I’m 26F, living with my partner, Jordan (29M). I’m white but was adopted by a Colombian family as a baby, so I grew up speaking Spanish fluently. These days, I mostly use English because, well, that’s just how life turned out. Jordan and I met in college six years ago—he’s from a super traditional Venezuelan family, way more intense than mine. We got engaged last fall, and honestly? I’ve only met his parents once. Meanwhile, he straight-up refuses to meet my adoptive parents.

No explanation, just… nada.

A few days ago, Jordan springs it on me that his parents want to talk. Cool, fine, whatever. We get there, do the usual greetings, sit down, and bam – his mom hits me with, “We want you to convert to [religion I won’t name] if you want our blessing to marry Jordan.” And guess what? Jordan nodded along. I was floored. He gets up to grab water, and his parents immediately start whispering in Spanish, thinking I wouldn’t catch it:

“She’s not good enough for him.”
“No way we’re giving our blessing.”
“She’ll just embarrass us.”

Jordan walks back in, and I nope out of there so fast.

Grabbed my keys, drove home crying, packed a bag, scooped up my dog, and now I’m crashing at my mom’s place. Radio silence from Jordan since.

So… AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ, not even a little. First off, the fact that they straight-up disrespected you in your face—thinking you wouldn’t understand—is wild. But let’s talk about Jordan for a sec. Dude didn’t warn you about the whole religion ultimatum? That’s shady as heck. And him refusing to meet your parents? Unless there’s some major trauma there (which you didn’t mention), that’s a glaring red flag.

Also, the way his parents talked about you?

That’s not just rude, it’s toxic. They didn’t even try to get to know you—they just decided you weren’t “right” based on… what, exactly? And Jordan agreed with them? Nah. You deserve someone who’s proud to be with you, not someone who lets their family trash you behind your back (or to your face, in another language).

Seriously, think hard about whether this is the kind of family you want to marry into. Because right now, it sounds like a lifetime of being told you’re not good enough.

Another User Comments:

Okay, hold up.

NTJ, obviously, but can we talk about the audacity here? They didn’t just ask you to convert—they assumed you wouldn’t understand their nasty little comments. That’s next-level disrespect. And Jordan? He’s either spineless or complicit. Either way, not husband material.

The parents thing is weird, too. Why won’t he meet your family? Unless they’re like, actual criminals (and even then, he should’ve said something), there’s no excuse. It feels like he’s trying to isolate you, whether he realizes it or not.

And let’s be real—if they’re this controlling now, imagine how they’ll be if you have kids.

You’ll be fighting over every holiday, every tradition, every little thing. Is that the future you want? Because from where I’m sitting, you dodged a bullet.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are missing the biggest red flag here: Jordan didn’t defend you. Not when they demanded you change your faith, not when they insulted you in Spanish. He just… sat there. That’s not a partner. That’s a bystander.

Also, the whole “won’t meet your parents” thing? Sketchy as heck. Unless there’s a darn good reason (like, they’re abusive or something), that’s a power move.

He’s saying your family doesn’t matter, but his does. That’s not how healthy relationships work.

Honestly? You’re better off without him. Find someone who’ll stand up for you, not someone who lets their family treat you like garbage.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but girl, run. This isn’t just about the parents—it’s about him. He showed you who he is: someone who cares more about his family’s approval than your feelings.

Think about it. He didn’t prepare you for the conversation. He didn’t stick up for you. He didn’t even try to understand why you’d be upset.

That’s not love. That’s control.

And the language thing? That’s just icing on the cake. They thought they could talk crap without consequences. Joke’s on them—you understood every word. Now use that same clarity to see Jordan for what he is: not worth your time.

So, I’m (28 F) getting married to my fiancé, Marcus (33 M), in a few months. Backstory time: we met when he was a client at the marketing firm I work at. We hit it off immediately, started going out, and four years later, he proposed during this super romantic weekend trip to the mountains. Wedding planning’s been wild, but I’m so excited—it’s happening this June!

Now, here’s the thing. Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted my best friend, Jordan (27 F), to walk me down the aisle.

We’ve been inseparable since elementary school—she was there for me when my parents weren’t, helped me through some really dark times, and honestly feels more like family than my actual family.

Cut to last week. My dad calls me all emotional like, “I can’t wait to walk you down the aisle!” And I just… froze. Then I said, “Actually, Jordan’s doing it.” Well, dude lost it. He immediately called my mom, and suddenly I’m getting bombarded with texts and calls about how I’m “humiliating” them. My dad even started crying, asking why I’d do this to him.

So I snapped.

“Maybe because my entire childhood, you were either inebriated or telling me and my brother how we weren’t good enough? Remember when I was eight and drew you that Father’s Day card? You looked at it and said, ‘Could’ve been better.’ Who does that?” They both started sobbing, but I just left. I’m so tired of them acting like they’ve earned this moment when they made my life heck for years.

AITJ for sticking to my guns on this?

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all. Your wedding, your rules. If your dad wanted the honor of walking you down the aisle, he should’ve acted like a father when it actually mattered.

It’s not about blood—it’s about who showed up for you. Jordan’s been your rock, and she absolutely deserves that role.

That said, be prepared for fallout. Weddings have a way of bringing out the worst in people, especially when traditions get flipped. Your parents might pull financial support if they’re helping, or guilt-trip you harder. But honestly? If they’re gonna make your wedding about their feelings after everything, maybe it’s better to know now. Stand your ground, OP. You’ve got every right to celebrate your day with the people who truly love you.

YTJ, but hear me out.

I get that your dad wasn’t perfect, but this tradition matters to him. It’s a symbolic gesture, and excluding him is gonna cause irreversible damage. Could you compromise? Maybe have Jordan and your dad walk you? Or let him do a reading or something? I’m not saying you owe him anything, but weddings are about bringing people together, not burning bridges. If you shut him out completely, you might regret it later. Family’s messy, but sometimes meeting them halfway is worth it.

NTJ, and wow, the audacity of your dad to act shocked. Like, sir, you spent years emotionally neglecting your kids and now you want a Hallmark moment?

Nah. Jordan earned that spot by actually being there for you. Also, the whole “father giving away the bride” thing is outdated anyway. It comes from when women were treated like property. If you wanna modernize it, having someone who actually supports you walk you makes way more sense. Your parents’ tears are just guilt talking. Don’t let them manipulate you.

Soft ESH. Your dad sucks for obvious reasons, but blowing up at him like that wasn’t the move. Weddings are emotional, but this could’ve been handled better. A calm conversation explaining why Jordan means so much to you might’ve gotten your point across without the drama.

That said, your feelings are valid. Just remember: this isn’t just about the aisle walk. It’s about your relationship with your parents long-term. If you’re okay with potentially nuking that, then go for it. But if you think there’s a chance for reconciliation, maybe don’t torch the bridge entirely.

NTJ, and I’m so sorry your parents are making this about them. Jordan sounds amazing, and she’s the obvious choice here. Your dad had decades to step up and be the parent you needed. He doesn’t get to demand a role in your wedding now just because it’s “expected.” Also, lol at the people saying “but tradition!” Traditions change.

If we stuck to every outdated wedding custom, brides would still be traded for livestock. Do what feels right for you, OP. Congrats on the wedding, and I hope it’s everything you’ve dreamed of—with Jordan by your side.

So I (24f) was supposed to be a bridesmaid in my best friend Tara’s (30f) wedding. We’ve been tight since I was in middle school—her family basically took me in as one of their own. The same goes for her fiancé, Lucas (32m), and his family. Our whole friend group, about nine of us, was supposed to be part of the wedding. We’ve all been inseparable for years.

Tara started planning the wedding in April of last year, and it was set for November this year.

I was all in—helping with decorations, dress shopping, you name it. But around December, I had to pick up a second job to cover some unexpected bills, so I couldn’t be as involved. I still showed up for the big stuff, just not every little planning session. We were even organizing a bachelorette trip as a surprise tribute to her dad, who passed away six years ago. Super emotional, super important.

Then, last month, I’m at work and get a notification that Lucas’s sister, Megan, posted a wedding video. I’m like, huh? Did I miss an update? I scrolled through all our group chats—nothing.

Then Lucas’s mom goes live during the actual wedding. I watched, thinking maybe it was a tiny family-only thing. Nope. Packed venue, tons of guests I’d never even seen before.

I’m crushed. Like, how do you just… cut someone out like that? When I told my mom, she said I was overreacting and needed to “let it go.” It’s been a month, and I’ve been avoiding everyone—bridal party, both families, all of it. No texts, no calls. AITJ for icing them out?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. This is wild. Tara didn’t just “forget” to tell you—she had to actively exclude you.

Think about it: she made a whole new group chat, told the entire wedding party, both families, and Lucas to keep it from you. That’s so many people coordinating to leave you in the dark. And she knew you’d see the posts. She didn’t care.

There’s no excuse for this. You don’t drop someone from your wedding—especially someone you’ve known for a decade—without a word. Have they even tried to explain? I get not answering calls, but if you’ve read the texts, what’s their excuse? “Oops, forgot you existed?” Nah.

This is deliberate, and it’s messed up.

Another User Comments:

ESH, but I get why you’re hurt. Ghosting everyone isn’t solving anything, though. You need to talk to Tara directly. Say you needed time to process because, yeah, this was a gut punch. Ask her why. There’s gotta be a reason, even if it’s a dumb one.

The fact that everyone kept this from you means something’s up. Either there’s a massive misunderstanding, or you were way more out of the loop than you realized. Maybe Tara felt slighted when you couldn’t help as much, or maybe she’s just a flake.

Either way, you won’t know until you ask.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. This is beyond weird. Weddings don’t just move dates last minute unless it’s an emergency. And since there were randos there, people knew about the change ahead of time.

I’d reach out casually—like, “Hey, saw the pics! How was the day? Why the sudden change?” You’ve got history, so there’s gotta be some explanation. Maybe it’s dumb, maybe it’s legit, but you won’t know unless you ask.

Another User Comments:

YTJ for ghosting, but only a little.

Look, I get it—this sucks. But shutting everyone out without hearing their side isn’t fair. What if there was a legit reason? Maybe Tara’s mom pressured her into a quick wedding, or maybe they eloped and the big wedding was just for show. You don’t know.

You’re hurting, and that’s valid. But if these people mean anything to you, give them a chance to explain. If their reason is trash, then you can ghost guilt-free.

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all. This wasn’t an accident—it was a choice. A mean one. You don’t accidentally exclude someone from a wedding they’re supposed to be in.

And the fact that your mom brushed it off? Oof.

That said, I’d text Tara one last time: “Hey, saw the wedding stuff. Really hurt you didn’t tell me. What happened?” If she ignores you or gives a weak excuse, block them all. Life’s too short for fake friends.

So, I’m Ava (28F), and I just moved in with my long-term partner, Eden (27F), who teaches guitar from home. I knew this was her job, and I was cool with it—at first. I figured, yeah, a few kids coming by after school, maybe some adults on weekends, no big deal. But holy crap, I had no idea she was teaching like 80 students a week. That’s not a side hustle; that’s a full-blown music factory operating out of our living room.

The noise is relentless.

Imagine trying to focus on work or just chill, and suddenly some 12-year-old is butchering “Smoke on the Water” for the tenth time in a row. Then, as soon as they leave, the next one walks in and starts fumbling through “Wonderwall.” It’s like living in a never-ending talent show where no one’s actually talented.

The worst part? Eden’s scheduling is a disaster. She double-books, forgets lessons, and acts surprised when students show up. Last night was the final straw. We planned this nice dinner date—she was making enchiladas, I was grabbing tres leches cake from this amazing bakery.

We sit down, take one bite, and bam—knock on the door. Turns out Eden forgot she booked a lesson during our date. She apologized, said she couldn’t cancel because the kid had already paid, and then just… left me alone with my cold enchiladas while she went to teach.

I lost it. After the lesson, I told her I’m sick of living in a revolving door of off-key guitar riffs and ruined plans. She said she’s overwhelmed too, but like… that’s not fixing anything? I stormed out and crashed at my best friend Taylor’s place. Taylor’s partner called me a jerk, and Taylor agreed.

Now I’m second-guessing myself. I love Eden, but I can’t live like this. Am I the jerk?

Another User Comments:

Okay, look, I get why you’re frustrated, but YTJ for how you handled it. Eden messed up, but she’s clearly swamped, and blowing up at her isn’t gonna magically fix her schedule. Teaching 80 students a week is insane—no wonder she’s forgetting stuff. And yeah, it sucks that your date got interrupted, but did you really think moving in with a music teacher would mean peace and quiet? That’s like going out with a chef and being shocked your kitchen’s always messy.

The real issue here is communication.

You two need to sit down and figure out boundaries. Maybe she caps her student count or sets strict “no lesson” hours so you can actually have uninterrupted time together. But yelling and storming out? That’s just adding drama to an already stressful situation. If you can’t handle the chaos of her job, that’s valid, but you gotta decide if this is a dealbreaker or not.

Another User Comments:

NTJ for being upset about the date—that’s totally fair. But YTJ for acting like this is some huge surprise. Did you not discuss what her teaching schedule would look like before moving in?

Eden’s job is literally having people in your space all the time. If you wanted a quiet home, this was never gonna work.

That said, Eden needs to get her act together. Forgetting a lesson during your date is unprofessional, and she’s clearly overworking herself. She could use a digital calendar, set firmer hours, or even hire someone to help manage bookings. But you also need to be realistic. If she’s not willing to change, and you’re not willing to deal with the noise, then this relationship might not be sustainable.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but softly. You’re not wrong for wanting boundaries, but the way you exploded wasn’t cool.

Eden’s job is chaotic, and she’s probably just as frustrated as you are. Instead of yelling, you could’ve said, “Hey, this isn’t working for me. Let’s figure out a solution together.”

Also, let’s be real—80 students is way too many. No one can keep up with that without burning out. Maybe she’s afraid to turn people down because she needs the money, but she’s gonna crash hard if she doesn’t scale back. You two need to have a calm conversation about expectations, or this’ll keep happening.

Another User Comments:

NTJ.

Everyone’s focusing on the yelling, but honestly, I’d lose my mind too if my partner constantly prioritized work over our time together. Eden’s disorganization is the real problem here. If she can’t keep track of her schedule, that’s on her, not you.

That said, you knew what her job was. If you can’t handle the noise and interruptions, you might not be compatible as live-in partners. But you’re not a jerk for wanting a functional home life.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but Eden’s also a little TJ. You overreacted, but she’s clearly not managing her workload well.

80 students? That’s unsustainable. She’s setting herself up for failure, and you’re getting the brunt of it.

Instead of blowing up, try approaching it like, “I love you, but this isn’t working for me. How can we fix it?” If she’s unwilling to compromise, then you’ve got a bigger problem. But screaming matches won’t solve anything.

My daughter, Nova (5F), has severe food intolerances—eating the wrong thing can land her in the hospital. It’s rough, and finding safe snacks that she actually likes is a nightmare.

At school, they have snack time where kids bring their own food. After months of searching, I finally found this fun, allergy-friendly snack online that Nova loves. It’s a bit tricky to open (even I struggle sometimes), but she’s been taking it to school for weeks without issue.

Then, on Tuesday, I noticed the snack was still in her bag, untouched.

When I asked Nova why, she said it was too hard to open. Turns out, her teacher, Ms. Taylor, used to help her but stopped. I told Nova to ask for help the next day.

Wednesday rolls around—same thing. Unopened snack. Nova said Ms. Taylor told her she “needs to learn to open snacks by herself.” Okay, fine, independence is important, but come on. I emailed Ms. Taylor, politely explaining that this snack is tough even for adults and asked if she could help Nova when needed. Otherwise, she’s going eight hours with only lunch. I was nice, but honestly? It ticked me off that she’d rather let a 5-year-old sit there hungry while everyone else eats.

Thursday—still no snack.

At this point, I called Ms. Taylor. She doubled down, saying the “last few months of Kindergarten are about independence” and that she “can’t hold their hands forever.” Then she suggested I send a “normal” snack instead of a “bizarre, difficult one.” She knows about Nova’s allergies.

I thanked her (through gritted teeth) and called the principal, Mr. Beckett. I asked to move Nova to another class, explaining how inappropriate it was to call her snacks “not normal” when she literally can’t eat regular food. I wish I could just toss her a bag of Goldfish like the other kids, but that’s not an option.

Nova got moved, but Ms.

Taylor sent me this passive-aggressive message about how I’ve “made things difficult over a snack.” Apparently, the school’s now investigating her interactions with kids. Two moms in the group chat (who are closer to her than I am) said it’s “completely unfair” and that “teachers shouldn’t have to deal with a kid’s food issues.”

So, AITJ? Should I have just sent a different snack?

Another User Comments:

Absolutely NTJ. This isn’t just about a snack—it’s about basic decency. If the teacher’s so obsessed with independence, why not teach the kids how to open tricky packaging instead of just refusing to help?

Also, calling an allergy-friendly snack “bizarre” is wildly unprofessional. Your kid has medical needs, and dismissing them like that is gross.

And let’s talk about those moms siding with the teacher. If they’re so pressed about “fairness,” maybe they should imagine their kid sitting hungry while everyone else eats. Bet they’d change their tune real quick. The fact that the school launched an investigation tells me this isn’t the first complaint about Ms. Taylor. You didn’t overreact—you advocated for your kid.

Another User Comments:

I’m a preschool teacher, and this makes me furious.

Yes, we encourage independence, but we also help when kids struggle. Five-year-olds don’t magically become self-sufficient because we refuse to assist them—they just feel frustrated and defeated.

Also, the “normal snack” comment? Yikes. Kids with dietary restrictions already feel left out; the last thing they need is a teacher reinforcing that. You were right to move Nova. And if the school’s investigating, that’s on Ms. Taylor, not you.

Another User Comments:

Okay, unpopular opinion, but ESH. The teacher was out of line with the “bizarre” comment, but you could’ve sent a simpler snack. There are plenty of allergy-friendly options that are easy to open.

I get that you wanted Nova to have something fun, but if it’s causing this much drama, maybe switch to something more practical?

That said, the teacher’s attitude sucks. Independence is important, but so is not letting a kid starve.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and those moms can kick rocks. Since when is feeding a child optional? If the teacher can’t handle basic accommodations, she shouldn’t be working with little kids. And the investigation is her fault—if she’s being monitored, it’s because she’s done other questionable stuff.

Also, the “normal snack” thing is low-key ableist.

Would she say that to a diabetic kid with special snacks? Doubt it.

Another User Comments:

Former teacher here. This is appalling. Hungry kids can’t focus, and denying a child food because of some rigid “independence” rule is cruel. The fact that Ms. Taylor involved other parents to guilt-trip you is wildly unprofessional.

You didn’t just move Nova over a snack—you moved her because her teacher lacked empathy. And if the school’s investigating, that’s a good thing. Bad teachers need consequences.

So my MIL, Catherine, is in town this week. We live in different states, so we don’t see each other often. My partner, Oliver, had to work late, so Catherine and I made plans for just the two of us to grab dinner and catch up.

On my way to the restaurant, she calls me out of the blue and says, “Hey, just so you know, my friend Vincent is joining us!” Okay, cool, no big deal. I’ve met Vincent a couple times when visiting Oliver’s hometown—seemed like a decent enough guy.

I get there, and Catherine and Vincent are already seated.

We order, and everything’s going fine… until it becomes very obvious they’re not just friends. Like, they’re sharing bites off each other’s plates, whispering, the whole deal. Honestly? Good for her. Catherine’s been single Oliver’s entire life, so if she’s happy, I’m happy.

Dinner wraps up, and as we’re leaving, Catherine pulls me aside and says, “Hey, can you keep Vincent being here between us? I want to tell Oliver about us myself.” I nod, give her a hug, and then—because I’m a polite idiot—I go to hug Vincent goodbye.

And this man full-on wet-kisses my ear.

Like, what the actual heck? I was so shocked I just froze, said goodbye, and bolted to my Uber. The whole ride home, I’m sitting there like, Did that just happen?

Oliver asks how dinner was when I get home, and I hate lying to him, but I just say, “Yeah, it was nice!” and change the subject. Here’s the thing though: Catherine’s been here a week and didn’t mention Vincent until I was literally driving to dinner. She left early this morning, and we don’t have plans to see her again anytime soon.

I want to be honest with Oliver.

I don’t like keeping secrets, especially not when some rando is out here slobbering on my ear. Plus, Oliver’s younger siblings still live at home, and if Vincent’s pulling weird stuff like that, I’d want Oliver to know before Catherine brings him around the kids.

WIBTJ if I broke my promise and told Oliver the truth?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Look, Catherine had no business dragging you into her secret relationship drama. If she wasn’t ready for her kids to know about Vincent, she shouldn’t have brought him to dinner with you—Oliver’s partner. That’s just common sense.

As for the ear kiss?

Blech. That’s not just weird, it’s borderline inappropriate. You don’t go around kissing people’s ears unless you’re very close, and even then, it’s gross if it’s wet. I’d give Catherine a heads-up: “Hey, I’m not comfortable keeping this from Oliver. If you don’t tell him by [reasonable deadline], I will.”

Your marriage comes before her secrecy. And if Vincent’s behavior was skeevy enough to make you uncomfortable, Oliver deserves to know—especially if there are minors in the picture.

Another User Comments:

Yikes. ESH, but mostly Catherine and Vincent.

Catherine for putting you in this position in the first place.

If she wanted to keep things under wraps, she should’ve kept Vincent away from you. Now you’re stuck lying to your partner, which isn’t fair.

Vincent for… well, existing like that. Who does that? Even if it was a “cultural thing” or whatever excuse people might throw out, it’s still gross if you didn’t consent to it.

You’re slightly the jerk for agreeing to keep the secret, but I get it—it was a weird, awkward moment. Next time, shut it down right away: “I’m not keeping secrets from Oliver, so if you’re not ready for him to know, Vincent shouldn’t be here.”

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but you need to tell Oliver ASAP.

First, the ear kiss is not okay.

At best, it’s a bizarre social misstep. At worst, it’s a red flag for boundary issues. Either way, Oliver should know, especially if Vincent might be around his siblings.

Second, Catherine’s secrecy is unfair. She had days to mention Vincent, but she waited until the last second and then made you complicit in her lie. That’s not cool.

Give her a chance to come clean if you want, but don’t wait forever. Your loyalty is to your partner, not his mom’s love life.

Another User Comments:

Honestly? I’d be petty and tell Oliver immediately.

Catherine didn’t just ask you to keep a secret—she made you lie to your partner’s face.

That’s a huge overstep. And Vincent’s behavior? Nope. Nope. Nope.

If Catherine wanted control over how this info got out, she shouldn’t have involved you. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Another User Comments:

Soft YTJ for agreeing to lie in the first place.

I get it—it was a tense moment, and you didn’t want to cause drama. But lying to your partner, even by omission, is never a good idea.

That said, Catherine is the real problem here. She sprung Vincent on you, made you cover for her, and now you’re stuck in this mess. Tell Oliver the truth, but also have a conversation about boundaries with Catherine.

She doesn’t get to dictate what you share with your own partner.

So, my partner, Zander, and I were supposed to go camping with his two best buddies, Brennan and Darren, plus Darren’s partner, Avery, to celebrate Zander’s birthday. For weeks, Zander kept saying it wasn’t looking good because he couldn’t find a babysitter for his two kids. Then, out of nowhere last night, he hits me with, “Hey, since I can’t find a sitter, would you mind watching my kids plus your daughter for the whole weekend so I can still go with the guys?”

And then he drops this gem: “It came down to hurting my friends or hurting you, and I chose you because I know you’ll understand.” Oh, and of course, the classic, “I’ll make it up to you,” with a side of half-hearted apologies.

I told him I was upset that he’d rather ditch me than disappoint his friends, and his response?

“I thought you’d want to help me! We love each other, don’t we?” Like, dude, I hadn’t even said no yet—I was just telling him how messed up it was that he assumed I’d be cool with this. I figured if he couldn’t find a sitter, neither of us would go. You know, like normal couples do?

But no. When he told Brennan and Darren I was upset and might bail, Darren actually said, “Why is she mad? I took time off work for this!”

Am I crazy for being furious that Zander sees nothing wrong with ditching our plans so he can go party with his friends while I’m stuck babysitting three kids under six?

He’s acting shocked that I’m not jumping at the chance to do this for him. And then, the next day, he dumped me. Cool.

Another User Comments:
NTJ, and honestly, this is such a common pattern it’s almost predictable. Guys like Zander pull this stuff all the time—especially when they’re single moms. There’s this gross assumption that single mothers should be totally fine taking on extra childcare for their partner’s kids because “relationships take work.”

He’s banking on you panicking at the idea of losing him, so when he inevitably crawls back with some half-baked apology, you’ll fold and accept whatever crumbs he throws your way.

But let’s be real—what kind of person plans a trip during their own custody time and then dumps the responsibility on their partner? Oh right, the kind who thinks their fun is more important than anyone else’s time or energy.

Honestly, the trash took itself out.

Another User Comments:
I was gonna say you should’ve dumped him first, but he saved you the trouble.

Like, I get it’s his birthday, and yeah, he can spend it how he wants. But he’s the one who made plans with you first. He’s the one who promised you’d go together.

And let’s be real—he probably didn’t even try that hard to find a babysitter. If he’d actually put in effort, he wouldn’t have waited until the last minute to guilt-trip you into solving his problem.

The fact that he framed it as “hurting you vs. hurting his friends” says everything. He sees you as the path of least resistance because he assumes you’ll just suck it up. Newsflash: Partners don’t get to unilaterally decide who bears the burden of their poor planning.

Another User Comments:
NTJ. He 100% never seriously looked for a babysitter. He kept bringing it up for weeks because he was hoping you’d volunteer to stay home so he could go.

When you didn’t, he switched to outright demanding it.

Here’s the thing—he cares more about his friends’ reactions than yours because he thinks they’ll ditch him if he inconveniences them, but you? You’re supposed to just take whatever he dishes out because “love.” And when he realized you wouldn’t roll over, he bailed. Good riddance.

Another User Comments:
Okay, hot take: ESH.

Yeah, Zander’s being a selfish jerk, but you’re not totally innocent either. You assumed that if he couldn’t find a sitter, neither of you would go, but did you actually say that to him?

Or did you just expect him to read your mind? Communication goes both ways.

That said, his whole “I chose to hurt you” line is manipulative as heck, and his friends sound like entitled tools. But if you two had talked this out sooner—like, before he was scrambling last-minute—maybe it wouldn’t have blown up like this.

Still, breaking up over it is extreme. Either he’s got the emotional maturity of a potato, or there were bigger issues already.

Another User Comments:
Y’all are missing the real issue here: Zander’s friends.

Darren whining about taking time off work?

Brennan just sitting there while Zander dumps this on you? These dudes are enabling his nonsense. If they were decent people, one of them would’ve said, “Hey man, if you can’t find a sitter, we’ll reschedule.” But no—they’re fine letting you take the hit so their fun isn’t ruined.

Zander’s a flake, but his friends are just as bad. You dodged a whole group of losers.

Okay, so I’m Casey (29f), living in a UK terrace house—pretty standard stuff. When I first moved in, the place next door was empty because of renovations. Fast forward six weeks, and a couple, Jordan and Riley, moved in with their baby. We’ve exchanged a few “hellos” and “how’s it going”s, but that’s it. Not friends, just polite neighbors.

Now, here’s the thing: I’m a quiet person. Like, really quiet.

I don’t blast music, I don’t have loud parties, nada. But next door? It’s like living inside a baby-monitor broadcast. The soundproofing (or lack thereof) is insane. I don’t hear normal conversations, but anything louder than a whisper? Crystal clear. My other neighbor, Blake, might as well be a ghost—I only hear his front door if I’m in my living room.

The problem? The baby. Look, I get it—babies cry. But this kid? It’s next-level. We’re talking all-day screaming sessions. I’m talking wake-up-at-7am-to-a-shrieking-soundtrack, still-going-at-midnight kind of deal. I’ve been coping with headphones, but here’s the kicker: I WFH two days a week (they know this—I’ve taken packages for them).

My job is basically back-to-back Zoom calls and client chats. The only quiet room in my place is the upstairs back bedroom… which, surprise, shares a wall with the baby’s room.

So yeah, my clients can hear the baby through my noise-canceling headphones. I’ve gotten everything from “Uh, is everything okay over there?” to “Maybe reschedule when it’s quieter?” It’s mortifying and distracting.

Yesterday, after another day of baby-induced Zoom chaos, I knocked on their door. I was super polite—just asked if, when the baby’s having a meltdown, they could maybe move it to another room for a bit so I could work.

Riley lost it. Called me selfish, entitled, said I had no idea how hard being a mom is, and that she leaves the baby upstairs to get a break from the crying. Then she slammed the door in my face.

I’m torn. I know babies cry. I know it’s exhausting. But I’m not asking for silence—just less noise during work hours. Was I out of line here?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, NAH. This is just a crappy situation all around. You weren’t wrong to ask, but I totally get why Riley snapped. Sleep deprivation is no joke—it’s literally used as torture.

When you’re running on empty and someone (even nicely) asks you to do more when you’re already drowning, it’s gonna set you off.

That said, her reaction was over the top. But here’s the thing: leaving the baby in a safe space to cry is sometimes the only thing a parent can do to keep their sanity. Shaken baby syndrome is a real risk when caregivers hit their breaking point. She might’ve been in survival mode.

The baby could have colic (peaks around 6-8 weeks) or an allergy. Either way, this phase will pass. For now, though, your best bet is to find another workspace—maybe a coworking spot or a library.

Soundproofing your side isn’t a bad idea either, but I get that’s not always possible in rentals. Hang in there.

YTJ, sorry. Look, I’ve been the parent of a colicky baby. It’s heck. There’s nothing you can do to make it stop. No amount of rocking, shushing, or begging will silence that scream. Riley’s probably at her wit’s end, and your request—while reasonable on paper—probably felt like a personal attack.

You’re not wrong for being frustrated, but expecting a sleep-deprived mom to rearrange her life around your work schedule is a big ask.

Noise-canceling headphones are a start, but tweak your mic settings too—most apps let you adjust sensitivity so it doesn’t pick up background noise.

Also, terrace living means accepting some noise. If you need absolute silence, maybe WFH isn’t the best setup for you right now.

NAH, but leaning toward your neighbor being slightly more in the wrong. Yeah, babies cry, but that doesn’t mean you should have to suffer through it 24/7. Asking to move the baby to another room during work hours isn’t unreasonable—it’s not like you demanded they muzzle the kid.

That said, Riley’s reaction, while harsh, probably came from pure exhaustion.

Doesn’t excuse it, but context matters. Still, she could’ve just said, “I’ll try, but no promises,” instead of going nuclear.

Have you considered white noise machines? Or even talking to your landlord about soundproofing? This feels like a building issue as much as a neighbor issue.

YTJ, but softly. You’re not a monster, but you’re missing perspective. Babies are loud, and colic is a nightmare. Riley’s not ignoring the baby to spite you—she’s doing what she can to stay sane.

If you rent in a family-friendly area, you’ve gotta expect kid noise.

It’s like moving next to a bar and complaining about music. Could she have handled it better? Sure. But you’re asking her to control the uncontrollable.

Try working from a café or investing in better headphones. And maybe drop off a coffee for her one morning—small gestures go a long way.

NTJ. Look, I’m a parent, and I’d never let my kid’s crying disrupt someone else’s work if I could help it. Yeah, babies cry, but Riley’s refusal to even try moving the baby to another room is inconsiderate. Her stress doesn’t give her a free pass to be rude.

That said, terrace houses are notoriously thin-walled.

Maybe suggest splitting the cost of soundproofing? Or see if your employer will cover a coworking space. Either way, you’re not wrong for wanting a functional workspace.