People Say These 'Am I The Jerk?' Stories Are A Whole New Level Of Messy

I’m Amelia (F36), married to my husband, Marcus (M41), for 12 years now. We’ve got a blended family—my two daughters, Clara (16) and Ivy (18), his son, Liam (20) from his first marriage, and our two younger ones, Ruby (10) and Finn (5). Things were okay until last October when Liam did something unforgivable to my girls. We had full custody of him, but after that, he moved back with his mom, who lives like 1,600 miles away. Charges got dropped (ugh), but at least he’s gone. We also cut off Marcus’s sister, Courtney (46), because she straight-up told him to abandon my kids and support Liam instead.

Fast forward to November.

Marcus’s great-aunt passed away, and Courtney was supposed to tell us when the funeral was. She didn’t. Marcus only found out because his cousin texted him last-minute asking if he was coming. We live three hours away, so no way we could make it. Right after the funeral, Marcus’s mom, Beatrice, had a heart attack and got airlifted to the hospital. Even though they don’t talk much—Marcus hates how she’s lived her life—he still rushed to be there. Courtney showed up hours later, after Beatrice was out of surgery, and immediately started yelling at Marcus, calling him selfish and hateful. He just left.

Some context: Courtney’s always been jealous. Marcus worked his butt off to get out of their crappy upbringing—think poverty, neglect, the works. Courtney? She’s happy living off welfare and making snide comments like, “Must be nice to have money.” We’re not rich, just stable.

A week later, Beatrice had a stroke. Marcus went back to the hospital. Courtney rolled in five hours after him and started demanding Marcus move Beatrice in with us because “we can afford it.” Yeah, no. He walked out and went no-contact again.

Then, a month ago, Courtney calls Marcus crying.

She’s a type 1 diabetic who never took care of herself, and now her kidneys and heart are failing. Doctors gave her a year. They kinda made up, which… fine, whatever.

Last night, Courtney calls asking if Ruby has birthday plans. Marcus tells her, then asks me if she can come. I said absolutely not. He tried the whole “she’s dying, this might be her last chance” thing. I reminded him of every awful thing she’s done—defending Liam, the hospital drama, the constant digs. I told him he could take a weekend trip to see her with the little kids, but no way was she coming here.

He didn’t like that. He just wants to “get it over with” at the party, but I know Courtney. She’ll bring drama, negativity, and zero apologies.

So, AITJ for putting my foot down?

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all. You offered a fair compromise—your husband can see her separately. Courtney doesn’t get to waltz back into your lives on her terms, especially after everything. Dying doesn’t erase years of toxicity. If she really wants to make amends, she should respect your boundaries and take what she can get. You’re protecting your kids and your peace, and that’s way more important than her guilt-tripping.

Also, the fact that she defended Liam after what he did?

Heck no. That alone would’ve sealed it for me. Your husband might feel obligated because she’s sick, but that doesn’t mean you have to subject yourself or your kids to her nonsense. Stay firm.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but softly. Look, I get it—Courtney sounds like a nightmare. But she’s dying. This isn’t about whether she “deserves” to be there; it’s about whether your husband will regret not giving her this chance later. You don’t have to forgive her, but is one afternoon at a kid’s party really the hill to die on?

That said, if you’re sure she’ll start drama, then yeah, keep her away.

But if there’s even a small chance she’ll behave, maybe let your husband have this. Grief makes people do weird things, and he might need closure.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, your husband needs a reality check. Courtney didn’t care about your family until she needed something. Where was this energy when she was trashing you guys or siding with Liam? Dying doesn’t magically make someone a good person.

You’re not keeping her from Marcus—you’re just keeping her away from your kids and your home. That’s completely reasonable. If he wants to see her, he can go alone.

But inviting her into your safe space? After everything? Nope.

Another User Comments:

ESH. Courtney’s obviously the worst, but you’re kinda punishing your husband for her behavior. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place—his sister’s dying, and his wife won’t budge. Yeah, Courtney sucks, but is this really worth the tension in your marriage?

Maybe set super strict rules if she comes. Like, one wrong comment and she’s out. But outright banning her might cause more problems long-term.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking otherwise. Courtney had years to apologize and change.

She didn’t. Now that she’s sick, she wants a free pass? Nah.

Your kids come first. They don’t need her negativity, especially after what Liam did. Your husband can visit her separately if it’s that important to him, but your daughter’s birthday shouldn’t be overshadowed by Courtney’s drama. Stay strong.

I’ve been running a home daycare for over a decade now, and let me tell you, I’ve seen it all. But this situation? This one’s a doozy.

About two months ago, a new mom, Elena, enrolled her 18‐month‐old daughter, Emily. Now, Emily is always dressed to the nines—frilly dresses, tiny tights, those fancy little shoes that look like they belong in a boutique window. Half the time, the outfits have designer tags still attached.

From day one, I made it clear: Kids get dirty here.

We use smocks for messy activities, bibs for meals, but let’s be real—toddlers are basically tiny tornadoes of chaos. Paint finds a way. Dirt finds a way. Sand? Oh, sand gets everywhere. I told Elena straight up: Dress her however you want, but those clothes won’t stay pristine. I think she thought I was exaggerating.

Cut to day three. We’re doing finger painting (because, you know, toddlers), and even with a smock, Emily somehow ends up with blue handprints on her dress. Elena loses it. I remind her—again—that play clothes are the way to go. She snaps back that it’s my job to keep her kid spotless.

Then there’s the shoe drama.

Emily’s little patent leather shoes are not playground‐friendly. She trips, she slips, she can’t run around like the other kids. I bring it up, and Elena brushes me off: She’ll be fine. Fast forward to the first scuff mark, and suddenly it’s a crisis.

Here’s where I made my move. I’ve got a stash of donated clothes—comfy leggings, soft tees, actual play shoes—so I started changing Emily into them when she arrives. At pickup, she goes back into her fancy outfits, clean and untouched. I didn’t tell Elena. Didn’t see the harm—kid’s happy, clothes are safe, everyone wins.

Until Friday.

I upload the weekly photos to the parent app, and bam—Elena’s on the phone within minutes, furious. Why is my daughter in those rags? I explain the system. She accuses me of overstepping. I stand my ground: Either dress her for playtime, or this is how it’s gonna be.

Her husband, Andrew, is quietly on my side. He thinks Elena’s being extra and will chill out eventually. My own husband, though? Says I crossed a line. Her kid, her rules. So, Reddit, am I the jerk here?

Another User Comments:

Nah, you’re totally in the right here. Emily’s a toddler—she doesn’t care if she’s wearing Gucci or Walmart.

She cares about squishing paint between her fingers and eating sand (because let’s be real, they all do it). Elena’s treating her kid like a doll, not a human being who needs to move and explore. You gave fair warning, and when the fancy clothes kept getting wrecked, you found a solution that actually works. If Elena wants a pristine kid, she should hire a nanny to follow Emily around with a wet wipe. Daycare is for play, not fashion shows.

And let’s talk about those shoes. Dress shoes on a playground? That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen. If Emily face‐plants because she can’t grip the ground, guess who’s getting blamed?

You. You’re protecting that kid and yourself. Elena needs a reality check—kids are messy. That’s, like, their whole thing.

Another User Comments:

Okay, hot take: ESH. Hear me out.

Elena’s being unreasonable, no question. But you did change her kid’s clothes without telling her. That’s a boundary cross, even if your intentions were good. Some parents are weirdly attached to outfits—maybe it’s a sentimental thing, maybe it’s a control thing, who knows. But you should’ve looped her in before making the switch. A quick, “Hey, Emily’s clothes keep getting ruined, so unless you send her in play clothes, I’ll have to change her,” would’ve gone a long way.

That said, Elena’s reaction was over the top.

Freaking out over clean clothes? Come on. And her husband’s low‐key enabling by not stepping in sooner. Either way, this could’ve been avoided with better communication on both sides.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. At all.

I worked in daycare for years, and parents like Elena are exhausting. They want their kid to look perfect 24/7 but also want them to have the full “messy, fun childhood” experience. Pick a lane, lady. You were upfront about the mess. You gave her options. She ignored you. What else were you supposed to do? Let Emily ruin $200 dresses daily?

And the audacity to say it’s your job to keep her clean?

Nah. Your job is to keep her safe and help her learn. If Elena wants a spotless kid, she can keep her at home. Daycare is where kids live, not where they pose for Instagram.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are missing the bigger issue here: Emily’s comfort.

Those frilly dresses and stiff shoes? Probably annoying as heck for a toddler. Kids that age wanna roll, crawl, climb—not worry about ripping lace. You’re doing that kid a favor by letting her wear comfy clothes. Elena’s prioritizing her own aesthetic over her daughter’s ability to be a kid. That’s messed up.

And the fact that Andrew is on your side says a lot.

Dude’s probably tired of the laundry bills. Keep doing what you’re doing. Emily’s lucky to have you.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn.

On one hand, I get why Elena’s mad—no parent wants to feel like they’re being undermined. But on the other hand… come on. You’re not swapping her kid’s clothes for funsies. You’re solving a problem she refused to address. If she’d just sent Emily in play clothes, none of this would’ve happened.

Maybe compromise? Offer to send daily pics of Emily in her play clothes so Elena can see she’s happy.

Or suggest she keep a set of “daycare‐only” outfits there. But if she still refuses? Then she’s just being difficult for the sake of it.

I’m Ben (29 M), and my son, Liam (11 M), has been begging to go to Disney for years. My current partner, Tina, and I finally saved up enough to make it happen. We were all hyped—this was supposed to be the trip of a lifetime. But here’s the kicker: co-parenting with my ex, Sandra, has been a nightmare because she spoils Liam rotten. Kid’s never heard the word “no” without it turning into World War III. Lately, it’s gotten worse—full-on meltdowns, screaming, the whole nine yards.

Fast-forward to the big day.

We’re at the park, lines are insane (shocker), and Liam’s already grumbling about the wait. We finally get this close to boarding Space Mountain when Tina starts looking rough. She’s got diabetes, and her blood sugar was tanking—she needed food, stat. She told me to stay with Liam and ride, but I’ve seen her crash hard before, so no way was I risking it. I apologized to Liam and said we’d come back later, but we had to get Tina food first.

Cue the meltdown. First, it was whining. Then full-blown screaming. People are staring, Tina’s mortified, and Liam throws himself on the ground, kicking and yelling that we have to ride right now.

I ended up carrying him out like a sack of potatoes while he flailed like I was kidnapping him. Got Tina food, she recovered, and the second she was okay, Liam started demanding we go back. I was upset.

I told him after that stunt, he wasn’t riding anything else until he apologized to me and Tina. His response? “I’ll tell Mom!” Cool, buddy, I don’t care. We went back to the hotel. Now he’s giving me the silent treatment, Sandra’s blowing up my phone calling me a monster, and Tina feels guilty like it’s her fault.

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

“Look, I get why you’re frustrated, but dude, you set this kid up to fail. You know he’s spoiled. You know he can’t handle disappointment. And yet you took him to Disney, the literal capital of overstimulation and delayed gratification, and expected him to just roll with it when you yanked him out of line last second? Come on.

Yeah, Tina’s health is important, but why wasn’t she carrying snacks? A glucose gel? Something? Diabetics know Disney’s a marathon, not a sprint. And yeah, Liam’s tantrum was over the top, but he’s eleven—his brain’s still cooking.

You basically handed him a lit firework and acted shocked when it blew up.

Punishing him by ditching the whole trip? Harsh. You could’ve taken a breather, calmed him down, and tried again later. Instead, you turned a teachable moment into a power struggle. YTJ, but softly, because this was a no-win situation you kinda walked into.”

Another User Comments:

“Nah, NTJ. Kid’s eleven, not five. Throwing himself on the ground? Screaming? That’s ridiculous. Sandra’s clearly failed at teaching him basic respect, and you’re stuck cleaning up the mess.

Tina’s health isn’t negotiable. If she’s crashing, you go.

End of story. Liam’s old enough to understand “emergency,” even if he’s upset. And honestly, letting him ride after that behavior would’ve just reinforced that tantrums = getting his way.

Could you have handled it smoother? Maybe. But parents aren’t robots. Sometimes you snap. The fact that you didn’t just cave to his demands shows you’re actually trying to parent, unlike Sandra. Stick to your guns.”

Another User Comments:

“ESH. You, for not prepping better. Tina, for not having emergency snacks. Liam, for the tantrum. Sandra, for raising a kid who thinks tantrums work.

Disney’s a lot for any kid, especially one used to getting whatever he wants.

You had to know this would happen. And yeah, Tina’s health comes first, but pulling him right before the ride? That’s brutal. Could’ve swapped places with another adult in line or something.

Punishing him by leaving? Overkill. He’s a kid. You’re the adult. Act like one. Everyone here needs to grow up.”

Another User Comments:

“YTJ, but not for the reason you think.

You’re blaming Sandra for spoiling Liam, but you raised him too. Where were your boundaries before this? If he’s been like this for years, why’s it only a problem now?

And Disney?

Really? You threw him into the most overwhelming environment possible knowing he can’t handle disappointment. Then you acted shocked when he… couldn’t handle disappointment.

Tina’s health is important, but this whole thing reeks of poor planning. You owe Liam an apology—not for leaving the line, but for setting him up to fail.”

Another User Comments:

“Honestly? NAH.

Kid was overwhelmed. You were stressed. Tina was sick. Disney’s a pressure cooker even on a good day.

Yeah, Liam’s behavior sucked, but he’s a kid in a high-emotion situation. You did what you had to for Tina, which was right, but punishing him after the fact instead of addressing it in the moment?

Meh.

Next time, pack snacks, take breaks, and talk to the kid before he melts down. This was a learning experience for everyone.”

My mom married my stepdad, Victor, about three years back. Victor’s got two daughters, Emma (14) and Sophia (10), and honestly? They’re awesome. I don’t even think of them as stepsisters—they’re just my sisters at this point. My brother, though? Yeah, that’s a whole mess. His name’s Noah, he’s 17, and he’s never gotten over the fact that our mom moved on after our bio dad, Sterling, turned out to be a real piece of work (being unfaithful, lying, the whole package).

Noah refuses to call Victor “Dad,” which, fine, I guess—but he goes out of his way to refer to Emma and Sophia as “Victor’s kids” like they’re strangers.

He’s been grounded more times than I can count because he straight-up ignores Victor’s rules, and he’s made it crystal clear he doesn’t care about the girls. Like, he’s said to my face that when he’s older and has his own family, they won’t be part of it.

I hit my limit over winter break. I told him if he doesn’t see Emma and Sophia as his sisters, then I’m not his sister either. Harsh? Maybe. But I was done pretending this was just some phase. I also told mom and Victor I’m skipping spring break this year, and unless Noah pulls his head out of his butt and apologizes, I’m not dealing with him.

Well, guess what?

Noah decided to bail and move in with Sterling. At 17, the courts don’t really stop you, so off he went. Part of me thinks, “Good, go be miserable with the guy who abandoned us.” But mom’s wrecked over it. I don’t think I was wrong, but maybe I pushed too hard.

Another User Comments:
Dude, you messed up big time. You and Noah had totally different experiences with this whole blended family thing. You were older when Victor came into the picture, so it was easier for you to adjust. Noah was what, 14? That’s a rough age to have your entire life flipped upside down—new town, new school, new “Dad,” new siblings.

And instead of giving him space to process, your family spent years punishing him for not falling in line.
What you said to him? Brutal. Telling him you’re not his sister unless he accepts your stepsisters? That’s emotional blackmail, plain and simple. He’s allowed to feel how he feels, even if it’s not the same as you. And let’s be real, forcing him to call Victor “Dad” or pretend he loves Emma and Sophia was never gonna work. You can’t bully someone into loving people.

Another User Comments:
Nah, you’re not wrong. Noah’s being a brat.

I get that change is hard, but he’s had three years to adjust, and instead, he’s acting like a moody toddler. Refusing to even acknowledge Emma and Sophia as part of the family? That’s just petty.
And moving in with Sterling? That’s his choice, but let’s not pretend it’s some noble stand. The guy was being unfaithful on your mom and dipped out—real father of the year material. If Noah wants to hitch his wagon to that train wreck, fine, but he doesn’t get to play the victim when he’s the one burning bridges.
Your mom’s upset, and that sucks, but she shouldn’t have to tiptoe around Noah’s tantrums forever. Sometimes you gotta draw a line, and you did. Maybe it’ll wake him up.

Another User Comments:
YTJ, no question. You’re acting like Noah’s feelings are some personal attack on you, but they’re not. He doesn’t owe Victor or his daughters anything. Blended families are complicated, and not everyone bonds the same way.
And the grounding thing? That’s insane. Punishing a kid for not calling someone “Dad” or for not faking sibling love? That’s a surefire way to make him hate everyone involved. Your mom and Victor created this mess by forcing the issue instead of letting things happen naturally.
Now Noah’s left, and honestly?

Good for him. He removed himself from a toxic environment. You wanna salvage this? Start by apologizing and respecting his boundaries.

Another User Comments:
I’m torn. On one hand, Noah’s being stubborn, but on the other, your family handled this all wrong. You can’t force a relationship, and grounding him for not playing happy family was a terrible move.
That said, your ultimatum was too much. You don’t get to dictate how he feels, and cutting him off unless he conforms is just as bad as what your parents did. You all need therapy, not more drama.

Another User Comments:
Noah’s 17.

He’s not a little kid, but he’s also not fully mature. Yeah, he’s being difficult, but think about it—his whole life changed overnight, and instead of support, he got rules and punishments.
You’re not wrong for wanting him to be decent to Emma and Sophia, but you went nuclear. There’s a middle ground between “pretend we’re one big happy family” and “I’m disowning you.” Find it.

So my mom just bought a used Toyota Tacoma from some guy two towns over. She surprised me by offering it as a combo birthday/graduation gift, which was awesome. Originally, she said she’d only spend $8k on my first car, but she went up to $13.5k for this one. The deal was she’d cover the first $8k, and I’d pay her back the remaining $5.5k in biweekly chunks, plus handle gas and registration. Totally fair, right? I was stoked.

Here’s where it gets messy.

My stepdad doesn’t technically own a car—even though my mom basically bought him a Jeep last year. But lately, he’s been eyeballing my truck like it’s his personal ride. Dude’s got a habit of chain-smoking in his Jeep and leaving it looking like a landfill. Meanwhile, my Tacoma was just detailed, and I haven’t even driven it yet because the dealer plates are still on.

Yesterday, I hopped in to move it while shoveling snow, and bam—the seats reeked of smoke, the cupholders were full of ash, and there were fast-food wrappers everywhere. I told my mom I didn’t want my stepdad driving it if he was gonna treat it like a dumpster.

Cue my stepdad calling me an “ungrateful brat” and my mom shrugging it off. Now I’m tempted to hide the keys, but AITJ here?

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all. This is your car, or at least it’s going to be yours once you finish paying it off. My stepdad didn’t contribute a dime, so he has zero right to treat it like his personal trash can. Smoking in someone else’s car is gross, especially when they’ve asked you not to.

I’d sit my mom down without my stepdad around and lay it out: “Hey, this was supposed to be my gift, but it feels like my stepdad’s the one benefiting.

I’m paying for something I can’t even enjoy.” If she brushes you off again, that’s a red flag. Maybe even consider giving the keys back and saving up for a car that’s actually yours, with no strings attached.

Also, hiding the keys might start drama, but honestly? Sometimes drama’s necessary when people won’t respect basic boundaries.

Another User Comments:

Y’know, I’m gonna go against the grain here and say ESH. Yeah, my stepdad’s being a slob, but you’re not technically the full owner yet. If my mom’s name is on the title, she could argue it’s still her call who drives it.

That said, it’s messed up that she’s letting him trash it when you’re the one paying for part of it.

Instead of hiding keys, maybe try a compromise: “My stepdad, if you want to borrow it, no smoking and you clean it after.” If he refuses, then you’ve got a solid case to take to my mom. But jumping straight to “my way or the highway” might backfire, especially if she’s already siding with him.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, my mom’s kinda failing you here. A gift with strings isn’t a gift—it’s a loan.

If she’s letting my stepdad treat it like his own, then what’s the point of calling it your present?

I’d hand my mom the keys and say, “Thanks, but I’ll save up for my own car.” $5.5k is enough for a decent beater, and at least then you won’t have to deal with my stepdad’s nasty habits. Plus, if my mom gets mad, that’ll show her how unfair this whole thing is.

Side note: People who smoke in cars they don’t own are the worst. That stink NEVER comes out.

Another User Comments:

My stepdad sounds like a real piece of work.

NTJ, but you might wanna pick your battles. Is this the hill you want to die on? If my mom’s not backing you up, hiding the keys could just make things worse at home.

Maybe keep a log of every time he takes it without asking or leaves it dirty. Then show my mom: “Look, this is what I’m paying for.” If she still doesn’t care, then yeah, bail on the deal. But give her one last chance to do right by you.

Another User Comments:

Lol, my stepdad’s out here living rent-free in your car and your head. NTJ, but you’re playing this too nice.

Next time he leaves trash in it, dump it all on his side of the bed. Petty? Absolutely. Effective? Probably.

But real talk: If my mom won’t listen, start putting those biweekly payments into a savings account instead. Let her see how fast my stepdad loses interest when she’s the one footing the bill.

So, I (24F) have been tight with Jordan (27M) ever since we started working at the same salon about a year and a half ago. He’s got a long-term partner, Casey (28F), and they’ve been together since high school. We’re both stylists, so we’ve spent a ton of time together—long shifts, client gossip, the whole deal.

Casey’s job is kinda wild—she’s a marine biologist, but not the kind that chills in a lab. She’s on research vessels for months at a time, sometimes six or seven months straight, then comes home for a few months before heading out again.

When Jordan first told me about it, I was kinda shocked. Like, how do you just… leave your partner like that? I brought it up, but he just shrugged it off, saying it’s what she loves and they’ve always known this was her path.

Then I found out most of her crewmates are dudes. Not gonna lie, that set off alarm bells for me. I asked Jordan about it, and he just laughed, saying they’re like her work family. He even mentioned how they’ve all hung out together when she’s home, like big group dinners and stuff. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was weird.

Like, she’s living with a bunch of guys while Jordan’s stuck at home alone? I tried to voice my concerns, but he kept shutting me down, saying they’ve had this dynamic for years and it works for them.

Then Casey finally came back, and I went over to their place to hang out. Jordan stepped out to take a call, and I just… couldn’t help myself. I straight-up told her I thought she was putting her career before him. She just smirked and said, “Yeah, because I am.” Like, no hesitation. I doubled down, saying he deserved someone who’d actually be there for him, not just disappear for half the year.

She got this look—kinda amused, kinda irritated—and said, “Funny, considering I’m the one who paid off our house in three years.” Then Jordan walked back in, she told him what I said, and next thing I knew, I was being escorted to the door.

I tried texting him, calling him, but radio silence. Then I found out he quit the salon. When I finally got a response, it was just: “Casey’s turning the spare room into my studio. Don’t contact me again.” And just like that, blocked. I get that I messed up, but I just wanted what was best for him.

Now I’ve lost my friend, and I don’t even know how to fix it.

Another User Comments:

Dude, you massively overstepped. Like, Olympic-level boundary crossing. Jordan and Casey have been together for years, and their relationship clearly works for them. You don’t get to decide what’s “best” for him—that’s his call, not yours. And honestly, the way you framed Casey’s job as some shady thing just because she works with men? Not a good look.

You’re acting like she’s some villain for having a career she loves, when in reality, she’s out there killing it financially and supporting Jordan’s dreams by setting up his own studio.

Meanwhile, you’re over here trying to paint her as the bad person because… what? You think Jordan needs saving? He’s a grown man who can make his own choices.

Take the L, learn from this, and move on. Maybe one day you’ll realize how out of line you were and can apologize, but for now, respect his space.

Another User Comments:

I’m gonna be real with you—this whole thing reeks of jealousy. Whether you admit it or not, your “concern” feels way more personal than just looking out for a friend. Jordan’s happy, Casey’s happy, and their dynamic works for them.

Just because you wouldn’t be okay with it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

Also, the way you confronted Casey in her own home? Wildly inappropriate. You don’t get to dictate how someone else’s relationship functions, especially when you’re not part of it. And the fact that Jordan cut you off so decisively should tell you everything you need to know.

Reflect on why you felt so entitled to interfere. Was it really about Jordan’s well-being, or were you projecting your own insecurities? Either way, YTJ.

Another User Comments:

As someone in a similar field to Casey, this whole post is infuriating.

Jobs like hers require being away for long stretches, and the pay and benefits are often worth it. You acting like she’s abandoning Jordan is so outdated. They’ve clearly built a life that accommodates her career, and it sounds like they’re thriving.

Also, the implication that working with men equals something sketchy is gross. Women can work in male-dominated fields without it being a betrayal to their partners. Jordan trusts her, and that’s all that matters.

You owe them both an apology, but honestly? Don’t expect forgiveness anytime soon.

Another User Comments:

I’m gonna play devil’s advocate for a sec—because while you did overstep, I get where the worry came from.

Long-distance isn’t easy, and it’s natural to be concerned for a friend in that situation. But here’s the thing: Jordan wasn’t asking for help. He was fine. You let your own discomfort with their arrangement cloud your judgment, and that’s where you messed up.

Instead of voicing your concerns to him, you went straight to Casey and basically accused her of neglecting him. That’s not how you handle things. If you’d just expressed your worries to Jordan once and dropped it when he reassured you, this might have turned out differently.

Learn from this. Not every relationship looks the same, and that’s okay.

Another User Comments:

Let’s be real—you weren’t just “concerned.” You were judgmental, nosy, and downright rude.

Casey’s career is none of your business, and the fact that you thought it was okay to confront her in her own home is baffling.

Jordan didn’t need saving. He needed a friend who respected his choices. Instead, you made it about your hang-ups and lost him because of it. Take this as a lesson in minding your own business.

I’m Zoe (27f), and I asked my sister Emma (24f) to babysit my two little guys—Lucas (3m) and Oliver (4 months)—so my partner, Liam, and I could finally have our belated Valentine’s Day date. We’d been putting it off forever because, well, toddlers and newborns don’t exactly make romance easy.

I texted Emma on Thursday to see if she could watch them Saturday night. She said yes, no problem, and even confirmed again Friday morning. Cool, right?

Fast forward to Saturday evening—I show up at her place, kids in tow, ready to hand them off. That’s when she hits me with, “Uh, I dunno if I can actually watch them tonight.”

Turns out she went way too hard at a party the night before and was now dealing with the world’s worst hangover. Like, barely functional. But here’s the thing—I’d already paid her upfront because she’d insisted on it. So I’m standing there, holding a diaper bag and a fussy baby, thinking, Seriously?

I ended up leaving the kids with her anyway because, honestly, I was irate and didn’t want to cancel our plans last minute.

Liam and I went out, had a few too many drinks, and came home late. The next day, Emma and our other sister, Ava, ripped into me, saying I was a terrible mom for leaving the kids with someone who was clearly sick. They said I should’ve just taken them home instead of going out.

So, AITJ?

Another User Comments:
“Okay, let’s break this down. Emma absolutely dropped the ball here—she agreed to babysit, took your money, and then tried to back out last minute because she couldn’t handle her liquor. That’s irresponsible as heck. But here’s where you messed up: you knew she was in no state to watch two little kids, especially a newborn.

A hangover isn’t just ‘feeling kinda tired’—it’s dehydration, nausea, headaches, and zero energy. You really think she was alert enough to handle a toddler and an infant?

Another User Comments:
“ESH, but you’re the bigger jerk here. Emma shouldn’t have gotten hammered knowing she had a commitment, but you straight-up ignored her when she said she couldn’t do it. Consent matters, even with babysitting. If someone says ‘I can’t watch your kids,’ you don’t just dump them there and leave. That’s how kids get hurt.

And let’s talk about the drinking.

You’re a parent. Your job is to be responsible for your kids, not just when it’s convenient, but always. If your backup plan falls through, you cancel your night out. Period. It sucks, but that’s parenting. You don’t get to just hope for the best while you’re off getting trashed. What if Oliver had choked on something? What if Lucas had gotten into something dangerous? Emma was in no state to handle emergencies, and neither were you. Grow up.”

Another User Comments:
“Nah, NTJ. Emma said yes, took your cash, and then tried to bail because she couldn’t handle her hangover?

That’s on her. She’s an adult—if she knew she had plans the next day, she should’ve paced herself. You paid her for a service, and she didn’t hold up her end.

That said, leaving the kids with her was risky. I get why you did it—you were frustrated and didn’t want to waste the night—but it wasn’t the smartest move. Still, the real villain here is Emma. She needs to learn how to manage her commitments better. Next time, though, maybe have a backup sitter on standby.”

Another User Comments:
“Yikes.

Look, I get being frustrated when someone backs out last minute, but you crossed a line. Emma told you she couldn’t watch your kids, and you ignored her. That’s not just rude—it’s borderline neglectful. You prioritized a night out over your kids’ well-being.

And let’s be real—if Emma was that hungover, she probably wasn’t paying much attention to them. At best, they were ignored all night. At worst, something could’ve gone seriously wrong. You’re lucky nothing happened, but that doesn’t make it okay. You and Liam should’ve stayed home.

Your kids deserve better than being an afterthought.”

Another User Comments:
“Honestly? ESH, but you’re not the jerk, just a jerk. Emma messed up by getting wasted when she knew she had responsibilities, but you messed up by not adapting when things went sideways. Parenting means sometimes your plans get ruined, and you just have to deal with it.

That said, I don’t think you’re some monster like some comments are making you out to be. You trusted your sister, she let you down, and you made a bad call in the heat of the moment. Learn from it, apologize to Emma (even though she also screwed up), and next time, have a Plan B.

But cut yourself some slack—parenting is hard, and nobody’s perfect.”

Before 2020, I (34M) used to go on these big family vacations with my parents (late 50s), my brother Ethan (28), and my sister Zoe (30). We’d do it every couple years, but thanks to life being chaotic, we haven’t had one since 2018. Now I’m married with a 20-month-old, Zoe’s got a long-term partner, and Ethan? Well, Ethan’s got a hyper little corgi named Rocket and zero interest in relationships

Ethan fully embraced the “dog dad” life. His Instagram is 80% Rocket doing corgi things—splashing in puddles, stealing socks, looking smug.

We live in the same city but barely see each other. When I have been around Rocket, he’s… fine. Just a normal, overly enthusiastic dog. But I have no idea how he’d handle a week at a beach house or being around a toddler.

My parents rented a place in South Carolina this time, and the cancellation deadline’s coming up. We’d all have to fly from the West Coast, which is already a hassle. Then I find out Ethan’s bringing Rocket. My parents aren’t thrilled, but their exact words were, “Well, it’s his life.”

Here’s the thing: I don’t like dogs.

At all. The idea of sharing a flight with one makes me twitch. I don’t want to spend a week in a house with a dog, I don’t want every outing to be dog-friendly, and I really don’t want Rocket near my kid.

My parents refuse to mediate, so I talked to Ethan. His stance? Rocket’s family, so he’s coming. He also pointed out that my toddler’s way louder and more disruptive than a dog. He’s not budging, and honestly, I’m ready to bail. If I do, the whole trip might collapse. So… am I being unreasonable here?

Another User Comments:

Honestly?

Yeah, kinda. Look, I get it—you don’t like dogs. That’s valid. But you haven’t given a single concrete reason why Rocket would ruin the trip. From what you’ve said, he’s well-behaved, just energetic. Meanwhile, you’re bringing a toddler. No hate to kids, but let’s be real—they’re way more unpredictable than a corgi.

Ethan’s not asking you to dog-sit. He’s not demanding everyone go to dog parks. He just wants his pet there, same as you want your kid there. If you bail over this, you’re basically saying your dislike of dogs outweighs seeing your family.

That’s your call, but it’s a pretty extreme hill to die on.

Also, think about your parents. They’re not getting younger, and these trips won’t last forever. Is this really the hill you want to die on? Suck it up, keep an eye on your kid around the dog, and enjoy the beach.

Another User Comments:

Nah, you’re not wrong. Dogs on planes are the worst. I don’t care how “well-behaved” they are—nobody wants to sit next to a panting, whining animal for hours. And sharing a house with a dog? No thanks. The hair, the barking, the constant need to adjust plans around it?

Hard pass.

Ethan’s being selfish. A family vacation means compromising, not insisting on bringing an animal that half the group doesn’t want there. And comparing a kid to a dog? Come on. One’s a human being, the other’s a pet. Not the same.

If your parents won’t step in, then yeah, bail. Let Ethan enjoy his dog-centric vacation. Maybe next time they’ll think twice before letting pets dictate the plans.

Another User Comments:

Soft YTJ. I’m a dog person, but even I think this is a bit much. Ethan’s acting like Rocket is his child, and that’s… weird.

That said, you’re overreacting. You haven’t even tried to find a middle ground. Could Rocket stay in a crate sometimes? Could you agree on dog-free outings?

Instead, you’re jumping straight to the nuclear option. Family trips are rare, and your parents probably just want everyone together. Try negotiating before you blow it up.

Another User Comments:

Dude, just go. You’re letting your dislike of dogs cloud your judgment. Rocket might be annoying, but so are toddlers. And flights with babies? Way worse than flights with dogs.

This isn’t about the dog. It’s about control. You don’t like that Ethan’s prioritizing Rocket, but you’re doing the same with your kid.

Either both of you get a pass, or neither does.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn. On one hand, Ethan’s being inflexible. On the other, you’re refusing to even try. Have you considered that Rocket might actually be fine? Or that your kid might love him?

Family’s messy. Sometimes you tolerate stuff you don’t love because being together matters more. If you skip this, you might regret it later. Suck it up and pack some earplugs

My (32F) husband, Blake (40M), his cousin Darren, and two buddies Ethan and Logan were supposed to head up to their friend’s lakeside cabin for a long weekend. They were all packed and ready to roll out this afternoon, but then boom—two of them tested positive for the flu this morning, and the third was exposed, so the whole trip got scrapped.

I haven’t had a real break in over a year, and with work being insane, it’s not looking like I’ll get one anytime soon.

So when Blake first mentioned his trip, I saw my golden opportunity. I took Friday and Monday off, planned a solo staycation, and went all out. Hit up Bath & Body Works for some fancy candles, stocked the fridge with gourmet cheeses and fancy olives (Blake hates both), booked a sunrise yoga session, and organized a DIY wine-and-paint night with my girls. I even dug out my old DVD collection for a nostalgia binge—stuff Blake would never sit through, like early 2000s rom-coms and cheesy horror flicks.

Now that his trip’s canceled, Blake suggested I rearrange my weekend so we can spend extra time together. Don’t get me wrong, I love the guy, but I’ve been looking forward to this me-time for weeks.

I told him I’m keeping my plans as-is, and he got all huffy. Says I’m being selfish, especially about the food thing. Here’s the kicker—I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning, and our finances are split 75/25 because of it. He claims me cooking meals just for myself for four days “breaks our agreement” and is unfair. Oh, and he’s also mad about my friends sleeping over after wine night. Says it’s “inappropriate” to have a “sleepover party” when he’s home and that we’ll be “too loud.”

Right now, I’m making myself a mushroom risotto (he gags at mushrooms) and a kale Caesar salad (he calls kale “rabbit food”).

I casually mentioned he could grab takeout from his favorite burger place, and he stormed out like I’d insulted his ancestors. I don’t know if I should feel guilty or just annoyed. Feels like he expects me to be on-call for his vibe 24/7.

Another User Comments:

“Blake is acting like a toddler who missed his nap. The audacity of him expecting you to drop everything you planned just because his plans fell through is wild. If my partner had a staycation lined up, I’d either A) cheer them on or B) make myself scarce so they could enjoy it. The fact that he’s whining about you cooking food he doesn’t like is next-level petty.

You’re not his personal chef—you’re allowed to eat what you want, especially in your own house.

And the sleepover thing? Please. Adults are allowed to have fun. If he’s that bothered, he can go crash at a buddy’s place or book a hotel for the night. His tantrum is giving ‘main character syndrome.’ You’re not the jerk here—he is, and he needs to check his entitlement before it tanks your relationship.”

Another User Comments:

“Okay, but why are men like this? Blake had no issue leaving you alone for his boys’ trip, but the second he’s stuck at home, he’s policing your food and social life?

The mental gymnastics are Olympic-level. You’re not selfish for wanting one weekend to yourself after a year of no breaks. If anything, he should be bending over backward to make sure you still get that time.

The financial split argument is such a weak move too. You’re not ‘breaking the agreement’ by eating risotto—you’re just not catering to him for a few days. And the sleepover backlash is just controlling. If he’s that worried about noise, he can wear headphones or leave. Stand your ground, OP. Your plans sound amazing, and you deserve every second of them.”

Another User Comments:

“Y’all are missing the bigger issue here.

Blake isn’t just being selfish—he’s showing you who he is. A partner who truly cared would want you to have that time to recharge, not guilt-trip you for it. The fact that he’s making his canceled trip your problem is a major red flag.

And the ‘inappropriate sleepover’ comment? Gross. It’s 2024—adults can have friends over without it being a scandal. If he’s so uncomfortable, he can go play video games in the basement like a normal person. Don’t let him ruin your weekend. You’ve earned this.”

Another User Comments:

“Hot take: ESH.

Yeah, Blake is being a brat, but canceling the cocktail part of the night might’ve been a fair compromise. If he’s stuck at home, it’s not crazy to ask for some peace. That said, his reaction was way over the top, and the food thing is ridiculous. You’re allowed to cook what you want, but maybe throw him a bone and make one meal he likes? Relationships are about give-and-take, even when one person’s being a pill.”

Another User Comments:

“Nah, OP, you’re solid. Blake had his own trip planned—why shouldn’t you get yours?

The double standard is glaring. And the ‘adults don’t have sleepovers’ line is such nonsense. My wife and I host game nights with our friends all the time, and half the group crashes afterward. It’s called being social. If Blake can’t handle that, he needs to grow up or get out. Don’t let his sulking steal your joy.”

Every year before I take my kids—Ethan (14) and Ava (12)—on vacation, I used to give my ex, Jordan, a heads-up months in advance. Like, full itinerary stuff. Swimsuits or hiking boots? Sweaters or rash guards? Flying out of state or road-tripping? I’d spell it all out. But now? Nah. I wait until the day I pick them up to drop the details.

Why the change? Well, the first year after the divorce, I told Jordan we were hitting Disneyland in August. Guess where she and her new guy, Blake, took the kids that same month?

Disney World. Weird, right? Just a total coincidence, I’m sure.

Year two, I planned a camping trip in Yellowstone. Out of nowhere, Jordan and Blake rented a giant RV and took the kids on some “spontaneous” road trip two weeks before my trip. Super random, definitely not calculated.

So now, I play it smart. Day of pickup, I hand Jordan a printed schedule—hotels, campgrounds, emergency contacts, the works. I even email it to her and Blake so there’s no “oops, lost the paper” excuse.

Jordan’s upset. Says I’m a jerk for not giving her time to “plan accordingly.” Last summer, we did a Midwest baseball tour—four MLB stadiums, plus a bunch of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives spots.

The kids loved it. Meanwhile, Jordan and Blake? Back to Disney. Again. The kids had fun, but Ethan mentioned waiting in line for kiddie rides with their stepbrother wasn’t exactly thrilling.

This summer? I might be taking them to my grandparents’ cabin in the Adirondacks. Or maybe not. Who knows?

Jordan thinks I’m petty. I think she’s the one playing games with my time with the kids. So, AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ, dude. You’re not hiding anything—you’re just not giving her a six-month head start to copy your plans. She gets all the info she needs when it matters: while the kids are with you.

The only reason she’d need to know months ahead is if she’s trying to one-up you, which… yeah, she totally is.

And let’s be real, Disney twice in a row? That’s not even subtle. She’s not “planning accordingly,” she’s planning competitively. You’re handling it the right way—making sure she can reach the kids in an emergency without giving her ammo to hijack your trips. Keep doing what you’re doing.

Another User Comments:

Eh, I get why you’re doing this, but it does feel a little petty. Yeah, she’s obviously copying your trips, but shutting down all communication beforehand isn’t great either.

Co-parenting works best when there’s some trust and coordination.

That said, if she’s just using the info to mess with your plans, then sure, protect your time with the kids. But maybe leave the door open for actual cooperation if she ever decides to act like an adult. Right now, it’s just a weird game of vacation one-upmanship, and the kids are caught in the middle.

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all. You’re not keeping her in the dark—you’re giving her everything she needs to know when she needs to know it. That’s more than fair, especially with her track record.

Also, major props for the baseball tour idea.

That sounds way cooler than another Disney trip. Your kids are lucky to have a dad who puts thought into making memories with them instead of just trying to win against the other parent. Jordan needs to grow up and stop treating vacations like some weird rivalry.

Another User Comments:

You know, I’m torn. On one hand, yeah, she’s being shady. On the other, withholding info feels like you’re stooping to her level. What if there’s an actual emergency and she’s scrambling because she had no idea where you were taking them?

That said, you do give her all the details before you leave, so it’s not like she’s totally in the dark.

Maybe just keep doing what you’re doing but throw in a vague heads-up earlier, like “Hey, we’re doing something outdoorsy this summer” without specifics. That way, she can’t copy you, but she’s not completely blindsided.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, this is kind of hilarious. She’s so predictable! Of course she took them to Disney again. At this point, it’s less about the kids and more about her ego.

You’re handling it perfectly. Giving her the schedule last-minute means she can’t sabotage your plans, but she still has all the necessary info.

And let’s be real—if the roles were reversed, she wouldn’t be giving you a heads-up either. Keep being the fun parent, and let her keep wasting money on the same trip every year. The kids will remember who actually put effort into their vacations.

So, I’m a 33-year-old guy living with my wife, Carmen (31), and our 8-year-old son, Ethan. Ethan has cerebral palsy and uses a wheelchair full-time. Our house is a two-story, which isn’t the most convenient setup, but it was left to Carmen by her dad, and right now, moving isn’t in the cards financially. We’ve got the downstairs bedrooms since Ethan’s mobility needs make stairs a no-go.

Last week, my brother, Marcus, and his wife, Bianca, crashed at our place while they were in town.

Bianca’s seven months pregnant. Now, I’d already told Marcus months ago that the guest rooms are upstairs—figured that was clear. But when they got here, Bianca took one look at the staircase and went, “Wait, you expect me to hike up there every night?” I laughed and said, “Uh, yeah? That’s where the beds are.”

Marcus got all huffy and said he assumed we’d moved them downstairs because of the pregnancy. I told him no, there are no extra rooms downstairs, and then they hit us with, “Well, why don’t you switch with us for a few days?”

Carmen shut that down immediately.

Ethan has hearing loss from his CP and takes his hearing aids out at night, so if something happened—like, god forbid, a break-in or him falling out of bed, he might not hear us calling for him. We weren’t comfortable being a whole floor away. Bianca got mad and said we were being unreasonable, that pregnant women aren’t supposed to do stairs (since when?), and that they’d totally hear if Ethan needed help. Yeah, no. We stood our ground, and they called us selfish jerks before storming off to stay with my mom.

Look, maybe I’m overly cautious, but this is our routine, and I did warn them ahead of time.

Another User Comments:

Honestly, NTJ.

I get that stairs suck when you’re pregnant—I’ve been there—but your reasoning for staying downstairs is way more important. Ethan’s safety isn’t something you compromise on, even for a few days. If Bianca’s pregnancy isn’t high-risk (and it doesn’t sound like it is, since she’s traveling), then climbing stairs is just annoying, not dangerous. Plus, you told them where the rooms were. They knew the deal. It’s wild that they expected you to uproot your kid’s setup for their convenience. And calling you names? Super immature. They could’ve just sucked it up or booked a hotel.

Another User Comments:

Nah, you’re not the jerk here. Pregnant women walk stairs all the time. Unless her doctor specifically said “no stairs,” which I doubt, this is just entitlement. I lived in a third-floor walk-up during my last pregnancy—was it fun? No. Did I survive? Yeah. And the audacity to demand your room? Nope. Your son’s needs come first, full stop. If they didn’t like the accommodations, they should’ve planned better instead of guilt-tripping you.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and I’m side-eyeing your brother and SIL hard.

First, it’s your house. Guests don’t get to dictate where you sleep. Second, Ethan’s medical needs aren’t negotiable. Third, unless Bianca’s on bed rest (which she clearly isn’t), stairs are just uncomfortable, not forbidden. The fact that they jumped to insults instead of, I dunno, asking nicely or offering to help rearrange furniture if it was that big a deal speaks volumes. They’re the inconsiderate ones, not you.

Another User Comments:

Okay, hot take: ESH. Yeah, your brother and SIL were pushy, but you could’ve been more empathetic. Pregnancy is exhausting, and stairs do suck.

Maybe there was a compromise, like setting up an air mattress downstairs or helping her limit trips upstairs. That said, they way overreacted by calling you names. Everyone here could’ve handled it better.

Another User Comments:

Hard disagree with anyone saying you’re in the wrong. Your kid’s safety trumps temporary discomfort. If Bianca’s pregnancy was high-risk, she shouldn’t be traveling. If it’s not, then she’s just being dramatic. And the audacity to demand your room? Absolutely not. You warned them. They ignored it. That’s on them. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for prioritizing Ethan.

I’m 16F and I’ve got three brothers—two younger, one older. Before anyone jumps in with the whole “you’re just a kid” thing, yeah, I get it, family helps family. Both my parents work crazy hours, and the only day they’re off is Sunday, so guess who’s stuck playing babysitter? Me. But here’s the kicker—my older brother, let’s say his name is Miles, has decided that since I’m a girl, my life’s purpose is to cook, clean, and pop out babies someday.

Miles knows how to cook.

He’s done it before. No recent kitchen disasters, no excuses. But ever since he started hanging out with this new group of guys, he’s turned into this weird, entitled jerk who thinks I’m his personal maid. I’ve started charging my parents for dealing with him because, honestly, why should I take care of a grown man who does nothing but sit at his computer all day?

I talked to my friends about it, and they’re all like, “Uh, no, you’re not the problem here.” But when I mentioned it to Miles’s buddies, they hit me with the whole “that’s just how things are” nonsense.

Like, cool, thanks for the input, guys. Miles used to pull his weight, but now? Nope. Just a lump on the couch. Oh, and bonus—I’m the emergency contact for all my brothers, so my phone’s constantly blowing up with their latest crises. That part doesn’t bug me as much, but Miles’s whole act? Yeah, I’m over it.

So,  am I the jerk for making my parents pay me to deal with Miles?

Another User Comments:
Absolutely NTJ. Miles’s acting like a relic from the 1950s, and his friends sound like they’re feeding him this garbage.

You’re 16—you should be worrying about school, hobbies, hanging out with friends, not playing maid to a grown man who can’t be bothered to lift a finger. And charging your parents? Honestly, good for you. ... Click here to continue reading