People Are Overwhelmed With The Drama In These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories

I’m 28F, married to my husband, Sean, for six years now. We’ve got a wild little 4-year-old, Zoe, who’s equal parts adorable and exhausting. This past week, Sean’s mom, Linda, was staying with us, and she’s been soaking up all the grandma time she can get. Yesterday, Linda asked if she could take Zoe to the park today since it was her last day here. We said sure, why not?

Well, last night was a mess. Zoe was in full gremlin mode—refusing to pick up her toys, screaming like a banshee when bath time rolled around, the works.

I even gave her an extra 10 minutes to chill before the bath, but nope. Once she was in the tub, she turned into a tiny water tornado, splashing everywhere no matter how many times I told her to stop. I finally warned her: “If you don’t knock it off, no park with Grandma tomorrow.”

After the bath, bedtime was another disaster. She flopped on the floor, wailing that she wanted to keep playing. I told her I’d grab her a cup of water, and by the time I got back, she better be in bed ready for tuck-in, or the park trip was off.

Guess what? Still on the floor, still screaming. So, I stuck to my word and said no park.

Breaking the news to Linda did not go well. She got mad, said I was being too harsh on a 4-year-old, and that I’d already said yes. I held my ground, but she spent most of the night sulking in the guest room before complaining to Sean, trying to get him to override me.

I don’t think I’m wrong here. Zoe had plenty of warnings, and she and Linda had tons of time together all week. I’m the parent—shouldn’t my kid learn that actions have consequences?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, NAH.

I get where you’re coming from—consistency is key with kids. But also, your MIL isn’t wrong for being upset. A 4-year-old’s memory is basically a goldfish’s; she’s not gonna connect last night’s tantrum to missing the park today. Meanwhile, Linda probably sees this as her last chance to make a core memory with Zoe before she leaves.

Maybe instead of a hard no, you could’ve given Zoe a chance to “earn” it back? Like, “If you can listen all morning, we’ll reconsider.” That way, the lesson sticks without burning the grandma bridge.

Kids that age thrive on immediate feedback, not delayed punishments. And let’s be real—grandma time is sacred. You’re not just punishing Zoe here; you’re punishing Linda too, and she didn’t do anything wrong.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but softly. Look, I’m all for teaching kids consequences, but your approach was kinda off. At that age, consequences should be immediate and logical. Toys not cleaned up? Cool, they disappear for a day. Splashing in the bath? Bath ends early. Tantrum at bedtime? That’s usually a sign of being overtired, not malicious disobedience.

Canceling a next-day park trip with Grandma doesn’t teach Zoe anything except that Mom’s threats are random and disconnected from the actual “crime.” Plus, now you’ve got an angry MIL and a kid who’s still gonna be cranky because she didn’t get to burn off energy.

Next time, try matching the punishment to the behavior in the moment.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. You gave warnings, you followed through. That’s Parenting 101. If you let kids wiggle out of consequences, they learn real fast that your word doesn’t mean anything. My sister’s kids are terrors because she never enforces anything, and now they walk all over her.

That said, maybe the park wasn’t the best thing to take away. Could’ve been screen time or dessert instead—something that doesn’t involve another person’s plans. But overall? Stick to your guns. Kids need boundaries, even if it makes Grandma salty.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, and here’s why: This wasn’t about Zoe.

This was about you flexing your “I’m the parent” muscles. A 4-year-old doesn’t have the brain development to connect yesterday’s tantrum to today’s punishment. What she does understand is “Grandma’s leaving, and now I don’t get to say goodbye properly.”

You’re not teaching her accountability; you’re teaching her that Mom’s punishments are unpredictable and kinda mean. And let’s be honest—was Linda’s visit stressing you out? Because this feels like a power move against her, not a lesson for Zoe.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but with a side of “maybe rethink the method.” Consistency is crucial, but so is picking your battles.

Zoe’s behavior sounds pretty standard for a tired kid pushing limits. Instead of nuking the park trip, maybe a time-out or losing a privilege that night would’ve been more effective.

Also, Linda’s reaction was over the top. Complaining to your husband like you’re some dictator? Not cool. She’s the adult here—she should’ve respected your call, even if she disagreed. But next time, maybe save the big punishments for repeat offenses, not one bad night.

So, me and my husband, Caleb, took our three-year-old, Ava, to the park last weekend. The weather was perfect—sunny but not too hot, just right for swinging and sliding. We were hanging out, watching Ava go down the slide for the hundredth time, when I heard this intense crying. Not the usual whiny “I dropped my snack” kind, but full-on, gut-wrenching sobs. I scanned the playground and spotted this guy, Dylan, trying to wrangle his toddler, Ethan, who was having an absolute meltdown.

I told Caleb to keep an eye on Ava and went over to see if Dylan needed a hand.

Dude looked exhausted. He opened up pretty quick—Ethan had been extra defiant all morning, and nothing was working. Then he dropped the bomb: Ethan’s mom dipped out a few months ago because she decided parenting wasn’t her thing. Dylan was flying solo, totally overwhelmed, and just needed to vent.

We ended up talking for like 40 minutes. I showed him some tricks for handling tantrums, recommended a few parenting forums, and even told him about a local single dads’ group. I gave him my Instagram (which I barely use) in case he wanted to reach out later. He looked so relieved, like I’d thrown him a lifeline.

Felt good to help, y’know?

When I got back to Caleb, though, he was off. Quiet, arms crossed, the whole vibe was weird. I asked what was up, and he hit me with, “You just ditched us for some random guy on our one day together.” (Caleb works crazy hours, so family time is rare.) Then he got all weird about me giving Dylan my socials. I explained I didn’t wanna give my number, and it’s not like I’m active online anyway. But now he’s acting like I crossed some line, and I’m starting to wonder if I should’ve just stayed out of it.

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, you’re 100% NTJ here. What you did was incredibly kind. That guy was drowning, and you threw him a rope. Not enough people step up like that, especially for dads, who often get left out of the whole “parenting support” thing.

That said, I get why Caleb’s upset. Dude probably had this whole picture in his head of a perfect family day, and then you disappeared for almost an hour. Doesn’t make you wrong, but his feelings aren’t totally irrational either. Maybe next time, loop him in? Like, “Hey, this dad’s having a rough go—wanna come help me brainstorm with him?” That way, it feels like a team thing instead of you dipping out.

The social media thing?

Eh, depends on the couple. Some people are cool with it; others see it as a boundary. Caleb might just be insecure because he’s not around much and worries you’ll find someone who is. Not your fault, but it’s worth a conversation. Bottom line: You did a good thing, but Caleb’s feelings aren’t nothing. Talk it out.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are wild for acting like this is no big deal. Look, helping someone is great, but 45 minutes? While your husband and kid are waiting? That’s a lot. Caleb’s not wrong for feeling sidelined.

And the Instagram thing?

Nah. That’s sketchy. Doesn’t matter if you “barely use it”—you still gave a stranger a direct line to you. What if this guy wasn’t just a struggling dad? What if he was some creep using a kid as a prop? True crime podcasts are full of stories that start exactly like this.

You could’ve handed him a list of resources and bounced. Instead, you made it personal. I’d be irate if my partner did that too. Soft YTJ because your heart was in the right place, but your execution was questionable.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but Caleb kinda is.

Dude’s mad you showed basic human decency? Come on.

Dylan was clearly in over his head, and you stepped up. That’s what decent people do. Caleb’s acting like you betrayed him by… checks notes… helping a fellow parent. Newsflash: Parenting is hard, and it takes a village. If the roles were reversed, he’d probably expect someone to help him without throwing a fit.

The social media thing is a non-issue. It’s 2024—people connect online. If Caleb’s that insecure, that’s a him problem. You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, he should be proud he’s married to someone with such a big heart.

Another User Comments:

NAH.

You did a kind thing, but Caleb’s allowed to feel bummed.

Think about it: He works his butt off, finally gets a day with his family, and then you spend a chunk of it on someone else. Of course he’s disappointed. Doesn’t mean you were wrong to help, but his feelings are valid too.

The social media debate is a red herring. The real issue is communication. You assumed he’d be fine with it; he assumed you’d prioritize family time. Neither of you are mind-readers. Next time, a quick “Hey, this might take a minute—you good?” would go a long way.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but gently.

Helping was fine, but you did abandon your family for a stranger. Caleb wasn’t wrong to call that out.

And let’s be real: If some random mom at the park gave Caleb her Instagram “just to chat,” you’d probably side-eye it too. Double standards don’t help anyone.

You could’ve helped Dylan without overstepping boundaries. A 10-minute convo and a “Here’s a great parenting subreddit” would’ve been plenty. Instead, you made it personal, and now Caleb’s (rightfully) questioning why.

Good intentions don’t always equal good choices. Apologize to Caleb and chalk this up to a learning moment.

So, I’m (28f) getting hitched in June, and my sister, Ava (22f), is losing it because I won’t let her bring a few random friends to the wedding. She’s a bridesmaid, so she’ll be sitting at the head table with the rest of the wedding party during dinner. Yeah, it sucks that none of them can sit with their partners right away, but it’s just for the meal—after that, they can mingle however they want. Ava’s partner, Jordan (they’ve been together for like two and a half years), will be there, plus our parents and our other sister, Sophia.

Here’s the thing: my fiancé, Calvin, has a massive family, and I don’t.

Our venue has a hard cap on guests, so we had to set some rules. We only wanted people who actually know us and care about us there. We made it 18+, and the only plus-ones we allowed were for serious relationships (engaged, married, or long-term). Invites went out three weeks ago, and only four people have RSVP’d no so far.

Ava found out and immediately asked if she could fill those spots with her friends. I told her no—I don’t want a bunch of strangers at my wedding, and she’ll already have Jordan and our family there. She got angry and started whining about how she’s way younger than most guests and won’t know anyone (which isn’t even true).

Then she pulled the “but he’ll be alone at dinner!” card about Jordan, even though he adores our parents and chats with them all the time, even when Ava’s not around.

Oh, and of course, she hit me with the classic “but I’m your sister” guilt trip. Now my mom’s siding with her and begging me to “be the bigger person” and let her invite a couple friends. Mom even offered to pay for their plates, but it’s not about the money. It’s about not wanting randos at my wedding.

Am I being unreasonable here?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, NTJ.

Your wedding, your rules. Ava’s acting like this is some kind of group hang where she gets to curate the guest list, but it’s not. It’s your day, and if she can’t handle being around family and her own partner for a few hours without her squad, that’s her problem.

I get that weddings can feel awkward when you don’t know a ton of people, but that’s life? She’s an adult. She can suck it up for one night. Plus, it’s not like she’s being exiled to a table of strangers—she’s literally with the bridal party and her own family.

If anything, this is a great chance for her to practice socializing outside her usual circle.

And your mom needs to stop enabling her. Paying for the seats doesn’t magically make it okay to trample over your boundaries. Stick to your guns. If Ava wants a party with all her friends, she can throw one herself.

Another User Comments:

Y’know, I’m gonna go against the grain here and say maybe you could’ve handled this a little better. Hear me out—I don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep the wedding intimate, but Ava’s anxiety about being the youngest and not knowing many people isn’t totally unfounded.

Could you compromise?

Like, maybe let her invite one close friend instead of a “couple”? That way, she doesn’t feel totally isolated, but you’re not opening the floodgates to a bunch of extras. I get that it’s your day, but family harmony matters too, and this seems like a small concession to avoid long-term drama.

That said, if you’re dead set on no exceptions, that’s totally valid. Just be prepared for some pouting.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and Ava needs to grow up. Since when do bridesmaids get to demand +3s for their entourage? That’s not a thing. Ever.

Her argument about Jordan being “alone” is ridiculous.

He’s a grown man sitting with his partner’s parents, not stranded on a desert island. And the “I’m your sister” card is just emotional manipulation. If she really cared about supporting you, she’d be focused on your happiness, not her social life.

Your mom’s not helping either. Instead of teaching Ava that she can’t always get her way, she’s reinforcing the idea that whining = results. Stand firm. This is a hill worth dying on.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn. On one hand, yeah, it’s your wedding, and you get to decide who’s there.

On the other, weddings are kinda boring for people who don’t know anyone, and Ava’s not wrong that she’ll be stuck making small talk with Calvin’s great-aunt or whatever.

Maybe there’s a middle ground? Could you seat her with Sophia and Jordan instead of the bridal party? That way, she’s with people she’s comfortable with, and you don’t have to add strangers. Just a thought.

Either way, good luck. Family drama is the worst.

Another User Comments:

Ava’s being a brat, full stop. This isn’t her prom. It’s your wedding.

She doesn’t need a cheering section to get through it.

And your mom needs to back off. “Find it in your heart” is just guilt-tripping with extra steps. You’re not running a charity here—you’re throwing a party for the people who matter to you. If Ava can’t handle that, she’s welcome to stay home.

A couple years back, my parents split up, and I (19) moved in with my mom and my siblings—Blake (6), Cody (7), Chloe (14), and Dylan (16). I didn’t wanna break up the family, but man, that was a huge mistake.

Suddenly, I’m the one doing all the cooking, cleaning, and basically raising my little brothers while my mom’s checked out. Oh, and did I mention I’m also working 40+ hours at a hospital? Yeah. Sleep? What’s that?

The breaking point?

Our dog, Buddy. I’m the only one who remembers to feed him, walk him, or take him to the vet. We used to be upper-middle class, but now? Barely scraping by. So of course, my mom decides to bring home a free puppy from some Walmart parking lot. Because that’s a great idea when we can’t even afford groceries half the time.

I told her straight up—this is a disaster. But nope. Now I’m up all night with a screeching puppy while my mom snores away like nothing’s wrong. I’m 19. I shouldn’t be raising four kids and two dogs.

I love my siblings, but this isn’t my job.

I’m this close to packing my stuff, grabbing Buddy, and moving in with my dad. It’ll wreck my relationship with my mom, but at this point, I don’t care. She’s taking advantage of me, and I’m tapped out.

So, WIBTJ if I just… leave?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Dude, you’re basically Cinderella without the glass slipper. Parentification is mistreatment, plain and simple. Your mom’s treating you like a live-in nanny instead of her kid. You didn’t sign up for this, and you definitely shouldn’t feel guilty for leaving.

Think about it—if your best friend told you this story, what would you say?

You’d tell them to run. You’re not responsible for fixing your mom’s mess. She’s the adult. She should act like one.

Take Buddy, go to your dad’s, and don’t look back. Your siblings will survive. And if your mom freaks out? Too bad. Maybe it’ll finally force her to step up.

Another User Comments:

Y’know, I’m gonna go against the grain here. Soft YTJ. Hear me out—I get that you’re overwhelmed, but bailing on your siblings isn’t the answer. They didn’t ask for this either, and if you leave, all that responsibility’s gonna land on Chloe and Dylan.

Have you tried sitting your mom down and laying out exactly how bad this is?

Like, bills on the table, schedules mapped out, the whole nine yards? Sometimes parents don’t realize how much they’re screwing up until it’s staring them in the face.

If she still doesn’t listen? Fine, leave. But at least give her one last chance to fix it.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but you’re kinda playing yourself by staying this long. You’re 19—you should be figuring out your life, not raising someone else’s kids.

And that puppy? Classic distraction tactic. Your mom’s avoiding her problems by adding more chaos. News flash: that’s not your circus, and those aren’t your monkeys.

Pack your bags, take Buddy, and don’t feel bad for a second.

Your mom’s the one who failed here, not you.

Another User Comments:

Honestly? ESH. Your mom for obvious reasons, but you’re enabling her by sticking around. Every time you pick up the slack, she learns she doesn’t have to.

You gotta set hard boundaries. “I’m not raising your kids. I’m not taking care of another dog. If you don’t step up, I’m gone.” And then follow through.

Right now, you’re teaching her that you’ll always cave. Stop that.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but think long-term. If you leave, what happens to Blake and Cody?

Chloe and Dylan might help, but they’re kids too.

Could you and your dad work out a custody thing for the younger ones? Or maybe get CPS involved if it’s that bad? I know that sounds nuclear, but if your mom’s this checked out, those kids deserve better.

Either way, you gotta put yourself first. You can’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm.

My mom lives close by and is remodeling her kitchen. On Tuesday, she asked if I knew anyone who wanted her old stove since she was getting a new one delivered Thursday. I reached out to two of our farm’s workers, who aren’t exactly rolling in cash. Blake said yes and could pick it up Friday—the deadline my mom gave since she needed it gone. Cool, done deal.

Then Friday rolls around, and Blake’s truck breaks down. No problem—my buddy Carter loans his truck to help out.

They haul the stove from my mom’s place back to our farm and stash it in one of the barns for temporary storage. That’s when my wife, Riley, sees it and suddenly decides she wants to keep it.

She calls me a jerk for not asking her first. Here’s the thing—I had zero clue she even wanted a second stove. She’s never mentioned it before. And let’s be real, we don’t even have space for another one. But apparently, she’s been dreaming of converting part of the barn into some mystery room for, oh, the last seven years.

No blueprints, no real plan, just vibes. Now she claims she’ll use the stove in this hypothetical future room. Still no idea what the room’s even for.

This morning, she leaves me a note saying not to give the stove away. When I remind her I already promised it to Blake, she straight-up calls him and tells him he can’t have it because she’s keeping it.

Here’s the kicker—we’re not hurting for money. Buying a new stove wouldn’t even make a dent. But we’re not the type to waste cash on dumb stuff, either.

I think Blake should get the stove, and if Riley really wants one, she can go buy her own. She says I messed up by not consulting her first. I told her it wasn’t mine to give—it was my mom’s, and she’s basically taking it from Blake, who’s a great worker and hard to replace.

AITJ for not checking with my wife before handing off the stove?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Your wife is being ridiculous. She wants to hoard a perfectly good stove for a room that doesn’t exist, might never exist, and has no clear purpose?

Come on. That stove’s gonna sit in the barn collecting dust, rust, and probably a family of raccoons. By the time she gets around to her imaginary renovation, she’ll want a shiny new one anyway.

Call Blake back and tell him the stove is his. Then sit your wife down and explain that this isn’t just about a stove—it’s about keeping your word to someone who actually needs it. If she ever builds her mystery room, fine, you’ll figure out a stove then. But right now, this is just selfish.

Another User Comments:

Y’know, I’m gonna go against the grain here and say ESH.

Yeah, your wife’s being extra, but you didn’t even think to ask her before giving away an appliance? Even if she’s never mentioned wanting one, big household stuff should at least get a quick chat.

That said, her pulling the rug out from under Blake is messed up. If she really wants it, she should’ve spoken up sooner. Now it’s just awkward for everyone. You both need to communicate better.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Your mom gave the stove away, not you. Your wife’s acting like she’s entitled to something that was never hers to begin with.

And let’s be real—if she hasn’t built this room in seven years, she’s not building it anytime soon.

Blake actually needs the stove. Your wife just wants to stash it like a dragon hoarding treasure. Tell her to let it go and buy her own if she’s ever serious about this project.

Another User Comments:

Honestly, your wife sounds like a nightmare. Who does that to an employee? If I were Blake, I’d be side-eyeing both of you hard. She’s treating him like he’s less important because he’s not rolling in cash, and that’s gross.

You need to fix this.

Either give Blake the stove or buy him a new one to make up for your wife’s behavior. And maybe have a serious talk about why she thinks it’s okay to jerk people around like this.

Another User Comments:

I get where your wife’s coming from—sort of. If she’s been dreaming about this room for years, maybe the stove felt like a step toward making it real. But she went about it all wrong.

Instead of demanding it last minute, she should’ve talked to you like an adult. Now it’s a whole mess. Maybe compromise—let Blake have this one, but start planning the barn room together so it actually happens.

That way, she gets her project, and you don’t screw over a good worker.

My husband, Marcus, died suddenly six months ago, and now I’m a single mom to three kids—Caleb (16M), Fiona (14F), and Ella (2F). After his death, our income dropped hard, and we had to move out of our old place. Right now, all I can afford is a tiny one-bedroom apartment.

I’m crashing in the living room with Ella, while Caleb and Fiona share the bedroom. I tried to make it work by putting up a divider so they’d each have some privacy, but they’re not happy.

Before this, they both had their own rooms, so yeah, it’s a huge adjustment.

I’ve been job hunting for months, but no luck so far. A second job isn’t an option because I can’t afford childcare outside daycare hours, and Caleb and Fiona refuse to help with Ella. They’ve straight-up said she’s not their problem.

I know this setup sucks, but I don’t know what else to do. For the past few weeks, I’ve been skipping meals two days a week and telling the kids I’m “trying intermittent fasting.” The truth?

I can’t afford enough food for all of us. I’ve been relying on the food bank, which I’m so grateful for, but it’s also humiliating. I never thought I’d be in this position.

Would I be the jerk for sticking to the current bedroom arrangement? Or should I have Caleb sleep in the living room with me and let the girls share the bedroom?

For context, we’re not in the U.S., but here, it’s definitely not normal for teen siblings of opposite genders to share a room. I get why they’re upset, but I’m out of options.

Another User Comments:

Look, no jerks here, but your teens need a reality check.

You’re literally starving yourself, and they won’t even babysit so you can get a better job? That’s messed up. They’re old enough to understand how bad things are. Sit them down and lay it all out—the food situation, the money, everything. Right now, they’re acting like this is some minor inconvenience instead of a full-blown crisis.

They could take turns watching Ella a few hours a week so you can pick up extra work. If they want their own rooms bad enough, they should be willing to help make that happen. Yeah, it’s not fair that they have to step up, but life isn’t fair, and their mom shouldn’t have to starve because they can’t be bothered to pitch in.

Also, check if there are any local programs that offer subsidized childcare or teen job placements.

Some places have resources specifically for families in your situation.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Your kids aren’t little—they’re old enough to get it. You’re not asking them to parent Ella full-time, just help out enough so you can work toward a better situation. Right now, they’re acting like spoiled brats, no offense.

I get that sharing a room with a sibling is annoying, but they’re lucky they even have a roof over their heads. A lot of families end up in shelters after a loss like yours. Maybe if they realized how close you all are to the edge, they’d be more willing to compromise.

Also, please stop skipping meals.

You can’t help anyone if you’re passing out from hunger. See if there are any community kitchens or churches that do free meals. Some schools even have programs where kids can take home food on weekends.

Another User Comments:

NAH. This is just a terrible situation all around. Your teens aren’t wrong for hating the room-sharing—it’s a big adjustment—but they are wrong for refusing to help at all.

Maybe frame it as a trade: if they babysit Ella X hours a week, you’ll use that time to earn extra money for a bigger place. If they say no, then they don’t get to complain about the bedroom.

Harsh? Maybe. But they’re not toddlers—they can understand cause and effect.

Also, have you looked into remote work? Some customer service jobs let you work from home, which might help with childcare gaps.

Another User Comments:

Nope, not the jerk. But you are being too soft on them. Your teens are acting like this is a hotel and you’re the staff. News flash: they’re part of the family, and families help each other.

Tell them straight-up: “We’re broke. I’m not eating so you can. If you want things to change, here’s how you can help.” Make it clear this isn’t a punishment—it’s survival.

And hey, if they still refuse?

Tough. They can share the room and deal with it. You’re doing your best, and that’s all anyone can ask.

Another User Comments:

Honestly? Your kids are being selfish, but grief does weird things to people. They might be fixating on the bedroom thing because it’s easier than facing the bigger issues (losing their dad, financial instability, etc.).

Try having a family meeting where you’re all honest about how you’re feeling. Maybe they’ll open up about why they’re so resistant to helping. And if they still won’t budge, well… sometimes life forces us to do things we don’t like.

Sharing a room won’t kill them.

I’m Julian (31m), and my wife, Ava (29f), got pretty upset last night because I didn’t come to bed until like 1:30 am. She wanted me to come up earlier, but I was in the middle of a raid with my guild in Elder Realms, and I didn’t want to bail on them. It’s not like I do this every night—this was the first time in almost a week that I’d gotten to play for more than an hour straight.

Around midnight, Ava texted me, “If you don’t care about making this work, stop wasting my time.” I didn’t reply because, honestly, I didn’t know what to say.

The next day, I tried explaining that I just needed some time to unwind, and she hit me with, “You get alone time when Milo (our 3-year-old) naps.”

I get where she’s coming from, but here’s the thing—during nap time, I’m usually scrambling to do laundry, clean up the disaster zone that is our living room, or finally take a shower without a tiny human banging on the door. So in my mind, taking 2-3 nights a week to game isn’t unreasonable. I still spend most evenings with Ava—on raid nights, I’m upstairs by 10, and the other nights, we’re hanging out like normal.

But she says I’m being selfish and not considering her feelings.

And like, yeah, I am thinking about her while I’m gaming. It’s not like I’m ditching her to go out drinking or whatever. I’m literally in the next room, doing something I enjoy.

AITJ here?

Another User Comments:
Look, Julian, I’m gonna be real with you—YTJ, but not in a malicious way. You’re missing the bigger picture. Your wife isn’t just mad about the gaming. She’s telling you she feels neglected, and that “wasting my time” line? That’s a flashing neon sign that she’s seriously unhappy.

You say you’re balancing things, but is she getting equal downtime?

Like, does Ava get 2-3 nights a week where she can just check out and do whatever she wants, no responsibilities? If not, then yeah, this is unfair. And let’s talk about the timing—staying up until 1:30 am means you’re probably exhausted the next day. Does that mean Ava’s picking up your slack with Milo in the morning?

Gaming isn’t the enemy here, but you gotta communicate better. Maybe set a schedule so she knows when you’ll be unavailable, or cut back to one or two dedicated nights. And for the love of goodness, give her the same freedom you’re taking.

Marriage is teamwork, and right now, it sounds like she’s carrying more of the load.

Another User Comments:
NTJ, but barely. Dude, you’re allowed to have hobbies. The issue isn’t that you’re gaming—it’s that your wife feels like she’s not a priority. And honestly, her reaction seems extreme. Threatening to end things over one late night? That’s not healthy communication.

That said, you guys need to find a compromise. Maybe agree on specific raid nights so she knows what to expect, or trade off—you get Tuesday and Thursday for gaming, she gets Wednesday and Friday for whatever she wants to do.

And yeah, nap time doesn’t count as “me time” if you’re just doing chores.

But also, Ava needs to chill. You’re not out partying; you’re at home. If she’s this upset over a few hours of gaming, there might be deeper issues she’s not articulating. Couples therapy could help you both get on the same page.

Another User Comments:
YTJ, and here’s why: you’re treating your wife like she’s unreasonable for wanting your attention. You have a toddler. Life is chaos right now, and Ava’s probably drowning in the mental load of keeping your household running.

When she says you get alone time during naps, she’s pointing out that she doesn’t get that luxury.

You’re justifying your gaming by saying you’re still “considering” her, but considering her would mean actually listening to what she’s saying. She’s telling you she’s unhappy. She’s telling you she feels like an afterthought. And instead of fixing it, you’re on Reddit asking if you’re the jerk.

Cut the raids down to one night a week. Give Ava a night off where you handle everything. And for goodness’ sake, go to bed at a decent hour.

You’re not 22 anymore—staying up until 1:30 am when you have a kid is just irresponsible.

Another User Comments:
NTJ, but you’re both handling this poorly. Julian, you’re not wrong for wanting downtime, but you’re dismissing Ava’s feelings instead of working with her. And Ava’s ultimatum-style texting isn’t helping either.

Here’s what you do: sit down and hash out a fair schedule. Maybe you game from 9–11 pm two nights a week, and she gets the same block for her hobbies. Or hire a babysitter once a week so you can both relax. Right now, it sounds like you’re both keeping score instead of solving the problem.

And PSA: nap time is not free time.

It’s “catch-up-on-life” time. Stop pretending it’s the same as uninterrupted leisure.

Another User Comments:
YTJ, but not irredeemable. Look, I get it—gaming is your escape. But your wife is screaming into the void here. That text wasn’t about last night; it was about every night she’s felt alone while you’re downstairs with your headset on.

You say you’re balancing things, but balance means both people are happy. Is Ava happy? Doesn’t sound like it. So either step up and find a real compromise, or accept that your marriage is on borrowed time.

And for goodness’ sake, stop acting like chores during nap time count as “me time.” That’s just adulting.

I’m Ava (18F), and my little sister, Beth (15F), has been a nightmare for as long as I can remember. Growing up, she’d constantly tear me down—calling me ugly, mocking my clothes, you name it. And the worst part? My parents, Mom and Dad, always took her side. If I ever stood up for myself, I’d get yelled at for “picking on her.” Meanwhile, if Beth messed up, somehow it was my fault. My older sister, Clara (21F), would just shrug and say, “She’s just a kid, ignore her.”

Over time, I learned to just shut up and take it.

It stopped hurting as much, and honestly, I figured it wasn’t worth the fight. Beth had chilled out a bit lately—fewer insults, more silence. We weren’t friends, but at least we weren’t at each other’s throats.

Then last weekend happened.

Beth had her friend Daisy over for a sleepover, and they were obnoxious. Laughing, shrieking, slamming doors—until like 2 AM. My room’s right next to hers, so I got exactly zero sleep. Whatever, I figured I’d just crash late. But nope. At 7 AM, Beth blasted music loud enough to shake the walls. I stumbled into her room, half-dead, and asked (okay, begged) her to turn it down so I could sleep one more hour.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You’re so dramatic, it’s not even that loud.”

And I just… lost it.

I screamed, “OH MY GOD, I WISH YOU WEREN’T MY SISTER!

I HATE YOU!”

Silence. Then she burst into tears.

I felt awful immediately. Like, yeah, she’s been awful to me, but I didn’t mean it. I love her, even if she’s a brat. But before I could apologize, she ran to our parents, and of course, they ripped into me. Clara called me a “terrible sister” and said I was “too old to act like this.”

Here’s the thing—I know I shouldn’t have yelled. But is it really fair that Beth gets away with years of cruelty, and I’m the villain for one outburst?

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Okay, first off, NTJ. You’ve been dealing with this for years, and your family’s reaction proves they’ve enabled Beth’s behavior. The fact that they let her bully you without consequences and then act shocked when you finally snap is ridiculous.

Let’s be real—this isn’t just about the music. It’s about the years of favoritism, the lack of support, and the emotional toll of being the family punching bag. You’re not a bad sister. You’re a human being who reached her breaking point.

That said, if you want to smooth things over, maybe apologize for yelling (not for how you feel).

But also? Set boundaries. Tell your parents how Beth’s behavior has affected you. If they won’t listen, consider talking to a school counselor or another adult you trust. You deserve to be heard.

And hey—moving out might not be a bad idea. Sometimes distance is the only way to make toxic family dynamics better. Hang in there.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but girl, you gotta stop blaming yourself. You’ve been conditioned to think you’re the problem when Beth is the one who’s been awful. Your parents failed you both—her by letting her act like a spoiled brat, and you by not protecting you.

Yeah, yelling wasn’t ideal, but sleep deprivation plus years of pent-up frustration?

That’s a recipe for explosion. Your guilt shows you care, but don’t let it blind you to the real issue: your family’s unfair treatment.

Also, Clara needs to back off. Where was her “good sister” energy when Beth was tearing you down? Hypocrisy at its finest.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but softly. Hear me out.

You’re not wrong for being upset, but screaming “I hate you” is harsh, especially to a 15-year-old. Beth’s behavior sucks, but she’s still a kid, and words like that stick.

That said, your parents are the real jerks here.

They’ve created this dynamic by never holding Beth accountable. You’re both victims of their bad parenting.

Apologize for the outburst, but only if Beth acknowledges how she’s hurt you too. Otherwise, it’s just more one-sided blame.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and anyone saying otherwise is ignoring the bigger picture.

Your family has spent years teaching Beth that she can treat you like garbage without consequences. Of course you snapped. That’s what happens when people push you too far.

The fact that you feel guilty proves you’re not the villain here. But please, stop trying to be someone she can like.

You shouldn’t have to twist yourself into a pretzel for basic respect.

Also, your parents need a wake-up call. Maybe show them this thread.

Another User Comments:

ESH, but mostly your parents.

Beth’s old enough to know better, but she’s clearly been raised to think her behavior’s okay. You’re not innocent (yelling “I hate you” is never productive), but your reaction came from years of unfair treatment.

Family therapy might help, but honestly? Start planning your exit. College, a job, whatever—get some space. You’ll see things clearer when you’re not stuck in that toxic environment.

About 15 years ago, my sister’s ex-husband, Dylan, got arrested and ended up doing a seven-year stretch in prison. They split up while he was inside, and she packed most of his stuff into boxes and stashed them in our grandpa’s basement. I was around 10 at the time and remember helping her lug some of it down there. Some of it was pricey—electronics, collectibles—and some of it was just sentimental, like old family photos and letters.

When Dylan got out, he asked about his things, and my sister, Tara, straight-up told him she’d trashed or sold everything.

Here’s the thing though—Dylan wasn’t some random guy. He’d been a close family friend even before he married Tara, and after the divorce, he stayed tight with my brothers, especially my older brother, Noah. I’d always liked him too, even after everything. But every time he’d bring up some lost item—his dad’s old watch, his vinyl collection—I kept my mouth shut. In my kid brain, it felt like a small way to punish him for what he’d put Tara through. I never really thought much about it, never felt guilty.

Fast forward to last month.

Grandpa was cleaning out his basement and stumbled onto the boxes. He had no clue they were supposed to be a secret, so he called Dylan and told him to come pick them up. Dylan was upset when he realized he’d been lied to for years, but also relieved that most of his stuff wasn’t actually gone forever. Tara later claimed she was gonna tell him eventually—once he’d paid her back some money he owed and “made up for leaving her to raise three kids alone.”

Then, a few days ago, I accidentally let it slip that I’d known where his stuff was the whole time.

I didn’t think he’d be that mad—he’s usually pretty chill when my brothers and I give him grief over Tara. But this time? He blew up. He said lying about his stuff crossed a line, especially the sentimental things he thought were gone for good. And yeah, I get why he’s upset. It was kinda messed up. But part of me still thinks he had it coming.

Now my siblings are split. Noah and my brother Liam think I was a total jerk for keeping it from him. But my other siblings say it was Tara’s call, not mine.

So… AITJ?

Another User Comments:

“Honestly? NTJ. You were a kid when this all went down, and kids don’t exactly have the best moral compass when it comes to family loyalty. You saw your sister struggling, you saw Dylan as the guy who hurt her, and you did what felt right at the time. Was it the best move? Probably not. But it’s not like you were scheming for years—you just didn’t correct a lie that wasn’t even yours to begin with.

Dylan has a right to be upset, but he’s also gotta recognize that prison has consequences beyond just doing time.

He lost trust, he lost his marriage, and yeah, he lost access to his stuff for a while. That’s part of the deal. If he’s still tight with your family, he should be able to get past this. And you? Don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from it and move on.”

Another User Comments:

“YTJ, no question. Look, I get that you were a kid when this started, but you’re not a kid anymore. You had years to come clean, especially once you realized how much those sentimental items meant to him. Instead, you let him believe they were gone forever.

That’s cruel, no matter how you spin it.

And let’s be real—if Dylan was such a terrible guy, why is your whole family still cool with him? Either he’s a monster who deserves to lose everything, or he’s not. You don’t get to have it both ways. You and Tara held his stuff hostage for no good reason, and that’s just petty. You owe him an apology, full stop.”

Another User Comments:

“ESH. Dylan messed up by getting locked up and leaving Tara to handle everything alone. Tara messed up by lying and hiding his stuff instead of just telling him the truth.

And you messed up by playing along with it.

But here’s the thing—none of this was yours to control. It wasn’t your marriage, your divorce, or your stuff. You got dragged into a mess that wasn’t yours, and now you’re dealing with the fallout. The best thing you can do now is own up to your part, apologize, and let Dylan and Tara figure out their own drama. And maybe next time, stay out of other people’s baggage.”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, but only because you were a kid when this started. Kids don’t always make the best choices, especially when it comes to protecting someone they love.

That said, you’re not a kid anymore, and you did have the chance to fix this sooner.

Dylan isn’t wrong for being upset, but he’s also not blameless here. He left your sister to raise three kids alone for seven years. That’s a huge deal. If he’s mad about losing some stuff, maybe he should think about what she lost. At the end of the day, this is between him and Tara. You were just caught in the middle.”

Another User Comments:

“Y’all are wild for acting like this is some deep moral dilemma. Dude went to prison, his wife divorced him, and she hid his stuff.

That’s life. Was it nice? No. Was it understandable? Absolutely.

Dylan isn’t entitled to anything after what he did. If Tara had thrown it all out, nobody would’ve blamed her. The fact that she kept it at all is more than he deserved. And you? You were just being loyal to your sister. Could you have handled it better? Sure. But let’s not pretend like Dylan is some innocent victim here. He made his bed.”

So, I’m Ava (22F), and I’ve got a twin brother, Logan (22M), and an older sister, Morgan (25F). Morgan’s always had this weird resentment toward us, especially me, and my mom says it’s because when Logan and I were born, everyone lost their minds over “omg twins!!” while Morgan got shoved to the side. Mom never really explained why Morgan never moved past it, but hey, family drama, right?

Fast-forward to last week—we were all at our parents’ place for the holidays, and Mom hit us with the classic “I’m so proud of all my kids” speech.

Logan and I were like, “Aw, thanks,” but Morgan? Oh no. She hit back with, “I should be the proud one. I basically raised them.” Cue record scratch. Everyone froze, and we all just stared at her like, excuse me?

Some context: Mom worked part-time when we were kids, and when she was gone, our grandparents watched all three of us. Morgan was never asked to babysit—not once. Honestly, it would’ve been ridiculous anyway since she’s only three years older. If our grandparents weren’t around, Mom hired a sitter, even when Morgan insisted she was “too old” to need one.

Chores were split evenly, and Mom or Dad (or sometimes me) cooked dinner.

Morgan doubled down: “I was the one driving them everywhere—school, sports, you name it. That’s parentification, and it was totally unfair.”

I couldn’t help it—I laughed. “Parentification is when the oldest kid gets turned into a third parent. You drove us to school… the same school you went to. You drove us to sports… when you were also on the team. Name one time you drove us somewhere you weren’t already going. You weren’t parentified—you’re just bitter.”

Morgan got angry.

She said I had no idea how hard it was to “share a car with siblings,” and okay, fair, I don’t. But still. Mom didn’t take sides, just said I shouldn’t have engaged. Now I’m wondering if I was too harsh. AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Morgan’s reaching hard with this parentification nonsense. Driving your siblings to places you were already going isn’t even close to parentification—it’s just… being a sibling. If she’d been forced to skip her own activities to chauffeur you around, or if she’d been responsible for your meals, homework, and bedtime, that’d be different.

But from what you’ve said, she’s just mad she didn’t get to be an only child.

Also, the fact that your mom never made her babysit says a lot. A lot of older siblings get stuck with way more responsibility than Morgan ever did, and she’s out here acting like driving to school was some huge sacrifice. Girl needs a reality check.

Another User Comments:

Soft ESH. Morgan’s definitely exaggerating, but you didn’t have to go nuclear on her. Yeah, her definition of parentification is way off, but it sounds like she’s carrying some real resentment—maybe from feeling overlooked when you and Logan were born.

Doesn’t excuse her behavior, but laughing in her face and calling her bitter probably didn’t help.

Your mom’s reaction is kinda telling, too. If she didn’t correct Morgan, maybe there’s more to the story? Or maybe she just didn’t want to deal with the drama. Either way, this could’ve been handled better.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but only a little. Morgan’s wrong about parentification, but you know she’s sensitive about this stuff. You could’ve just said, “That’s not what parentification means,” instead of going straight for the “awful sister” comment.

Siblings fight, but rubbing salt in old wounds isn’t gonna fix anything.

Also, driving siblings around can be annoying, even if you’re going the same place. Maybe she felt like she never got to just be a kid without you two tagging along. Doesn’t make her right, but it explains why she’s still hung up on it.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and Morgan needs to log off TikTok if she’s throwing around “parentification” like this. Actual parentification is serious—it’s kids raising kids, missing out on childhood because they’re stuck playing mom or dad.

Morgan? She had to share a car. Boo hoo.

That said, your mom’s non-reaction is weird. If Morgan’s been holding onto this for years, your parents should’ve addressed it way before now. Letting her stew in jealousy isn’t doing her any favors.

Another User Comments:

ESH. Morgan’s being dramatic, but you’re not innocent here. Sibling rivalry’s normal, but you both sound like you’re stuck in high school. She’s 25 and still whining about attention she didn’t get as a kid? You’re 22 and couldn’t resist dunking on her instead of just rolling your eyes?

Grow up, both of you.

And your mom needs to step in before this turns into a lifetime of petty grudges.

So, I’ve got three adopted kids—Ava (15F), Noah (19M), and Liam (21M). There’s also an older sister, Zoe (26F), who’s technically family but wasn’t raised by us. We’ve always included her, though, and she’s been around a lot more since she moved in last year.

Zoe came to us saying she was scared she’d lose her job and wanted to save up, get her phlebotomy certification, and start fresh.

The deal was she’d stay for a year max and share Ava’s room. Fast forward to now, and… well, let’s just say Zoe’s track record for good decisions hasn’t improved. She did get the certification, but she quit two jobs since then and now works at Burger King. Savings? None.

A few months back, Ava started talking about all the things she wanted to do with her room once Zoe moved out. I had to gently break it to her that unless we were cool with kicking Zoe to the curb, that wasn’t happening anytime soon. Ava gets it, but she’s understandably frustrated.

She’s a neat freak, while Zoe’s a tornado of clutter. Ava wakes up at 4:30 AM for school; Zoe’s up late yelling into her phone. You get the picture.

The other night, Ava told me she’s worried if Zoe sticks around much longer, it’s gonna wreck their relationship for good. I mentioned that my husband and I had half-joked about making Zoe share with Liam (21M, unemployed, generally allergic to ambition). Ava lit up—she’d been thinking the exact same thing.

Here’s the layout: Right now, Ava and Zoe share the biggest room (it’s got a sink and vanity, pretty sweet).

Liam’s got the next biggest, and Noah (19M, full-time student and working full-time) has the smallest. Ava suggested swapping with Liam so Zoe could stay in the big room, and Liam and Zoe would share it.

Obvious downsides: Zoe and Liam are adults who like their privacy. But honestly, why should Ava keep sacrificing just because she’s the same gender as Zoe? The two people who could move out but won’t are the ones who should be inconvenienced, right? WIBTJ if I made this happen?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Honestly, the two oldest—Zoe and Liam—are coasting while everyone else is pulling their weight.

Stick them in the big room with a divider and call it a day. Noah’s grinding through college and work; he deserves to keep his space. Ava’s 15 and actually trying to build good habits—she shouldn’t have to play roommate to someone who’s basically a human tornado.

I get wanting to help Zoe, but sharing a room with a teenager was a bad call from the jump, especially knowing her history. This isn’t going to go over well with her or Liam, but that’s kind of the point. Right now, they’re way too comfy doing the bare minimum.

Yeah, there might be drama, but maybe that’s the push they need to get their acts together. Just brace yourself—Zoe might peace out if things get too real.

Another User Comments:

This idea is terrible… for Zoe and Liam. Which is exactly why you should do it. They’ve got it way too easy right now, and Ava’s the one paying the price. She’s at an age where having her own space is huge for school and just… being a kid. Meanwhile, Zoe’s out here acting like a permanent houseguest.

Throw a divider in the big room and move them in.

Either they’ll figure it out or they’ll realize living elsewhere is better. Win-win. NTJ, and honestly, it’s kinda wild this hasn’t happened already.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but this is going to blow up in your face if you don’t handle it carefully. Have you considered splitting the big room? Like, DIY a temporary wall with plywood and insulation? That way, Zoe and Liam each get a tiny space, and Ava gets her room back. It doesn’t have to be fancy—just enough to give everyone some privacy.

Yeah, it’s not ideal, but neither is the current setup.

At least this way, the adults can’t complain too much, and Ava gets what she needs.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are being way too nice to Zoe and Liam. They’re grown. If they don’t like sharing a room, they can get jobs and move out. Ava’s the only one here who has to live with you, and she’s stuck dealing with their nonsense.

Put them in the big room, no divider. Let them figure it out. If they’re miserable, good—maybe it’ll light a fire under them. Right now, they’re taking advantage of your kindness, and Ava’s suffering for it.

Not cool.

Another User Comments:

I feel like everyone’s ignoring the real issue: why is Noah, the one actually working and going to school, stuck with the smallest room? Swap him into the big room with Liam, let Zoe and Ava keep their setup, and tell Liam to step up.

Either way, this family needs some tough love. Zoe’s had a year to get her act together, and Liam’s just… there. Time to shake things up. NTJ, but don’t let this drag on forever.

Me and my husband, Marcus, have three kids—16-year-old Ryan, 14-year-old Evan, and 8-year-old Connor. Last September, we lost Evan in a car crash, and since then, grieving has been… well, complicated. Marcus and I handle it totally differently. I need to talk about Evan—what he was like, how much I miss him, even the details of the accident. Marcus? He shuts down the second I bring it up. He’d rather process things alone, which is fine, but it makes me feel like I’m grieving by myself sometimes. Our marriage is still strong, but there’s this huge thing we just don’t talk about.

Yesterday, Marcus was out running errands, and when he got back, he asked where the kids were. I said, “Ryan’s at soccer practice, Connor’s in his room, and Evan’s… well, you know where Evan is.”

Marcus froze. Then he told me that joke was messed up and that I was being cruel. I said, “Look, humor’s how I deal with this. You don’t have to like it, but you don’t get to police how I grieve.” He called me “heartless” and said he was taking the boys out to eat without me. While they were gone, he texted me saying he was “disgusted” by how flippant I was about our son’s death and that he was worried I wasn’t taking it seriously.

When they got home, Marcus went straight to the guest room. I tried to talk to him, but he just said, “Not tonight.” Later, Ryan asked me why his dad was so upset, and when I told him, he actually chuckled and said, “Yeah, that’s kinda funny in a messed-up way.”

I get that Marcus’s hurting, but so am I. And yeah, maybe that joke was dark, but it’s my house too. AITJ for cracking a morbid joke?

Another User Comments:

Man, this is rough. First off, I’m so sorry for your loss. Losing a kid is something no parent should ever have to go through, and there’s no “right” way to handle it. You’re not a jerk for using humor to cope—heck, I do the same thing. Sometimes laughing is the only way to keep from screaming.

That said, your husband isn’t wrong for being upset. Grief is weird like that—what helps one person can feel like a knife to another. You two are on totally different wavelengths right now, and that’s okay, but you’ve gotta find a middle ground. Maybe keep the dark jokes for friends or your oldest kid, since he seems to get it.

Marcus’s not ready for that kind of humor, and pushing it on him isn’t fair. It doesn’t mean you’re wrong for coping that way, just that you gotta read the room. ... Click here to continue reading