"Am I The Jerk?" Moments That Dissect Human Nature

My partner, Jordan (21M), moved in with me about three months ago. Things have been great—mostly. But last week, he asked if his mom, Melissa, could crash with us for a couple of nights because his parents are going through a messy divorce. I wasn’t thrilled about it, but it’s just two days, right? I figured I could suck it up for his sake.

Fast forward to the second morning. I’m in the kitchen, half-asleep, wearing nothing but boxers and socks, sipping my coffee. Jordan’s still knocked out (dude’s been grinding between classes and his part-time job, so I let him sleep).

Melissa walks in to make her coffee, sees me, and doesn’t even blink. She just starts chatting about the weather like it’s no big deal. Cool, whatever.

Then Jordan stumbles in, takes one look at me, and his face does this whole record scratch freeze-frame thing. He pulls me aside and hisses, “Why aren’t you wearing pants around my mom??” I told him I was here first, she didn’t care, and it’s my house—if I wanna drink coffee in my boxers at 7 AM, that’s my business. But he said it was “creepy” and that I should’ve thrown on sweats just out of respect.

Here’s the thing: I’m gay.

Melissa’s a nice lady, but it’s not like there’s some unspoken tension here. Plus, she never said a word about it—just smiled and went about her day. But Jordan’s been giving me the cold shoulder ever since she left.

AITJ for not pandering to some unspoken dress code in my own home?

Another User Comments:

Okay, gonna be real with you—soft YTJ. Look, I get it. It’s your place, your rules. But when you’ve got guests, especially your partner’s parent, it’s just basic decency to throw on some pants. Doesn’t have to be jeans—sweatpants, basketball shorts, heck, even a robe would’ve worked.

It’s not about whether Melissa was uncomfortable (though she might’ve just been polite). It’s about showing a little consideration for your partner’s feelings.

Jordan’s clearly got some boundaries around this, and even if they seem silly to you, relationships are about compromise. If my partner’s mom saw me in my underwear, I’d be mortified—not because of anything hot, but because it’s just… awkward? Like, you wouldn’t walk into a job interview in boxers, right? Same energy.

That said, Jordan’s icy attitude is overkill. He could’ve just said, “Hey, can you cover up next time?” instead of making it weird.

But yeah, next time the in-laws visit, maybe keep the sleepwear a little more PG.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but also… kinda naive? Dude, it’s your house, and you weren’t naked—just in underwear. But let’s not pretend this is only about comfort. There’s a weird societal expectation around “appropriate” clothing, especially with parents, and whether we like it or not, it matters to some people.

Jordan’s reaction was over the top, but I’m guessing this isn’t just about the pants. Maybe he’s stressed about his parents’ divorce and projecting, or maybe he’s worried about how his mom perceives your relationship.

Either way, this feels like a convo y’all need to have when tempers cool.

Side note: Melissa sounds chill as heck. If she wasn’t bothered, that’s a point in your favor. But yeah, maybe keep some lounge pants by the coffee maker next time.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but not a huge one. Look, I’m all for being comfortable in your own space, but when you invite someone into your home—especially your partner’s mom—you gotta read the room. Underwear is technically clothing, but it’s not exactly company-ready.

And here’s the thing: Melissa might’ve been too polite to say anything, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t low-key weirded out.

Older generations tend to have different standards for this stuff, and even if she’s cool with you being gay, she might not be cool with seeing you in your skivvies.

Jordan’s not wrong for wanting you to dress a little more modestly around his mom. But he is wrong for dragging this out instead of just saying, “Hey, let’s not do that again.”

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but you’re missing the bigger picture. Yeah, it’s your house. Yeah, you’re gay. None of that changes the fact that most people would feel awkward seeing their kid’s partner in underwear.

It’s not about attraction—it’s about social norms.

Jordan’s being a bit of a drama queen, but I’d bet money this is less about the pants and more about him feeling like you’re not taking his family seriously. His parents are divorcing, his mom’s crashing with you guys—that’s a lot of emotional baggage. He probably wanted you to go the extra mile to make her feel welcome, and the underwear thing felt like a snub.

Not saying you’re wrong, but this is one of those “pick your battles” moments.

Another User Comments:

ESH, but gently.

You for not considering basic guest etiquette (again, sweatpants exist), and Jordan for turning this into a multi-day grudge match.

Also, can we talk about how Melissa just… rolled with it? Legend. But seriously, this whole thing could’ve been avoided with a 10-second wardrobe change. Learn from it, laugh about it later, and maybe buy Jordan a coffee as a peace offering.

Up until last year, I thought my life was pretty solid. Good parents, decent friends, no major drama. Then I turned 18 (legal adulthood here in Canada), and boom—everything flipped.

I’d been planning this massive birthday bash for months. Rented out a community center, invited like 50 people, the whole deal. My parents even helped set it up, which, looking back, feels kinda ironic. That night was a blur—first time getting properly intoxicated, ended up face-down in a plate of nachos at one point. Good times.

Then, three days later, my parents hit me with the “we need to talk” speech.

Not the fun kind. They sat me down and dropped the bomb: “You’re a man now, and men contribute.” Apparently, they’d expected me to start paying rent the second I got my first job at 16 (shoutout to Pete’s Diner for the minimum wage grind). But here’s the kicker—they never mentioned it. Not once.

I wasn’t against helping out. Heck, I’d have thrown them some cash if they’d asked. But they acted like I’d been scamming them for years. Then they demanded back pay—like, $12K for the two years I’d been working.

I laughed. They didn’t. Their ultimatum? Pay up or get out.

So I got out. Crashed with my buddy Cameron for a few weeks, then found a tiny apartment. Been here ever since. The texts started immediately: “You’re ungrateful.” “We’re struggling without you.” (Note: They’re 42 and 44, both fully employed.) Oh, and my favorite: “Who’s gonna take out the trash now?” Real tragic.

My friends are split. Half are like, “Your parents are wild for that.” The other half? “You owe them; that’s family.” But here’s the thing—if they’d just asked, I’d have helped.

Instead, they blindsided me with a bill for existing as a teenager. So, Reddit, am I the jerk here?

Another User Comments:

Dude, your parents are out of line. Full stop. You don’t spring a $12K “debt” on your kid out of nowhere. That’s not how parenting works. They chose to have you; feeding and housing you was their job, not a loan with interest. The fact that you were doing chores already means you were pulling your weight.

And let’s talk about their logic—if they needed help, why wait two years to mention it? Sounds like they’re bad at money and taking it out on you.

Moving out was the right call. If they’re “struggling” now, maybe they should’ve been upfront instead of playing the guilt card.

Also, the friends saying you “owe” them? Nah. Family isn’t a transactional relationship. You don’t charge your kid rent retroactively like it’s some kind of surprise tax. They had options—talk to you like an adult, set expectations early—but they went nuclear instead. Not your fault they don’t like the consequences.

Another User Comments:

Okay, controversial take: ESH. Your parents handled this horribly, no question. But you’re not totally innocent either.

You admit you’d have helped if they asked, so why not offer sooner? At 16, sure, you’re a kid. But by 18, you’re old enough to realize living costs money.

That said, the back-pay demand is insane. That’s not rent; that’s a shakedown. And the guilt-tripping after you left? Pathetic. They’re grown adults who can do their own laundry.

Still, this could’ve been avoided with basic communication. Maybe sit down with them now and say, “Hey, I’m willing to help moving forward, but the past is the past.” If they refuse, then you’ve done your part.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but your parents are financially abusive.

Demanding money you didn’t know you “owed” is textbook manipulation. And the fact they’re whining about chores? Please. They’re not helpless; they’re lazy.

Also, the friends siding with them? Ask them if they’d be cool with their parents invoicing them for childhood. Bet they’d change their tune real fast.

You did the right thing by leaving. Stick to your guns. And block their numbers if they keep harassing you—you don’t need that noise.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are missing the bigger issue: Why didn’t they just ask for rent upfront?

This isn’t about money; it’s about control. They wanted you to feel guilty, to keep you under their thumb.

And the back-pay thing? That’s not even legal in most places. You can’t charge a minor for living expenses. They’re lucky you’re not petty enough to report them.

Stay moved out. Build your own life. And maybe send them a link to a parenting book for their next birthday.

Another User Comments:

Hot take: Your parents are just bad at adulting. They didn’t plan ahead, and now they’re scrambling. Doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it explains it.

Still, you’re not their backup plan.

If they’re that hard up, they can downsize or pick up side gigs. You’re 19—your job is to figure your life out, not fund theirs.

And for the love of god, stop answering their guilt texts. “Sorry, my landlord says I can’t afford to pay two rents” is a great response.

I (29) and my fiancé, Lucas (30), got engaged about two years ago. Ever since then, we’ve been going back and forth on wedding plans. At first, we were thinking around 150 people, but honestly? That idea gave me massive anxiety. Like, sweating-through-my-shirt-just-thinking-about-it levels of stress. After a lot of talks (and some therapy sessions), we landed on a small, intimate wedding—like, less than 30 people small. And you know what? We’re both thrilled with the decision. No stress, no chaos, just the people who really matter to us.

Here’s the issue, though. With such a tight guest list, we have to be super picky.

Lucas’s got a big immediate family, so his side takes up more than half the spots. That’s totally fine with me—I would’ve gone even smaller if we could’ve. But because space is limited, I had to make some tough calls. One of them? Not inviting my step-sisters, Carla (30) and Diana (32).

Before anyone jumps down my throat—it’s not like I hate them or anything. We just… don’t have a relationship. Like, at all. My mom (56) married my stepdad, Samuel (65), when I was around 8 or 9, and my step-sisters never lived with us. We’d see them occasionally for obligatory family vacations, but that was it.

These days, I might see Carla once a year (and we don’t talk outside of that). As for Diana? Haven’t spoken to or seen her in over eight years. It’s not drama, just… nothing.

Now, my mom is losing it. She’s claiming Samuel won’t come if Carla and Diana aren’t invited, but she won’t give me a straight answer about whether she’s coming either. My guess? She hasn’t even talked to Samuel about it and is just assuming he’ll side with her.

So, AITJ for keeping my wedding small and not inviting people I barely know?

Another User Comments:

NTJ.

Dude, you don’t owe anyone an invite just because they’re technically “family.” If you don’t have a relationship with them, why would they even want to come? It’s not like they’re missing out on some huge bonding moment—you’re basically strangers at this point.

Your mom’s being manipulative by dangling Samuel’s attendance like some kind of bargaining chip. Call her bluff. Tell her, “You and Samuel are invited, but if he chooses not to come, that’s his decision. I need a firm RSVP by [date], or I’ll assume you’re both not attending.” And then drop it.

Don’t let her drag you into endless guilt trips.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are wild with these NTJ votes. Look, I get it—small weddings mean tough choices. But step-siblings aren’t just random strangers; they’re part of your family, even if you’re not close. Not inviting them is going to cause drama, and you had to know that.

Your mom’s reaction might be over the top, but can you blame her? From her perspective, you’re excluding her stepkids for no real reason other than “we don’t talk.” Yeah, you’re not obligated to invite them, but don’t act shocked when people get upset.

Weddings aren’t just about the couple—they’re about families coming together. If you’re cool burning bridges over this, fine, but own it.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. My wedding was 25 people, and you know what? Zero regrets. We invited only the people we genuinely wanted there, and it was perfect. No awkward small talk with distant relatives, no forced smiles for people we barely knew.

Your step-sisters haven’t been part of your life in nearly a decade. Why would they suddenly care about your wedding now? Your mom’s throwing a tantrum because she’s stuck in some fantasy where everyone plays happy family, but that’s not reality.

Stand your ground.

If Samuel chooses to skip his stepdaughter’s wedding over this, that’s on him, not you. You’re not a bad person for prioritizing real relationships over obligatory ones.

Another User Comments:

Eh, soft YTJ. I get where you’re coming from, but weddings are one of those events where you kinda have to suck it up and invite family, even if you’re not close. Not inviting them sends a pretty clear message: “You don’t matter to me.” And yeah, maybe they don’t, but was it worth the fallout?

Your mom’s handling it poorly, but I don’t think she’s wrong to be upset.

Could you have at least asked Carla and Diana if they even wanted to come? Maybe they’d have said no, and then you’d have avoided this whole mess. Now it’s just a big ol’ drama bomb.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and ignore anyone saying otherwise. Your wedding, your rules. If people can’t respect that, they don’t deserve an invite in the first place.

The idea that you have to invite someone just because they share a vague family connection is ridiculous. You’re not close. They’re not part of your life. End of story.

Your mom’s being childish by refusing to give a straight answer.

Tell her the deadline for RSVPs is firm, and if she can’t commit, you’ll take that as a no. Then go enjoy your day with the people who actually want to celebrate you.

My husband, Brandon, and I finally took our two kids, Noah and Ava, to Disney World after years of waiting for them to be old enough to really enjoy it. Brandon and I aren’t exactly marathon runners, so we figured it’d be smart to invite his sister, Emily, and her husband, Ryan, to come along. We booked two separate rooms and assumed we’d all hang out together most of the time—you know, since it was a family vacation.

First day in Magic Kingdom, we hit a couple of rides as a group, but when it was time to meet Mickey, Emily said she and Ryan had other stuff they wanted to do and would catch up later.

Cool, whatever. We didn’t see them again until dinner, watched fireworks together, then called it a night.

Day two, Epcot. They stuck with us until after lunch, then dipped to “drink around the world.” When we met up for dinner, they were clearly buzzed, laughing way too loud in front of the kids. Real classy.

That night, after the kids were asleep, I knocked on their door. I straight-up asked if they were planning to spend any quality time with us or if this was just a free-for-all. Emily shrugged and said they were doing enough, and she wasn’t about to use her vacation days as a “built-in babysitter.” Ouch.

The last two days?

Radio silence. They did their thing, we did ours. The flight home was awkward as heck. I was so mad that they’d basically ghosted us—and the kids were disappointed they barely saw their aunt—that I sent a very detailed email to the whole family explaining why we’d be going low contact with Emily. Yeah, I included her in the email. Yeah, I hit send and went to bed.

Woke up to a storm of angry texts from Brandon’s side of the family calling me dramatic. Look, I just thought family vacations meant, you know, family time. Guess Emily has other priorities.

Another User Comments:

Yikes, OP.

Look, I get being disappointed, but you went nuclear over something that could’ve been handled with a simple conversation. Emily and Ryan did spend time with you—just not as much as you wanted. And honestly? Adults splitting off to do their own thing at Disney is totally normal. Not everyone wants to stand in line for ‘It’s a Small World’ five times in a row.

You assumed they’d be your backup parents without ever actually asking them. That’s on you. And sending that email? That was just petty. You could’ve talked to Emily privately instead of dragging the whole family into it.

Now you’ve created way more drama than necessary, and honestly, your kids probably didn’t even notice their aunt wasn’t around 24/7—they were at Disney! They were fine.

Next time, if you need help with the kids, hire a babysitter or be upfront about your expectations. Don’t guilt-trip family into unpaid labor and then act shocked when they push back.

Another User Comments:

Nah, I’m with OP on this one. If you agree to a family vacation, you’re signing up for family time. Emily and Ryan knew the deal—they could’ve said no if they wanted a couples’ trip.

Getting tipsy at Epcot and ditching the kids? Not a great look.

And let’s be real: Disney with little kids is exhausting. It’s not crazy to expect family to help out, especially when you’re all there together. Emily’s comment about not being a ‘babysitter’ was rude as heck. Family should want to be involved, not act like it’s a chore.

That said, the email was a bit much. Should’ve handled it face-to-face instead of airing it out to everyone. But I don’t blame OP for being upset. Emily’s the one who ruined the vibe.

Another User Comments:

Okay, but let’s talk about the real issue here: why are we acting like Disney with kids is some unmanageable nightmare?

OP, you’re acting like you needed Emily and Ryan to survive the trip. If you and Brandon can’t handle your own kids for a few days, maybe you shouldn’t have planned this vacation in the first place.

Emily and Ryan aren’t obligated to be your backup. They’re adults on their own vacation. Yeah, it would’ve been nice if they’d hung out more, but they’re not villains for wanting some time alone. And honestly, your kids were probably too busy having fun to care.

The email was the cherry on top of this mess. You turned a minor conflict into a full-blown family feud because you couldn’t handle a little disappointment.

Grow up.

Another User Comments:

Hot take: Everyone here sucks. Emily and Ryan could’ve been more present, but OP’s expectations were unrealistic from the jump. You don’t invite people on a trip and then get mad when they don’t follow your unspoken script.

And let’s be honest—Disney is expensive. If Emily and Ryan paid their own way, they have every right to enjoy the trip how they want. If OP paid for them, that’s a different story, but even then, boundaries should’ve been set upfront.

The email was a bad move, though. Now the whole family’s picking sides, and it’s gonna be awkward at Thanksgiving.

Congrats, you played yourself.

Another User Comments:

Honestly, I feel bad for the kids in all this. They’re the ones who got caught in the middle of adult pettiness. OP, you’re not wrong for wanting family time, but you handled this terribly. Instead of stewing in silence, you should’ve spoken up sooner—like, ‘Hey, we’d love it if you joined us for X activity.’

And Emily? She could’ve been more considerate. But at the end of the day, this was a communication fail on both sides. Next time, set expectations before the trip, not after the fact in a passive-aggressive email.

I’m Evan (23M), and my partner, Mia (21F) and I have been going out for about a year and a half. Her family is seriously awesome — super welcoming, always inviting me over, and just genuinely kind people. Her dad is doing pretty well financially, and whenever we go out to eat, he always insists on paying. No arguments, no fuss — he just picks up the tab like it’s nothing.

A few months back, I went on a week-long vacation with Mia, her brother Logan, and her parents. Dad covered the entire hotel stay, and he even gave Mia some cash for food, which she split with me and Logan.

I only paid half of my flight because Mia offered to cover the rest. The only real expenses I had were a couple of meals here and there, and even then, Mia chipped in. Basically, her family’s generosity has been next-level.

Fast forward to last weekend. Mia, her younger brother Logan, her dad, and I went out for brunch. Before we left, Mia casually mentioned that maybe I should offer to pay for everyone. She made it clear that her dad would absolutely refuse — no doubt about it — but she thought he’d appreciate the gesture.

Okay, here’s where I might’ve messed up.

I laughed. Like, full-on chuckled at the idea. I told her I’d offer to cover our portion (hers and mine), but the whole bill? Nah. I’ve got rent, student loans, and all the usual adulting expenses. Dropping $150+ on brunch just wasn’t happening.

Mia insisted that if—somehow—her dad actually let me pay (which, again, she swore he wouldn’t), she’d Venmo me half. I still wasn’t sold. I asked her, “If the roles were reversed, would you offer to pay for my whole family? There’s eight of us.” She said that was different because, well, eight people is way more than four.

Our upbringings are polar opposites when it comes to stuff like this.

Mia’s family is the type where everyone fights over the check because offering to pay is just what you do. Meanwhile, in my family, if someone volunteered to cover the meal, you let them. No arguments, no fake-outs — just gratitude.

At brunch, I offered to pay for Mia and me. Dad, as predicted, immediately shut it down and paid for everything. Mia gave me this look like, See? I told you. Now she’s upset because she thinks my reaction was rude and immature. She said she needs space to think things over because the whole thing was a turn-off for her.

So… am I the jerk here?

Another User Comments:

Dude, yeah, YTJ.

Let’s break this down. First, Mia’s family has been insanely generous with you. They covered a whole vacation, your hotel, most of your food, and half your flight. And you’re balking at the idea of offering to pay for brunch? Even when Mia promised she’d cover half if her dad somehow said yes? That’s wild.

This isn’t about the money—it’s about the gesture. You’re not just going out with Mia; you’re interacting with her family, and right now, you’re coming off as ungrateful. She was trying to help you look good in front of her dad, and instead, you acted like the idea was ridiculous.

And the whole “but my family doesn’t do this” thing?

Irrelevant. You’re not with your family. You’re with hers, and they clearly operate differently. Part of being in a relationship is adapting to each other’s worlds, not digging your heels in because “that’s not how I was raised.”

Mia’s right to be rethinking things. If you can’t see why offering to pay (even if you know you won’t have to) is a basic courtesy in this situation, then you’ve got some growing up to do.

Another User Comments:

Nah, I don’t think you’re the jerk here. Mia’s family might be loaded, but that doesn’t mean you should feel obligated to pretend you are too.

$150 for brunch is a lot, especially when you’re already budgeting for your own life.

I get that her dad would’ve refused, but why even play the game? It’s performative, and if they’re as nice as you say, they shouldn’t care whether you offer or not. Mia’s making a big deal out of nothing.

That said, you could’ve handled the conversation better. Laughing at her suggestion probably made her feel like you were dismissing her perspective. Next time, just explain your side calmly instead of treating it like a joke.

But no, you’re not a jerk for not wanting to drop a bunch of cash on a gesture you knew wouldn’t matter in the end.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, and here’s why: This isn’t about the money.

It’s about respect. Mia’s family has gone out of their way to include you and make you feel welcome, and all she asked was for you to make one small gesture in return.

You’re hung up on the “but I can’t afford it” angle, but Mia already told you it wouldn’t actually cost you anything. She was trying to help you save face, especially if her family has noticed that you’ve been on the receiving end of their generosity a lot.

Instead of trusting her, you acted like she was asking for something unreasonable. That’s what’s really bothering her—not the money, but the fact that you didn’t even consider her point of view.

If you want this relationship to work, you’ve got to learn to meet her halfway.

Otherwise, she’s gonna realize she deserves someone who gets it.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn on this one. On one hand, I get why you’d feel weird about offering to pay when you know you can’t actually afford it. But on the other hand, Mia wasn’t asking you to actually pay—just to make the offer. It’s a cultural thing in some families, and it clearly matters to her.

Where you messed up was in how you reacted. Laughing at her suggestion made it seem like you thought her family’s norms were silly or beneath you.

Even if you didn’t mean it that way, that’s how it came across.

At the end of the day, relationships are about compromise. If this is the hill you’re willing to die on, fine—but don’t be surprised if Mia decides she’s done climbing it with you.

Another User Comments:

Honestly, ESH (everyone sucks here). You for laughing at Mia’s suggestion instead of just having an adult conversation about it, and Mia for making this into a bigger deal than it needed to be.

Yeah, offering to pay would’ve been a nice gesture, but she knows your financial situation isn’t the same as hers.

If she wanted you to play along with her family’s customs, she could’ve explained it better instead of just dropping it on you last minute.

That said, you both need to work on communication. This whole “I need space because you didn’t do what I wanted” thing is dramatic. Either talk it out like adults or accept that you’re not compatible.

I’m 17F, and I live in this apartment building where my neighbor, Caroline, has a 10-year-old daughter named Sophie. Sophie’s a sweet kid—super into cartoons and video games—and I’ve babysat her a few times when Caroline’s had work stuff. We usually just hang out, play some games, and snack on whatever’s in my fridge. No big deal.

Last weekend, Caroline hit me up last-minute asking if I could watch Sophie because she had some work emergency. I said yeah, no problem. Sophie came over on Saturday afternoon, and we were chilling, drawing dumb comics, when my friends (Liam, Olivia, and Mason) texted me like, “Hey, we’re still on for the movies tonight, right?”

Oh.

Right. I’d totally forgotten we’d vaguely planned to see something that night. But obviously, I couldn’t just bail on Sophie, so I asked Caroline if it was cool if I took her with me. She said sure, just no R-rated stuff. Easy enough.

We meet up with my friends at the theater, and at first, they’re all, “Hey, Sophie!” and acting normal. Then they drop the bomb: they wanna see Nightmare Hollow, this super-gory horror movie. Sophie immediately makes this face like she’s about to cry and goes, “Can we see Panda Adventures instead?” Panda Adventures is this dumb animated movie about, well, pandas.

It looked kinda fun, honestly.

I told my friends, “Yeah, no, I can’t take a 10-year-old to Nightmare Hollow.” They rolled their eyes and said, “Come on, it’s not that bad.” Uh, yes, it is? The trailer alone had a guy getting his face melted off.

So I said, “Look, I’m responsible for her. We’re seeing Panda Adventures.” They got all huffy and said I was “ruining the night” by “catering to a kid.” Excuse me? I’m babysitting. That’s literally the job.

Sophie and I had a blast watching pandas do panda things, but my friends are now irate and saying I “chose a kid over them.” AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ at all.

You did the responsible thing, and your friends are being ridiculous. First of all, you didn’t “choose a kid over them”—you were literally hired to take care of that kid. That’s like getting mad at a lifeguard for saving someone instead of hanging out with you.

Second, who in their right mind thinks it’s okay to drag a 10-year-old to a graphic horror movie? That’s just common sense. Your friends sound immature as heck. If they wanted to watch Nightmare Hollow so bad, they could’ve gone without you. It’s not like you forced them to watch Panda Adventures.

Also, Sophie’s mom trusted you to make good decisions, and you did.

Your friends need to grow up.

Another User Comments:

Eh, ESH. You kinda messed up by forgetting about your plans in the first place. If you’d remembered, you could’ve told your friends ahead of time, “Hey, I’ve got Sophie that night, so if we do movies, it’s gotta be something kid-friendly.” They might’ve adjusted or picked a different day.

That said, your friends are way bigger AHs for expecting you to either (a) ditch Sophie or (b) traumatize her with a horror movie. Like, come on. Even if they were disappointed, they should’ve sucked it up and either joined you for Panda Adventures or just split up for the movies.

You all need to communicate better.

Apologize for the mix-up, but stand your ground on the fact that you weren’t gonna ignore your responsibility.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and your friends are being dramatic. So what if you saw a different movie? Big deal. It’s not like you canceled last minute—you still hung out, just not the way they wanted.

Also, I guarantee Sophie had way more fun watching pandas than she would’ve been scarred for life by Nightmare Hollow. You made the right call, and your friends need to get over themselves. If they’re this bent out of shape over one movie night, they need hobbies.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but softly.

Look, I get that babysitting comes first, but you did flake on your friends. You could’ve texted them as soon as you realized you had Sophie and said, “Hey, plans might need to change.” Instead, you showed up and sprung it on them last minute.

That said, their reaction was over the top. They could’ve just said, “Okay, we’ll catch you next time,” instead of guilt-tripping you. But you’re not blameless here. Next time, communicate better.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, your friends sound exhausting. You were doing your job, and they acted like you betrayed them over a movie choice.

Grow up, guys.

Also, Panda Adventures is probably way more fun than some edgy horror flick anyway. Your friends missed out. Sophie sounds cool, and you sound like a great babysitter. Keep doing you.

I’m Riley (24F), and I’ve been working as a long-term sub at Cedar Grove School while finishing my master’s in education. I’ve had four classes since September, and honestly? It’s been awesome. The kids are great, even the ones who occasionally throw paper airplanes at me. My contract was supposed to end in three weeks, with five more weeks left in the school year after that. Right before spring break, the principal, Mr. Lawson, straight-up told me, “Yeah, we’re keeping you till summer.” Cool, right?

Well, plot twist.

Last Monday, I got pulled into the office and hit with the “actually, never mind, your contract’s done after all.” No explanation, just a shrug and some corporate-speak about “shifting priorities.” I was bummed, obviously, but whatever. I figured the kids should know, so I told them straight: “Hey, my last day is May 12th. It’s not my call, but I’ve loved teaching you.”

Cue the chaos. Two of my classes—shoutout to my 4th-period sophomores and 6th-period juniors—lost their minds. They started ranting about how unfair it was, and next thing I know, parents are emailing the school, calling the office, even showing up to yell at the front desk.

By Wednesday, I got a nasty email from the district supervisor calling me “unprofessional” for “inciting dissent.” Then my coworker, Sophia (who’s basically admin’s favorite), said I was a jerk for “manipulating the kids into fighting my battles.”

Like… what? I didn’t ask anyone to protest. I just didn’t lie to them. So, Reddit, was I out of line here?

Another User Comments:

Dude, no. You did nothing wrong. Teachers aren’t robots — you’re allowed to have a relationship with your students, and that includes being honest with them. If the admin didn’t want backlash, maybe they should’ve, I dunno, kept their word?

The fact that they promised you’d stay and then backtracked with zero explanation is sketchy as heck. And Sophia can take a seat with that “manipulation” nonsense. Kids aren’t puppets; they spoke up because they wanted to. If the administration can’t handle a few angry parents, maybe they shouldn’t be in charge of a school. You’re clearly good at your job if the students and families went to bat for you. NTJ at all.

Another User Comments:

Okay, hot take: You’re mostly NTJ, but I get why admin is upset. Hear me out. Telling the kids you’re leaving?

Totally fine. But the way you framed it — “It’s not my decision, I’d stay if I could” — kinda painted admin as the villains. Of course the kids and parents reacted like that. You could’ve just said, “My contract’s up, but it’s been great!” and left it at that. That said, admin’s response was way over the top. Sending a bitter email? Calling you unprofessional? Grow up. They made a messy decision and got caught. Now they’re blaming you instead of owning it.

Another User Comments:

Nah, you’re good.

Schools love to preach about “building trust” and “community,” then pull crap like this and act shocked when people care. You didn’t organize a revolt — you just treated your students like actual humans who deserved to know what was happening. The fact that they and their parents chose to advocate for you speaks volumes. Admin’s just mad they got caught being flaky. Also, Sophia sounds like the worst. Who sides with the bureaucracy over a teacher their kids clearly love? Hope you land a better gig soon.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn. On one hand, yeah, you should’ve been upfront with the kids.

On the other… why shouldn’t they know the truth? If admin had a legit reason not to renew you, they should’ve said so. The vagueness makes it seem like they just didn’t feel like keeping you, which is crap. But I do think you could’ve softened the delivery. Instead of “I want to keep you,” maybe, “I’ll miss you, but this was always a temporary role.” Still, their reaction is way overblown. You’re not the jerk here — they are.

Another User Comments:

Admin’s just salty because they got called out.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Kids aren’t stupid — they knew something was up when you suddenly disappeared after being told you’d stay. You gave them closure, and they responded like anyone would when someone they care about gets screwed over. The fact that the school couldn’t handle a little accountability says more about them than you. Also, Sophia’s a snake. Who throws a colleague under the bus for checks notes being liked too much? Wild.

I’ve got this super fun allergy to peanuts, coconut, and a couple of tree nuts. And by “super fun,” I mean “will legit send me to the hospital” level. Oh, and to make it even better, my ex-husband, Andrew, couldn’t be bothered to give a darn about it. Two years of near-constant ER visits later, we finally divorced, and yeah, I’ve got some serious trauma from that whole mess.

Fast forward to now. My good friend, Bianca, was going through her own divorce, and since we’ve always gotten along great, she and her two kids moved in with me.

My place isn’t huge, but we made it work—shuffled furniture, tossed some stuff, rearranged everything. Bianca knows about my allergies. She’s heard all the horror stories from my marriage.

But here’s the thing. Over the last eight months, there’ve been multiple incidents where nuts somehow ended up in the house. At first, we just agreed—no using my pots and pans for nut stuff, no bringing nuts inside. Simple, right? Except it kept happening. And now, the last few weeks? I’ve been feeling like absolute garbage. Extreme fatigue, heart palpitations, barely sleeping. It’s wrecking my mental health.

I’ve been straight-up passing out on the couch in the middle of the day.

This weekend, I hit my breaking point. I was so exhausted I could barely function. We talked about it—again—and got the same old “I’m sorry you’re feeling unwell” non-apology. Nothing. Changed.

Then yesterday, I’m doing the dishes for the third time that day, scrubbing plates with nut residue, and I just lost it. Bianca swears she didn’t bring the nuts in—claims her ex, Connor, made the kids’ food. But she cooked it, served it, and left the dirty dishes for me to clean.

At this point, I’m so done. I know if this keeps up, I’m gonna snap, and it’s not gonna be pretty. I’ve got my own kids to worry about, and I can’t be zonked out or sick all the time.

This morning, I was late to work because I felt so awful getting out of bed. Cried the whole drive there. I can’t keep doing this. Living without nuts isn’t rocket science. But for me, it’s not just about the allergy—it’s triggering all that trauma from my marriage, and I’m stuck in this cycle of feeling like crap 24/7.

A few things to note: Bianca and I are both straight, divorced women just sharing a place.

She handles the morning school run for her kids, and I pay a sitter for mine after school. She doesn’t pay rent—we split bills. I love her and her kids, but if this keeps up, there won’t be a friendship left.

The kicker? I live in a really nice area with high rent. Bianca could afford her own place, but it’d be tight. I don’t wanna nuke the friendship by kicking her out, but I also don’t know how to fix this without drama.

Another User Comments:

Dude, this is not okay. Bianca might’ve started off respecting your allergies, but she’s slowly testing the limits, seeing how much she can get away with.

You didn’t go into anaphylaxis immediately, so she probably thinks it’s not a big deal. But here’s the thing—it is a big deal. You’re literally getting sicker every day, and she’s just… ignoring it.

This isn’t just disrespect—it’s dangerous. You’re risking your life and your kids’ well-being by letting her stay. The friendship? It’s already gone. She destroyed it by refusing to take your health seriously in your own home. You deserve to be angry. Heck, I’m angry for you.

Another User Comments:

Okay, real talk—you’re not the jerk here.

At all. You’ve been more than patient, but your health has to come first. If Bianca’s really your friend, she’ll understand that.

Maybe give her a firm deadline to move out—like 30 days—but make it crystal clear that zero nuts are allowed in the house until then. No exceptions. And she should absolutely be cleaning up after herself. The fact that you’re washing dishes with nut residue is insane.

It sucks that you’re in this position, but you can’t set yourself on fire to keep her warm. She’s an adult; she’ll figure it out.

And if she doesn’t? Then she wasn’t much of a friend to begin with.

Another User Comments:

This is wild. Bianca is knowingly exposing you to something that could kill you. Let that sink in. She’s seen how sick you’ve been, and she’s still bringing nuts into the house. That’s not just careless—it’s borderline malicious.

You need to get her out. Like, yesterday. This isn’t just about comfort; it’s about survival. If she refuses to leave, involve the cops if you have to. Your life is worth more than her convenience.

Another User Comments:

Man, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.

Allergies are no joke, and the fact that Bianca’s being so dismissive is heartbreaking. You’ve been a good friend by letting her stay, but she’s repaying that kindness by putting you in danger.

Have you considered couples’ counseling? Wait, no—roommate counseling? Maybe a neutral third party could help her see how serious this is. If she still doesn’t get it, then yeah, she’s gotta go.

Another User Comments:

Nah, screw that. You’ve talked to her multiple times. She doesn’t need counseling—she needs to listen. You shouldn’t have to beg someone to not poison you in your own home.

Kick her out.

Today. She’s had eight months to get it together. Enough is enough.

I’m Ava (19F), and my little sister, Ruby (16F), still live at home with our parents. I’ve been working part-time at a café for about a year now, and for the first time in my life, I can actually afford clothes that aren’t from the clearance rack. We’re talking decent-quality stuff—nothing crazy designer, but things that fit well and last longer than three washes.

Ruby, on the other hand, is still in high school and relies on our parents for everything. And ever since I started upgrading my wardrobe, she’s been eyeing my closet like it’s a free-for-all.

At first, it was kinda cute—she’d ask to borrow a sweater here and there—but it quickly turned into full-blown entitlement. She’d beg, whine, and even sneak stuff when I wasn’t looking.

Here’s where it went nuclear. Last week, I bought this gorgeous embroidered blouse with my tips. It wasn’t cheap, and I was saving it for a date night. I told Ruby no when she asked to wear it, because, well, it’s mine, and I didn’t want it stretched out or stained. Guess what? She waited until I was at work, took it anyway, and then let her friend Jade wear it to some party.

Jade, being Jade, managed to rip the sleeve on a fence or something.

When I found out, I lost it. Ruby’s response? “Well, if you weren’t so selfish, this wouldn’t have happened!” Excuse me? Since when is not sharing your own stuff selfish? Now she’s playing the victim, saying I’m “materialistic” and “mean” for not buying her nice things too. Like, girl, get a job if you want fancy clothes.

AITJ for refusing to let her bulldoze over my boundaries?

Another User Comments:

Okay, first of all, NTJ at all. Ruby crossed a major line here.

She didn’t just borrow your shirt without asking—she gave it to someone else, and that someone destroyed it. That’s next-level disrespect. You’re not her personal wardrobe fairy godmother, and you’re definitely not obligated to fund her fashion dreams.

Here’s what I’d do:
1. Lock down your closet. If your parents won’t let you install a lock, get a wardrobe with a key or stash your favorite pieces at a friend’s place.
2. Make her pay for the blouse. She wants to act like an adult? Cool, adults replace things they ruin. Show her the receipt and tell her she’s got a month to cough up the cash.
3.

Sit your parents down and explain the situation. If they enable her behavior, they’re part of the problem.

And yeah, the whole “you’re selfish” guilt trip is manipulative as heck. She’s 16, not 6. Time to learn that actions have consequences.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but honestly, this is such a classic sibling power struggle. You’re not wrong for wanting to keep your stuff to yourself, but I’d bet Ruby’s jealousy isn’t just about the clothes. You’re gaining independence, and she’s stuck at home with zero control over her life. Doesn’t excuse what she did, but it might explain why she’s being so intense.

That said, she chose to steal from you and then deflect blame.

That’s not okay. Instead of just shutting her down, maybe try a compromise? Like, “Hey, if you want nicer clothes, I’ll help you find a part-time job.” Frame it as mentorship, not punishment.

But also? Hide your favorite pieces. She’s proven she can’t be trusted.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but I’m gonna play devil’s advocate for a sec. Yeah, Ruby messed up big time, but are you sure there’s no favoritism at play here? If your parents can’t afford to buy her nicer things, and you’re flaunting your purchases, that’s gotta sting.

Doesn’t justify theft, but maybe she’s feeling left behind.

Still, her reaction was way out of line. Instead of sulking, she should’ve talked to you like an adult. And the fact that she’s doubling down instead of apologizing? Red flag.

My advice? Set clear rules. “You don’t touch my things without permission, period.” And if she does it again, go full petty—take something of hers and “accidentally” ruin it. (Kidding. Mostly.)

Another User Comments:

Y’all are being way too nice. Ruby’s behavior is unhinged. She stole, destroyed, and gaslit you—that’s not normal sibling squabbling.

That’s “future reality TV villain” territory.

NTJ, obviously, but I’d go nuclear. Tell your parents she either pays you back or you’re filing a police report for theft. (Okay, maybe don’t actually do that, but the threat might wake her up.)

Also, stop engaging with her guilt trips. “You’re selfish.” “Yep, and you’re a thief. Bye.”

I’m Ava (36f), currently 36 weeks pregnant with my first kid, due around May 22nd. My husband, Noah (34m), and I are super excited, but there’s some drama brewing with his family.

Noah’s brother, Liam, and his wife, Emma, are having their second wedding on May 15th—just a week before my due date. I say second because they already had a resort wedding last year, two weeks after ours. Ours was a full Catholic ceremony (sacrament, mass, the whole deal), while theirs was more of a party.

This time, they’re doing a smaller Catholic ceremony to make it “official” in the church’s eyes.

Full disclosure: I’m not religious, but Noah’s family is, so we did the traditional thing to make them happy. No regrets there.

Here’s the issue: Our wedding was at their family church, 15 minutes from our place (and his parents live right across the street, so super convenient). Liam and Emma’s ceremony? An hour north of us, minimum. With traffic? Could easily be 90 minutes.

When Noah first mentioned the date back in March, he was worried I’d be upset because it’s the day before our first anniversary.

Honestly? That part didn’t bother me at all. I like Liam and get along fine with Emma—I’d love to be there! But I immediately told Noah there’s no way I’m risking it. At 39 weeks, I could go into labor any second, and being that far from my hospital sounds like a nightmare.

I told Noah he could still go if he wanted, but he refused—he doesn’t want to miss the birth, which I totally get. He texted Liam explaining the situation, but Liam never responded. We also mentioned it to Noah’s mom, Grace, who just shrugged and said, “I worked right up until my water broke.” Cool, Grace, but that was 30 years ago, and I’d rather not deliver a baby in a church parking lot.

Now I’m feeling guilty.

Statistically, I probably won’t go into labor that day. Noah’s close with his brothers, and I don’t want to disappoint the family. But due dates are a crapshoot, and when this kid decides it’s time, it’s time.

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, no jerks here. Liam and Emma picked the date knowing full well how pregnant you’d be. They could’ve chosen literally any other weekend, but they went with the one right before your anniversary and your due date. That’s… a choice.

As for Noah not going? That’s on him. Unless you’re one of those rare unicorns who delivers in under two hours (which, as a first-time mom, is highly unlikely), he’d have plenty of time to bail if you went into labor.

But he’s made his decision, and he needs to own it with his family.

The real issue here is the lack of acknowledgment from Liam. Ignoring Noah’s text is childish. If they’re upset, they should say so instead of giving you both the silent treatment. And Grace’s “back in my day” attitude? Irrelevant. Medicine and recommendations have changed—shocking, I know.

Bottom line: You’re not wrong for prioritizing your health and safety. If they’re mad, that’s their problem.

Another User Comments:

NTJ. At 39 weeks, you’re basically a ticking time bomb. Sitting through a wedding in uncomfortable clothes, dealing with swollen feet, and stressing about going into labor?

Hard pass.

Noah’s being a good partner by staying close, but let’s be real—he could probably go if he really wanted to. First labors usually take forever. But if he’d rather play it safe, that’s his call.

Pro tip: Get your doctor to back you up. Tell your in-laws, “Sorry, doc says no traveling that close to my due date.” Boom. Medical excuse. Grace can’t argue with that.

And yeah, the “I worked until I delivered” crowd needs to chill. Every pregnancy is different, and no one gets a trophy for suffering.

Another User Comments:

No jerks here, but communication could’ve been better.

A text is kinda impersonal for something like this. A quick call or face-to-face convo would’ve gone a long way.

That said, you’re not wrong for skipping. You’ll either be massively pregnant or have a brand-new baby. Neither is ideal for a wedding. And Grace’s opinion? Doesn’t matter. She’s not the one pushing out a human.

Liam and Emma could’ve picked a less risky date, though. Like, why not wait a month or two? This feels like they just didn’t want to work around your pregnancy, which is kinda rude.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but I low-key think Noah’s using you as an excuse to skip.

Let’s be real—unless you’re secretly a medical anomaly, you’ll have hours of early labor before things get serious. He could go, duck out if needed, and still make it back in time.

But hey, if he’d rather stay home and pamper you, that’s sweet. The real problem is Liam and Emma ignoring your concerns. And Grace’s outdated advice? Useless.

Funny thought: If you did go and went into labor, you’d steal the spotlight from Emma. Maybe frame it that way—“I’d hate to upstage the bride!”—and see if she suddenly understands.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are overcomplicating this.

NTJ. You’re about to pop. End of discussion.

Liam and Emma had nine months to pick a date that didn’t conflict with your due date. They chose not to. That’s on them.

Noah’s being a good husband by prioritizing you. And Grace? Well, she can reminisce about her glory days all she wants, but she’s not the one carrying this baby.

Stand your ground. If they’re mad, let ‘em be mad. You’ve got bigger things to worry about—like, y’know, bringing a whole human into the world.

My ex-wife, Nina, hit me up last week asking if I could take the kids on her day because she and her new partner, Liam, wanted to go check out some house. I told her no, and now I’m sitting here wondering if I’m the jerk for putting my foot down. Here’s the deal:

After a rough year of battling depression and barely keeping my head above water financially, I’m on social assistance to cover my bills. When you apply for that, you gotta report how often you have your kids, and officially, it’s every other weekend—so like, 8 days a month.

That was Nina’s idea, by the way. She pushed for it because of my money and health situation. But here’s the thing—I’ve had them way more than that, and honestly, I’m cool with it. My kids are my world, and I feel like myself when they’re around. The problem is, it messes with the paperwork and my already shaky budget.

Just last week, I took them an extra day because Nina was sick. No biggie, stuff happens. She even called me all apologetic, like, “Oh, I feel so bad asking.” But then the very next day, she rings me up again, zero guilt this time, and basically tells me she’s booked a house viewing smack in the middle of the kids’ soccer practice and needs me to cover.

No “sorry,” just an impatient sigh when I had to check if I was free. Like, come on. She knows they have practice. She knows I always say yes. And now I’m just feeling like a doormat. Am I wrong for finally saying no?

Another User Comments:

Dude, I gotta be real with you—this isn’t about the kids or the schedule. It’s about your ego. You’re clearly still hung up on Nina moving on with Liam, and that’s clouding your judgment. Yeah, it sucks she’s house-hunting with someone else, but that’s life.

Your kids don’t care about your feelings toward your ex; they just want their dad to be there for them.

And let’s talk about the money thing. You’re on social assistance, which means you’re not exactly rolling in cash, but you’re still acting like an extra day with your kids is some huge burden. They’re your kids. If money’s tight, focus on what matters—spending time with them, not nickel-and-diming every extra hour. Plus, being flexible now might mean Nina cuts you some slack later when you need it. Stop keeping score and start being a dad.

Another User Comments:

Nah, you’re not the jerk here.

Nina sounds like she’s taking advantage of your willingness to help. She made this custody arrangement, and now she’s bending it whenever it’s convenient for her. It’s one thing if it’s an emergency, but a house viewing? That’s not an emergency—that’s poor planning.

And let’s not ignore the fact that she’s shrugging off the kids’ commitments too. Soccer practice matters to them, and she’s acting like it’s no big deal to just bail. You’re allowed to have boundaries, man. Just because you usually say yes doesn’t mean you’re obligated to every single time.

Stick to your guns.

Another User Comments:

Okay, but can we talk about the bigger picture? You’re on social assistance, which means you’re not working, right? So what’s the issue with having your kids more? If you’re home anyway, why not spend that time with them? I get that bureaucracy is annoying, but come on—your kids aren’t a spreadsheet. They’re human beings who need their dad.

Also, the way you keep mentioning Nina’s new relationship is telling. It sounds like you’re more upset about her moving on than the actual custody stuff.

Maybe focus on your own healing instead of resenting her for living her life.

Another User Comments:

I’m torn on this one. On one hand, yeah, parents should want to be with their kids as much as possible. But on the other hand, Nina set this schedule, and now she’s treating you like a backup babysitter. That’s not cool.

The real issue here is communication. You two need to sit down and hash out a better arrangement—one that works for both of you without leaving you feeling used. And maybe, just maybe, stop keeping tabs on each other’s personal lives.

The kids don’t need that drama.

Another User Comments:

Honestly, ESH (everyone sucks here). You for acting like your kids are an inconvenience when they’re the ones who didn’t ask for any of this, and Nina for treating you like an on-call parent.

But here’s the thing: your kids are watching how you handle this. If they see you constantly resentful or their mom always dumping them last minute, it’s gonna mess with them. Grow up, both of you. Figure it out for their sake.

I’m Tristan (M36), and my kid, Logan (M15), has had our dog, Buddy, since he was basically a toddler. Buddy was a scrappy little mutt, all energy and slobber, but over the last few months, things got bad. Real bad. He was puking up everything he ate, coughing like something was stuck in his throat, and then… blood. And the smell? Like something rotting from the inside. The vet found tumors, said it was probably cancer, and treatments would just buy him a little time—painful, miserable time.

Last week, I looked at Buddy wheezing on the floor, barely lifting his head, and I snapped. I couldn’t watch him suffer anymore. I told Logan and my wife, Rebecca, that it was time. Logan lost it—full-on sobbing, hugging Buddy like he could will him back to health. Rebecca just stood there, silent, but her face was all tight. I took Buddy to the vet, held him while they did it, and came home feeling like I’d been run over.

Then I walked into the living room, and Logan screamed at me, calling me a monster. Rebecca finally broke, crying and saying I was heartless for not “letting them say goodbye properly.” I tried explaining that Buddy was suffering, that dragging it out would’ve been cruel, but they weren’t hearing it. Rebecca even said I “always make decisions without them,” which… okay, maybe I do, but this wasn’t a darn committee vote. It was mercy.

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Look, NTJ. You did the hard but right thing. People get so hung up on their own grief that they forget the animal’s pain. Buddy wasn’t gonna get better—tumors, blood, that awful smell? That’s not a life, that’s torture. Your son’s 15, so yeah, he’s gonna react like the world’s ending, but that’s because he’s never had to make a call like this. And your wife? ... Click here to continue reading