involuntarily shown off to Alexa’s friends. NTJ.” ieya404

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Let’s set aside everything she’s been through and focus on her horrendous lack of boundaries, even after she had been explicitly told to keep her phone out of your personal space. Her troubles do not segue into following you and your husband around, laughing at you with her friends. Her hysterics about having it taken away because she was told that if she keeps violating your privacy, it will get taken away have nothing to do with her mom’s struggles and her having a hard time and whatever.

She is being mean and malicious, and can’t claim she didn’t know any better, because she was clearly told how to do better. Definitely focus on therapy and having a therapist work with her on understanding of boundaries and right and wrong before she can be trusted with the app again. As for her aunt, she needs to please be quiet and stay out of it, unless she is willing to have Alexa come live with her and barge in on her at random private moments with her app and her friends.” Content-Plenty-268

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, but I would suggest setting up the app on a laptop at a desk or desk computer and telling her this is the only place she can use it.

Eliminate her roaming around the house invading your privacy. She still gets to see her friends, and you have privacy. Win / win.” jetpack324

“My best friend Jenny and I, both female, are in our late teens. My cousin Mark is much older than me. Just to make it clear, Mark and I are pretty close, but we are like siblings. I see him as my brother, and he has never done or said anything that would make me think otherwise.

A few months ago, I went to my hometown with my family. All my uncles and aunts went there with their families as well, so all my cousins were there too. Then, one of my other cousins, who is male and my age, told me that he thinks Mark has a thing for me.

I asked him, “Why would you think something like that?” He told me that Mark talked about me in random conversations sometimes, and sometimes stared at me. I told him it was nothing like that; Mark sees me as his younger sister. Then, I told him not to joke about it, as it was not funny. So, he stopped.

After coming back home, I told Jenny about it. I said how ridiculous it was that my cousins would think about me and Mark like that. It should have ended there, but today we were talking over text about one of our friends actually ending up together and being in love when she suddenly said, “Just like you and Mark.”

This made me very uncomfortable—the way she said it.

So, I told her to stop talking about it like that. She asked for Mark’s picture in a way you would ask your friend for their crush’s picture. I told her to stop joking about it multiple times, but she wouldn’t stop and continued teasing me. So, I finally had enough and told her it was making me uncomfortable, but she took it the wrong way and asked me if her asking for Mark’s photo made me uncomfortable. I told her that was not the issue; my problem was her joking about me and Mark like that, and I didn’t like it. She said okay and stopped texting me, and now she is not replying to my texts. I know she was joking, and it was harmless, but I didn’t like it.

I feel like I could have handled the situation in a better way. Now I don’t know how to fix it. So, was I wrong for setting boundaries?”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. Making jokes about cousins ‘being into each other’ isn’t funny. Especially after you have made it plain that you view him as a sibling. By continuing to make comments, your friends (and other relatives) are stating that they think it’s okay for you to be in a weird relationship with someone you view as a brother. That’s gross, and most likely a result of addled minds (step-sibling is huge online).

Charles Darwin married his cousin, and his genetically altered children played a part in his theory of evolution. Your friend is proving she isn’t really a friend by her actions. She owes you an apology for being so crude. Set boundaries (I will not tolerate any inappropriate comments about my cousin, so if you continue, I will end the friendship) or she will continue to ride roughshod over your feelings.” Spartan_Fartan

Another User Comments:
“Your friend sounds a little immature and manipulative. You told her (nicely) that she was making you uncomfortable—she should have apologized, but instead she’s giving you the cold shoulder and waiting for **you** to apologize. I feel like I could have handled the situation in a better way.

Now I don’t know how to fix it. So, was I wrong for setting boundaries? You handled it perfectly. You don’t need to fix anything. And good on you for setting boundaries.” Moose-Live

Another User Comments:
“NTJ. You show maturity in already knowing how to set boundaries. As you grow up, you will learn that many people do not like that. It’s fine. They are not worth the effort. If she values your friendship, she will understand this. Else, I think you are better off without her.” Optimal_Ad_352

“So I volunteer in the baby/toddler rooms at my church. We have a few babies come in during the second service, some of them in their infant carrier car seats. When a super tiny newborn baby, less than 3 months old, came in inside her car seat, I asked my fellow volunteer to bring the baby over to me so I could take her out of the seat, and in response, she said “No, leave her in.” I said, “Car seats are not a safe space for babies this young outside of the vehicle, especially when they do not have good head control,” but was interrupted when she said, “No, this is where we leave the babies.

She’s fine.”

The baby was left unattended inside her seat with no adult watching her. This made me angry, but I didn’t say anything. Then another volunteer came in and brought the carrier with the baby in it over to the rocking chair where I was sitting. The baby started to get fussy, so she rocked and fed her, then immediately put the baby back into her car seat. I told her that leaving a baby in a car seat before they have head control puts them at high risk for positional asphyxiation because being at a weird angle like this could block their airways. I also explained the 2-hour rule, which means that even when a baby is in the car, you should take her out every 2 hours so that she can stretch out.

I even pointed out the warning label on the side of the baby’s car seat that read “Children have strangled in loose or partially buckled straps. ... Click here to continue reading