From Selfish Moves To Epic Feuds: The Wildest 'Am I The Jerk?' Tales

I’ve always hoped my kids would wanna take over my business someday. It’s a small but solid company—decent pay, good hours, the whole deal. I figured my sons, Jason and Luke, might step up, but nah. They’ve got their own paths, which is cool. I get it. Not everyone’s into running a business, even if it’s handed to ’em on a silver platter.

Then my granddaughter, Ava (she’s 16, turned it last winter), hits me up outta nowhere.

Asks if she can work part-time, learn the ropes. Kid’s got hustle, I’ll give her that. She’s been killing it—shows up on time, actually cares about the work, and even plans to go full-time after graduation. Obviously, I’m stoked. Finally, someone in the family gives a darn about what I’ve built.

Now, here’s where it gets messy. Last weekend, the whole fam’s over—Jason, Luke, their wives, the grandkids. Somehow, we end up talking about jobs. Jason asks Ava how hers is going, and when she mentions the pay and flexible hours, dude loses it.

Starts ranting about how his son, Noah (17), works some “way harder” job for less money. Accuses me of playing favorites, demands I give Noah a spot too.

I straight-up told him: Noah could’ve taken this job ages ago. Nobody stopped him. But Jason claims they “didn’t know the conditions.” Okay, sure. Even if that’s true (doubt it), there’s no opening now. Ava’s putting in the work, and she’s getting the business. End of story. Jason calls me a jerk, says it’s unfair to “hand her everything.” Like, bro, nobody’s handing her squat—she’s earning it.

Another User Comments:
Look, you’re not wrong for running your business how you want.

It’s yours. But let’s be real—you’re setting Ava up for a nightmare. Paying her more than strangers? Letting her set her own schedule? That’s a one-way ticket to Resentmentville for your other employees. When she takes over, they’re gonna see her as the spoiled grandkid who got everything handed to her, not a legit boss. Good luck keeping morale from tanking.

And the whole “they didn’t know the conditions” thing? Sketchy. If you didn’t lay out the pay, hours, and expectations clearly, how was Noah supposed to make an informed choice? Sounds like Ava just lucked into the sweetest gig ever because she asked first.

I’m not saying you’re a jerk, but you’re definitely stirring the family drama pot.

This isn’t just about the business—it’s about how your kids and grandkids see each other forever. You cool with that?

Another User Comments:
Nah, you’re good. Jason is just salty because his kid missed out. If Noah wanted in, he should’ve stepped up like Ava did. Simple as that.

But—big but—you gotta be careful with the nepotism stuff. Paying family more for the same work? Letting her call the shots on scheduling? That’s a fast track to a toxic workplace. The other employees aren’t dumb. They’ll notice, and they’ll bail.

Or worse, they’ll stay and make Ava’s life heck when you’re not around.

Either pay everyone fairly or keep the family stuff separate. Mixing business and family is already messy—don’t pour gasoline on it.

Another User Comments:
ESH. You’re acting like some medieval king picking an heir, and your son’s throwing a tantrum because his kid didn’t get the crown.

First off, if Ava’s work is worth what you’re paying her, great. But if you’re just inflating her salary because she’s family, that’s messed up.

Pay people what they’re worth, period.

Second, Noah’s job being “harder” is such a weak argument. Different jobs pay different rates. That’s life. Jason sounds like the type who thinks manual labor is the only “real” work.

Lastly, can we stop acting like a 16-year-old’s part-time job locks in her entire future? Let the kid finish high school before you anoint her CEO.

Another User Comments:
You’re 100% in the right. Your sons had their shot and passed. Ava stepped up. That’s how it works.

Jason is just mad because he assumed the business would rot until one of his kids felt like claiming it.

Too bad. Ava’s putting in the effort, and she deserves it.

Ignore the nepotism whiners. Small businesses run on family labor all the time. Just make sure Ava’s actually learning, not just coasting on your goodwill. And yeah, cover your legal bases—wouldn’t put it past Jason to try some shady inheritance claim later.

Another User Comments:
Man, families and money—name a worse combo.

You’re not wrong for giving Ava the business, but you’re naive if you think this won’t cause decades of drama. Jason isn’t gonna let this go. Ever. Every holiday, every family gathering, it’ll be “remember when Dad gave everything to Ava?”

And the pay thing?

Yeah, that’s gonna bite you. Either pay everyone equally or prepare for a mutiny. You think Sam in accounting won’t notice the teen granddaughter makes more than him?

Good luck, dude. You’re gonna need it.

Me (17F), my brother Noah, and my twin sister Zoe stay at our dad’s place for two days every other week. We’re all kinda neat freaks—like, we need things organized or we get super stressed. Our dad, Xander? Total slob. His mom cleaned for him, our mom cleaned for him, and now we clean for him. Classic, right?

Xander’s got this habit of making passive-aggressive comments like, “Oh, you’re not going back to your mom’s until you clean up this disaster,” even though the disaster is 100% his.

He’s convinced we’re the messy ones. His big idea was that we’d keep the downstairs clean, and he’d handle the kitchen and his upstairs room. Sounds fair, except he never cleans. Like, ever. We’re talking food left out for days, dishes piled up, fridge full of science experiments.

Zoe and I used to just clean everything because it was easier than arguing. We’d walk in after two weeks away and scoop piles of ants off rotting food. We tried teamwork moves like, “Hey, I’ll change the beds if you start vacuuming?” Nope. Instant argument.

Always our fault.

Finally, we snapped. Told him the house reeked, the ants were winning, and we were done being his cleanup crew. So this time, we only cleaned our mess—our dishes, our laundry, our space. Predictably, the house turned into a biohazard. Now Xander’s dragged our grandma into it, saying we “need to help dad.” He’s calling us lazy, saying it’s “our house too.” Like, dude, we’re here four days a month.

The kicker? He’s got a rent inspection coming up. We’ve been at our mom’s for a month, and suddenly he wants a “family clean-a-thon” for his three-floor disaster zone.

Nah. Zoe and I said we’d clean our area and that’s it. So, are we the jerks here?

Another User Comments:
Absolutely NTJ. Xander’s a grown man who’s spent his life treating women like free maids. The fact that he’s now trying to guilt you into cleaning his filth is pathetic. You’re not his live-in housekeepers, and you sure as heck aren’t responsible for his inability to adult. Stick to your guns. If the place fails inspection, that’s on him—not you. Maybe hitting rock bottom will finally teach him to pick up a sponge.

And the grandma guilt trip?

Classic move. Don’t fall for it. You’re not disrespecting him by refusing to enable his laziness. If anything, you’re doing him a favor by forcing him to face reality. Also, your brother Noah better start pulling his weight too. Boys don’t get a free pass on basic life skills.

Another User Comments:
Honestly, ESH but mostly Xander. Yeah, you could’ve caved and cleaned to avoid drama, but why should you? Xander’s the parent. He should act like one. That said, letting the place turn into a landfill just to prove a point isn’t great either. Ants?

Rotting food? That’s a health hazard.

Here’s what you do: Document everything. Take pics before you clean your areas. If Xander tries to blame you for the mess, you’ve got proof. And if the landlord shows up to a nightmare, that’s Xander’s problem. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Another User Comments:
Y’all are way nicer than me. I’d have gone nuclear. Xander wants to play the victim? Cool. Tell the landlord exactly why the place is trashed. “Hey, just so you know, we haven’t lived here in a month, and this is how dad keeps things.” Watch how fast Xander learns to scrub a toilet.

But seriously, NTJ.

You’re kids. It’s not your job to parent your dad. If he can’t handle basic chores, he shouldn’t have custody. Talk to your mom about adjusting the visitation schedule. You shouldn’t dread going to his place because it’s a pigsty.

Another User Comments:
Xander’s behavior is textbook weaponized incompetence. He’s trained everyone around him to clean up after him because he’s too lazy to do it himself. And now he’s shocked that you’re not falling for it? Hilarious.

Stand your ground. If you keep cleaning for him, nothing changes.

Let him face the consequences. And if grandma keeps pushing, ask her why she’s okay with her son living like a frat boy. Maybe she’ll realize she’s part of the problem.

Another User Comments:
This isn’t about cleaning. It’s about respect. Xander doesn’t respect you, your time, or your health. A dirty house isn’t just gross—it’s unsafe. Mold, pests, bacteria? No thanks.

You’re not jerks. You’re kids setting boundaries. Keep it up. And if Xander keeps whining, remind him: You’re not his wife, his mom, or his maid.

He can figure it out.

I married into a pretty well-off family. My own family’s always been lower middle class, so it was a huge adjustment. Like, suddenly we’re going on vacations I’d only seen in movies growing up. Wild.

My two kids—Ava (6) and Ethan (4)—basically get whatever they want, but they’re not spoiled. They’re sweet, polite, and don’t throw tantrums over toys. But yeah, they’re definitely privileged, and I get that.

This year, we decided to spend Christmas with my side of the family.

Since my dad had to work on Christmas Day, we celebrated the day before. My mom gathered all the grandkids around the tree for presents and did her whole “Santa brought these because you were all so good this year!” speech. Cute, right?

Except here’s the thing—all the other kids immediately found their gifts. Ava and Ethan? Nothing. They kept searching, getting more confused, and by the time the tree was cleared, my son was fighting tears and my daughter just went quiet. Like, really quiet.

I pulled my mom aside and asked what was going on. She just shrugged and said, “Oops!

Thought you knew. We all agreed not to get your kids anything this year.”

I was stunned. “Why?”

“They already get more than enough from you and your in-laws,” she said, like it was obvious. “We figured we’d spend more on the kids who actually need it.” Then she pointed at Ethan, who was now full-on crying, and said, “See? This is exactly why they need this. Look how spoiled he is.”

She just… walked away.

I didn’t even argue. I went to the guest room, packed our stuff, and called my husband, Julian, who’d run out to grab something for my mom from Walmart.

Told him to leave the stuff and come get us. We said a quick goodbye to my dad (who looked disappointed but didn’t stop us) and left.

We ended up driving to Julian’s parents’ place instead. The kids cheered up once they got presents there, but I could tell Ethan was still hurt.

Later, my mom called, upset. “Why’d you just disappear? I was waiting for that stuff Julian was getting!”

I kept my cool and told her—politely—that what she did was messed up. That she could’ve at least warned me so my kids didn’t sit there feeling like they’d been bad.

Her response?

“You’re acting so entitled. You go on multiple vacations a year!” Then she brought up Ethan crying again, like it proved her point. I lost it a little and snapped, “He cried because you set it up like only ‘good’ kids get presents! You made him feel like he wasn’t good enough!”

And then she hit me with this gem: “Well, maybe he isn’t.”

We argued until I finally said she was lucky I didn’t take back the gifts I bought for my nieces and nephew. Her reply? “The entitlement!” before hanging up.

My sister, Harper, texted me the same crap, and my other sister, Riley, said I was “playing the victim” when their kids were the real victims here.

My mom sent a similar text. Like, seriously?

AITJ?

Another User Comments:

“Your mom didn’t just exclude your kids—she set them up to feel like failures. That Santa speech was deliberate. She wanted them to feel like they weren’t ‘good enough’ to deserve presents. That’s next-level messed up.

I get the idea of scaling back gifts for kids who have more, but there’s a huge difference between ‘we got them something smaller’ and ‘we intentionally left them out while making a big show of rewarding the other kids.’

And the way she doubled down?

Calling a four-year-old ‘not good’ because he cried? That’s just cruel. Kids don’t understand nuance. All he knew was that Santa didn’t think he was good, and that’s a horrible thing to make a child believe.

You’re not the jerk here. Your mom is, and so are your sisters for backing her up. I’d seriously consider going low-contact for a while. Your kids don’t need that kind of toxicity.”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ. Your mom’s logic is so flawed it’s almost funny. ‘Let’s teach these kids not to be spoiled by… publicly humiliating them in front of their cousins!’ Like, what?

Also, the Walmart comment kills me.

She’s mad you ‘disappeared’ but mostly because she didn’t get her last-minute errand done. Priorities, huh?

I grew up poorer than some of my cousins, and yeah, it sucked seeing them get nicer stuff. But my grandparents never excluded anyone. They just adjusted—maybe my gifts were practical, or they spent more time with me instead. There are ways to handle inequality without being a jerk to literal children.

Your mom didn’t just fail your kids—she failed at basic human decency.”

Another User Comments:

“Y’all are missing the point. The issue isn’t the gifts—it’s the lie.

The Santa speech was a setup. If they’d just said, ‘Hey, we’re doing things differently this year,’ fine. But they didn’t. They let your kids think they’d been bad.

That’s emotional manipulation, plain and simple. And your mom’s reaction proves it wasn’t an accident. She wanted them to feel bad. That’s not ‘teaching a lesson’—that’s just mean.

Also, the ‘entitlement’ argument is garbage. Since when is expecting basic fairness for your kids ‘entitled’? Your sisters are just mad because they benefited from the favoritism.”

Another User Comments:

“Okay, unpopular opinion but… soft ESH.

Hear me out.

Your mom was way out of line with how she handled it, no question. But I do think there’s a valid conversation to be had about gift inequality between families with different incomes. Maybe your family could’ve suggested a secret Santa or a spending limit instead of just cutting your kids out.

That said, the way your mom went about it was awful. The Santa speech was cruel, and her reaction afterward was even worse. But I also think this could’ve been avoided if someone had spoken up earlier. Like, did no one in your family think to say, ‘Hey, maybe we should tell her before Christmas’?”

Another User Comments:

“NTJ, but your mom and sisters sure are.

Let’s be real—this wasn’t about ‘fairness.’ This was about resentment.

Your mom saw your kids’ privilege and decided to ‘humble’ them in the worst way possible. And your sisters jumped on board because their kids got more stuff.

The fact that they’re all ganging up on you now just proves it. If they really cared about equity, they’d have suggested a family discussion, not an ambush.

Also, the ‘real victims’ line from Riley is laughable. Oh no, her kids got more presents—how tragic. /s

I’d take a long break from them. Your kids don’t need people like that in their lives.”

I’m Lena (25F), and last October, I got stuck with temporary guardianship of my little sister, Zara (15F), while our parents (Mark, 48M, and Rachel, 46F) were overseas for work. They left me with my mom’s car, her credit card, and basically zero instructions beyond “don’t burn the house down.” Cool, no pressure.

First day in, Zara mentions she’s had awful tooth pain for weeks. She’s barely eating, chewing on one side, and wincing every time she takes a bite.

I figured, alright, not ideal, but I’ll get her to a dentist. Made an appointment for later that week. But the next day? Fever, swollen face, and she’s practically in tears from the pain. Yeah, no way that could wait.

I called the dentist again, and luckily, they squeezed her in that afternoon. Turns out, she had a gnarly abscess—infected, swollen, the whole nightmare. They had to pull the tooth, drain the gunk, and put her on antibiotics. Our parents’ insurance covered most of it, but there was still a chunk left to pay. Tried calling Mom and Dad, but time zones meant radio silence.

So, I did the only thing I could think of: used Mom’s card to cover the rest, plus the meds.

Fast forward to when our parents got back. You’d think they’d be relieved Zara wasn’t, y’know, dying from an infection, but nope. Dad blew up at me, saying the card was for “basic expenses” (which, newsflash, they never clarified) and that I’d “overstepped” by making a “rash financial decision.” Mom even tossed in a gem about how I should’ve “triple-checked” if Zara was faking to skip school. Yeah, because kids totally fake facial swelling and fevers for fun.

I offered to pay them back—I could swing it—but Dad shut that down with a classic “too late now.” Thought we’d moved past it, but guess not.

Found out through Zara that they hosted a whole family holiday gathering and conveniently didn’t invite me. So, cool.

My stance? I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Zara needed help, and as her temporary guardian, I wasn’t gonna gamble with her health. Could I have handled the money stuff differently? Maybe. But waiting wasn’t an option. AITJ?

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, and honestly, your parents are being ridiculous. An abscess isn’t some minor toothache—it’s a serious infection that can spread to the bloodstream if left untreated. The fact that Zara had been in pain for weeks before you even stepped in says a lot about their priorities.

And the audacity to suggest she was faking? Absurd. Swelling and fever aren’t exactly things you can fake on command.

What’s really concerning is how they’re punishing you for their neglect. They left you in charge with zero emergency instructions, then got mad when you acted like a responsible adult. And excluding you from the holidays? Petty. Keep an eye on Zara, because if they’re this dismissive about her health, who knows what else they’re brushing off.”

Another User Comments:
“Y’know, I was ready to say ‘soft YTJ’ for not waiting to contact them, but after reading the details?

Hard NTJ. Time zones make communication messy, and dental infections don’t care about your schedule. You had two choices: let your sister suffer (and risk worse complications) or handle it. You chose right.

Your parents’ reaction is wild. They’re mad about money when their kid’s health was on the line? And the ‘triple-check’ comment is just gross. If they’re this stingy about medical care, I’d be worried about what else they’ve ignored. Also, ghosting you from the holidays is some next-level immaturity. You’re better off without that drama.”

Another User Comments:
“Okay, let’s break this down.

You:
– Noticed your sister was in pain
– Got her immediate medical attention
– Used the resources available to you (because, surprise, they didn’t leave an emergency fund)
– Offered to repay the costs

Your parents:
– Ignored Zara’s pain for weeks
– Gave you vague instructions
– Got mad when you didn’t read their minds
– Punished you for (checks notes) caring about your sister

Yeah, NTJ. They’re embarrassed because you highlighted their negligence, and now they’re taking it out on you. Classic deflection.”

Another User Comments:
“I’m gonna go against the grain here and say ESH.

You’re not wrong for getting your sister help, but you did use their money without explicit permission. I get that it was an emergency, but a quick text like ‘Hey, Zara needs urgent dental work, gonna use the card—let me know if there’s an issue’ could’ve covered your bases.

That said, your parents are way bigger AHs. The silent treatment over a legit medical bill? Excluding you from family events? Overreacting much? They need to grow up and admit they dropped the ball on Zara’s health long before you got involved.”

Another User Comments:
“NTJ, and your parents are failing Parenting 101.

Dental abscesses don’t pop up overnight—this was brewing for a while, and they ignored it. Then they left you holding the bag with no guidance and got mad when you didn’t psychically know their rules.

The kicker? They’re more upset about the money than their daughter’s health. Real classy. And the holiday snub? Childish. You stepped up when they didn’t. If anything, they owe you an apology.”

Living in a dorm with four people crammed into a shoebox-sized room is its own special kind of chaos. I don’t hate my roommates—honestly, I barely talk to them—but that’s just because I’m more of a keep-to-myself kind of person. The real problem? Alex. The guy chews like he’s auditioning for a role in a gross-out comedy. Every bite sounds like a wet slap, and it drives me up the wall. To me, it’s just basic manners not to sound like a garbage disposal when you eat.

First time I brought it up, I was polite.

Just a quick, “Hey, Alex, mind chewing a little quieter?” He nodded, said sure, and then five minutes later, it was back to the same disgusting symphony. Second time, I was firmer, but still civil. Same result. Then, on a day when my patience was already thinner than dorm toilet paper, he did it again, and I snapped. Yeah, I yelled. Yeah, I dropped a couple of harsh words. He shut up real fast, and later, I apologized because losing my cool wasn’t cool.

Now, he mostly tries, but sometimes he forgets. Today, though, when I called him out again, he hit me with, “Dude, you scream into your headset every night gaming.

It’s annoying, but I don’t freak out on you.” And… okay, fair point. I do get loud when I’m deep in a match or arguing with randos online. So now I’m wondering—am I the problem here?

Another User Comments:

Honestly, yeah, you kinda are. Look, I get it—mouth noises are the worst. But you went from zero to nuclear real fast. Shouting and cursing at someone over chewing? That’s way out of proportion. And the fact that you’re out here yelling at your games makes this a classic case of “rules for thee but not for me.” You wanna live peacefully?

Lead by example. Get some noise-canceling headphones for his chewing, and maybe lower your own volume when gaming. Compromise isn’t that hard.

Another User Comments:

Nah, I’m with you on this one. Loud chewing is objectively gross, and Alex’s lack of self-awareness is frustrating. That said, blowing up at him wasn’t the move. You’re stuck sharing a tiny space, so diplomacy is key. Maybe try eating at different times or setting some ground rules—like “no open-mouth chewing” and “no screaming at 2 AM over a headshot.” If he’s gonna call you out on your noise, he better hold himself to the same standard.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, no question.

You’re acting like you’re the only one who gets to decide what’s acceptable noise in a shared space. Chewing is a normal human function, but screaming at a video game? That’s optional, and way more disruptive. If you can’t handle basic living sounds, dorm life might not be for you. Either adjust your expectations or find a single room.

Another User Comments:

I think both of you need to grow up. Yeah, Alex should chew quieter if it bothers you, but you’re not exactly a saint here. Dorms are about tolerance. You don’t have to be best friends, but you do have to coexist without turning every minor annoyance into a showdown.

Next time, try talking it out like adults instead of waiting until you’re ready to explode.

Another User Comments:

Man, this is why I could never do dorm life. People act like they’re the main character and everyone else is just background noise. OP, you’re not wrong for being annoyed, but you’re wrong for how you handled it. And Alex’s got a point—if you’re gonna nitpick his noises, you better be ready to clean up your own act too. Either way, this whole thing could’ve been avoided with a little mutual respect.

So, I’m Aaron (37M), and my wife, Rebecca (40F), is amazing. She’s just not the type to seek the spotlight—gets flustered if too many eyes are on her.

Our kid, Chloe (12F), though? Total opposite. This girl sings like her life depends on it. Car rides, grocery store aisles, even while brushing her teeth—full concerts, zero shame. And let’s be real, she’s not exactly winning any Grammys. Half the lyrics are wrong, and the pitch?

Let’s just say the neighbors’ dogs howl along. But it’s adorable, and I’d never dream of shutting her down.

Rebecca, on the other hand, has mentioned more than once that she’s “concerned” about Chloe’s vocal adventures. She’s convinced some kid at school’s gonna roast her for it someday and has low-key asked me to gently suggest she… dial it back. I argued that Chloe’s just having fun, and anyone who’d mock her for that isn’t worth worrying about.

Fast-forward to last weekend. Big family dinner at my aunt’s place—cousins, uncles, the whole crew.

Before we left, Rebecca reminded Chloe to “behave” and “not draw too much attention.” No specific singing ban, just the usual “act normal” speech.

Of course, five minutes in, a holiday playlist starts, and Chloe immediately belts out Jingle Bell Rock like she’s headlining Madison Square Garden. It was… not great. A few relatives smirked, and Rebecca looked like she wanted to vanish into the wallpaper.

So I did what any sane dad would do: I joined in. Loud, obnoxious, intentionally terrible. Made up lyrics about reindeer eating pizza, the whole bit. The room lost it laughing, and Chloe grinned like I’d just handed her a million bucks.

Rebecca?

Not so much. She hissed that I “humiliated her in front of everyone,” which wasn’t the goal—I just wanted to make sure Chloe didn’t feel awkward. Now Rebecca’s giving me the silent treatment, and I’m wondering if I crossed a line. AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but I get where your wife’s coming from. Some people are wired to see embarrassment as a full-on crisis. Rebecca might’ve had her own childhood moment where she got laughed at for something silly, and now she’s hyper-aware of it happening to Chloe. That doesn’t mean you’re wrong for rolling with it, though.

Kids need to learn that not every little flub is the end of the world.

Chloe’s gonna face way bigger social hiccups than off-key singing, and if she’s already this confident? That’s a win. Maybe talk to Rebecca about why this bugs her so much—not to call her out, but to see if there’s a deeper worry.

Also, props for jumping in. My dad used to do stuff like that, and it taught me not to take myself too seriously. The world’s full of people who’ll nitpick every little thing; Chloe’s lucky to have you showing her it’s okay to be goofy sometimes.

Another User Comments:

Okay, soft YTJ, but hear me out.

You’re not wrong for supporting Chloe, but you kinda steamrolled Rebecca’s feelings here. She clearly has major anxiety about this stuff, and while your heart was in the right place, you basically turned a moment she was dreading into a full-blown spectacle.

Could’ve just let Chloe sing, let the relatives chuckle, and moved on. Instead, you amplified it, and now Rebecca’s probably thinking, “Great, now they’ll remember this forever.” She’s not mad because you’re a jerk; she’s mad because you ignored her discomfort to make a point.

Next time, maybe find a middle ground?

Like, cheer Chloe on at home but agree to tone it down at big gatherings. Compromise doesn’t mean Chloe has to stop singing—just that you’re respecting Rebecca’s limits too.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, Rebecca needs to chill. Kids are supposed to be cringe! That’s how they figure out who they are. If Chloe wants to sing like a dying seagull in public, let her. The relatives who laughed weren’t being mean—they were probably charmed by her confidence.

Your wife’s projecting her own fears onto Chloe, and that’s not fair. The world’s gonna try to sand down her edges soon enough; why start the process early?

You did the right thing by joining in. Chloe’ll remember that way longer than any awkward moment.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but gently. Look, I get wanting to protect Chloe’s spark, but marriages are about teamwork. Rebecca asked you to help her avoid this exact scenario, and you went full clown mode instead. It’s not about whether singing is “bad”—it’s about the fact that your wife was clearly stressed, and you dismissed it for a joke.

Could’ve pulled Chloe aside later and said, “Hey, you rocked it, but let’s save the concerts for home.” That way, everyone wins.

Right now, you’re treating this like it’s Rebecca vs. Chloe’s happiness, when really, it’s about balancing both their needs.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and I’m side-eyeing Rebecca hard. Why’s she so obsessed with what extended family thinks? Chloe’s happy, you’re happy, and the relatives were entertained. That’s a net win.

Your wife’s acting like Chloe’s auditioning for American Idol instead of, y’know, being a kid. Life’s too short to police harmless joy. Keep encouraging Chloe to be herself, and maybe suggest Rebecca talk to someone about why this triggers her so much.

Kid’s gonna have enough insecurities without her mom adding to them.

I’m a married dude in my early 50s, working in quantum computing. My wife, Carmen, is a robotics engineer, and we’ve got three daughters—Evelyn (22), Harper (18), and Isla (15).

I’ve always been big on pushing my girls to crush it in math. Not just because it’s the backbone of like, every high-paying job these days, but because it’s legit beautiful. But yeah, shocker—my kids don’t see it that way. They’re all decent at it (Evelyn’s a total math whiz), but they’d rather scroll TikTok for hours or stage elaborate Instagram photos than do anything “useful.”

Evelyn just got out of the military and is still living at home.

Her current life plan? Become an influencer, a makeup artist, or an actress. Yesterday, she spent three hours redoing her nail polish six times just to get the perfect shot. Don’t get me wrong—I respect actors and makeup artists. That stuff’s hard work. But making a living off it? That’s a whole other beast. And influencers? I still don’t get what they actually do, but maybe that’s just my old-man brain failing to compute.

Carmen and I both want the girls to go to college, preferably in STEM, so they’ve got stable careers. Evelyn’s fighting us hard on it, even though she could get into any program with her grades.

So I laid it out for her: If she doesn’t wanna study, she can’t live here rent-free while she chases her dreams. She can either move out, get a job, and support herself, or she can go to school and stay here while doing her side hustles in her free time.

She’s upset, obviously. Says I’m killing her dreams before she even gets a shot. Claims studying would be a waste of time because she hates math. I think my offer’s more than fair—plus, her younger sisters are watching her every move, and I don’t want them thinking they can just coast forever.

So, Reddit, am I being a jerk here?

Another User Comments:

Honestly? Nope, you’re not the jerk. Look, I get that your daughter wants to chase her passions, and that’s great—but adulthood comes with bills. Living at home rent-free is a sweet deal, but she’s gotta contribute something. Maybe sit down with her and ask for a legit plan. If she wants to be a makeup artist, cool—is she looking into cosmetology school? If it’s influencing, what’s her strategy? Does she know how to grow an audience, or is she just posting pretty nails and hoping for the best?

You’re not wrong for wanting her to have a backup plan.

The world’s brutal, and “follow your dreams” doesn’t pay rent. That said, you gotta be open to her choosing a non-STEM path. Not everyone’s wired for it, and that’s okay. Just make sure she’s actually working toward something instead of floating in dreamland.

Another User Comments:

Dude, your daughter was in the military. She knows discipline. So why’s she acting like she’s entitled to a free ride now? If she had a solid business plan—like, actual proof she’s making money off influencing or a job lined up in makeup—then maybe I’d say cut her some slack.

But right now? She’s just vibing on your dime.

And let’s be real—good grades don’t mean squat if you’re not using them. You’re not asking her to give up her dreams; you’re asking her to be an adult. If she wants to be an influencer, fine, but she can do that while paying rent or going to school. NTJ at all.

Another User Comments:

I’m gonna disagree with the crowd here. Soft YTJ. Yeah, she’s being naive, but she’s also 22 and just left the military—that’s a huge life shift.

Instead of ultimatums, why not help her explore realistic paths? Maybe she could take a gap year, work part-time, and build her influencer gig on the side. If it flops, then she goes to school.

Also, STEM isn’t the only way to stability. Pushing her into a field she hates could backfire hard. Support her, but set boundaries—like, “You’ve got six months to show progress, or it’s school time.”

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but you’re missing a key point: the military should’ve given her some skills. Why isn’t she using those? Even if she doesn’t want a full-on STEM degree, there are trade schools, certifications, or entry-level jobs that could give her stability while she pursues her passions.

And yeah, the rent-free thing is generous, but give her a timeline.

“You’ve got X months to save up before you’re on your own.” That way, she’s not blindsided.

Another User Comments:

Y’all are being way too harsh on this kid. She’s young, she’s figuring it out, and the job market is trash. If she’s good at makeup, maybe help her set up a freelance business instead of forcing her into a degree she’ll resent.

That said, OP, you’re not wrong for wanting her to be responsible. Just meet her halfway. Let her prove she’s serious before pulling the rug out.

I work a regular day shift (7 AM to 4 PM), and lately, it’s been stupid cold outside—like, below-freezing, frost-on-the-windshield-every-morning cold. Naturally, I remote-start my truck from inside the house to let it warm up before I head out. I mean, who wants to sit in an icebox for 20 minutes while the defrost does its thing?

Enter my neighbor, Jordan. Apparently, dude works second shift and sleeps in late. According to the grumbling I’ve overheard through my window, the sound of my truck idling wakes him up every morning.

He’s complained twice now—not exactly politely, either—and we’ve never even met. I just moved in about six months ago, so it’s not like we’re besties or anything.

Now, my truck does have an aftermarket exhaust, but it’s not some obnoxious, ear-splitting monster. It’s just a little deeper than stock. Nobody’s ever complained before, not in my old neighborhood, not at work, nowhere. So… am I being a jerk here by ignoring his complaints and doing what I gotta do to not freeze my fingers off on the way to work?

Another User Comments:

Look, man, NTJ.

What are you supposed to do, walk to work? Even if you didn’t remote-start it, you’d still have to turn the key when you got in, and guess what? It’d make the exact same noise. It’s not like you’re revving the engine at 6 AM for funsies—you’re just trying to survive winter like the rest of us.

I get that Jordan’s annoyed, but the world doesn’t stop spinning because he works a different shift. If he’s that light of a sleeper, maybe he should invest in some earplugs or a white noise machine.

Normal, everyday sounds (like a truck idling) are just part of living near other humans. Unless your exhaust is illegally loud (which it doesn’t sound like it is), this is a him problem, not a you problem.

And let’s be real—if it wasn’t your truck, it’d be someone else’s car, a garbage truck, or a dog barking. Dude needs to adjust his expectations.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, and here’s why. If your shift starts at 7, you’re probably warming up your truck by 6:30 at the latest, which is early for most people. You admit your exhaust is aftermarket, so yeah, it’s louder than stock.

That was your choice, and part of being a responsible vehicle owner is not disturbing your neighbors unnecessarily.

You’re knowingly waking this guy up every single morning with noise that you could minimize. Maybe don’t let it idle as long, or park a little farther from his place if possible. It’s not like you have to warm it up for 10 minutes—modern engines don’t need that much time. You’re prioritizing your comfort over his sleep, and that’s kinda selfish.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, full stop. Aftermarket exhaust ≠ straight-pipe madness. At idle, most trucks with mild mods aren’t much louder than stock.

And let’s be honest, when it’s this cold out, warming up your car isn’t a luxury—it’s a safety thing. Ice on the windshield isn’t just annoying; it’s dangerous.

Jordan’s schedule sucks for him, but that doesn’t mean you have to rearrange your life. As long as you’re not letting it run for half an hour or revving it like a maniac, you’re fine. If he’s that sensitive to noise, he should look into soundproofing his place or adjusting his sleep setup.

Another User Comments:

Soft YTJ.

I get why you do it, but you’re still creating a noise nuisance at an early hour. The aftermarket exhaust does make it louder, even if you don’t think it’s bad. And yeah, you could technically drive it cold—it’s just uncomfortable, not impossible.

Timing matters, too. If you’re firing it up at 6 AM, that’s way worse than 6:45. Maybe compromise? Shorten the warm-up time, or see if parking in a different spot muffles the sound for him. Right now, you’re choosing convenience over consideration, and that’s where the jerk factor creeps in.

Another User Comments:

NAH.

You’re not a jerk for wanting a warm truck, and Jordan’s not a jerk for being woken up. It’s just an unfortunate clash of schedules. That said, since you’re the one making the noise, it wouldn’t kill you to try and minimize it. Maybe talk to him? See if there’s a middle ground—like a shorter warm-up or moving your truck a bit.

But if he’s gonna be a jerk about it instead of having a civil conversation, then screw it. You’re not blasting music at dawn; you’re just trying to get to work.

Some people just love to complain.

My ex-wife, Sophia, and I split up about five years ago. We’ve got an eight-year-old son, Noah, and she remarried last year to a guy named James. I make a real effort to be present in Noah’s life, and we’ve done a ton of cool stuff together—big trips to places like Costa Rica, Japan, Iceland, and Peru, plus smaller weekend getaways hiking, hitting up museums, and exploring random towns. I’m big on taking photos, but I don’t post them anywhere, so I’ll email a few to family and Sophia.

Noah’s also super into drawing and writing little journals about our adventures. It bums me out that Sophia misses half his life, especially when he’s out there doing all these wild, fun things.

I got the idea to put together a photo album covering the last year and a half. It had pics of Noah, some shots he took himself, copies of his drawings, and notes he scribbled down about our trips. Noah helped me assemble it, and he gave it to Sophia for her birthday last week. I guess he mentioned I helped because she texted me later saying she loved it and thanked me.

James, though?

Not a fan. He blew up my phone saying it was “inappropriate” and “weird” and accused me of trying to win Sophia back. (For the record, I’m seeing someone, so no.) I just wanted her to have a way to see what Noah’s up to when he’s with me. My stepsisters, Olivia and Emma, sided with James and called it an “intimate” gift, which… no? It was literally just a scrapbook of our kid’s life. AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Dude, NTJ at all. That’s such a sweet, thoughtful thing to do, especially since Noah helped make it.

James sounds like he’s got some major insecurity issues if he’s threatened by a scrapbook full of kid drawings and vacation pics. Like, come on—it’s not like you sent her a mixtape with a heart doodled on it. It’s about Noah, period.

Honestly, Sophia’s the one who needs to deal with James’s tantrum. If he can’t handle the fact that she’ll always have a connection to you because of Noah, that’s his problem, not yours. And your stepsisters need to chill—since when is a parent documenting their kid’s life “intimate”?

They’re reaching hard.

You did a solid thing. Keep being a great dad and ignore the noise.

Another User Comments:

Okay, I’m torn. On one hand, the gift itself is really sweet—Noah’s mom gets to see all the cool stuff he’s doing, and it’s awesome he helped put it together. But I kinda get why James might feel weird about it. Not that you did anything wrong, but some people are just insecure about exes, especially when kids are involved.

That said, James went way overboard calling it creepy and accusing you of ulterior motives. If it was just Noah’s stuff, no pics of you or weird personal notes, then it’s fine.

But if there was even a hint of “look how great our co-parenting is,” I can see how that might rub someone the wrong way. Still, his reaction was over the top.

Maybe next time, let Noah take full credit for the gift? That way, there’s no room for misinterpretation.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and James needs to grow up. This wasn’t about you—it was about Noah. The fact that he’s twisting it into some weird jealousy thing says way more about him than it does about you.

Sophia loved it, and that’s what matters. If James can’t handle his wife’s kid having a relationship with his dad, that’s a him problem.

And your stepsisters are way off base calling it intimate. Since when is a kid’s scrapbook intimate? Are school projects intimate now?

Keep doing what you’re doing. Noah’s lucky to have a dad who cares this much.

Another User Comments:

Y’know, I’m gonna go against the grain here and say… maybe a tiny bit YTJ? Not for the gift itself, but for not anticipating how it might look to James. Like, you’re not wrong for wanting Sophia to see Noah’s life, but you’ve gotta know that some new partners are sensitive about exes.

That doesn’t excuse James’s overreaction, but maybe a heads-up would’ve helped?

Like, “Hey, Noah and I made this for Sophia’s birthday—just wanted you to know it’s coming so it doesn’t catch you off guard.” Might’ve saved some drama.

Still, calling it creepy is way too much. It’s a kid’s scrapbook, not a love letter.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and everyone saying otherwise is missing the point. This wasn’t your gift to Sophia—it was Noah’s, and you just helped him put it together. The fact that James is making it about you is his own insecurity talking.

Sophia’s happy, Noah’s happy, and that’s what counts.

If James can’t handle that, maybe he shouldn’t have married someone with a kid. Co-parenting means the ex is always gonna be around in some way, and if he can’t deal, that’s on him.

Also, your stepsisters need to butt out. Their opinion on what’s “intimate” is irrelevant. This was about Noah, full stop.

I’m Alex (M27), and my partner, Jordan (M31), have been together for almost five years now. Most of the time, things are great—like, really great. But whenever there’s a big event or some kind of milestone happening, Jordan gets super emotional. And I’m not just talking a few happy tears—I mean full-on, can’t-get-a-word-out, everyone-staring levels of emotion.

Now, Match Day is huge for med students. It’s when we find out where we’re doing residency, and after years of grinding, it’s basically the moment we’ve been waiting for.

I was stressed. Like, barely-sleeping, stomach-in-knots stressed. My top choice was competitive, and the last thing I needed was Jordan turning the whole thing into a dramatic scene.

So when he asked what time the school’s Match Day ceremony was, I panicked. I told him it started an hour later than it actually did. That way, I could find out my results in peace, celebrate with my classmates, and then deal with whatever emotional wave Jordan was gonna bring.

Well, Match Day happened last Friday, and I got my first choice! But Jordan showed up an hour before the event ended, realized I’d lied, and looked crushed.

He left without saying much, and now he’s ignoring my calls. I feel awful, but also… I just wanted one big moment where I wasn’t managing someone else’s feelings. AITJ?

Another User Comments:

NTJ. Dude, this was your moment. After all the sleepless nights, the exams, the rotations—you deserved to experience Match Day without worrying about Jordan turning it into a soap opera.

Look, I get that he’s emotional, but there’s a time and place. If he can’t regulate himself enough to let you have one major accomplishment without making it about his feelings, that’s a problem.

It’s not like you lied to be cruel—you did it because you knew his reaction would overshadow your achievement.

Honestly, if he can’t see that, maybe he needs to do some self-reflection. You shouldn’t have to tiptoe around your own milestones just to avoid his dramatics.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, and here’s why: lying to your partner is never a good look. If you’re so embarrassed by Jordan’s emotions that you’d rather deceive him than have an honest conversation, that says a lot about you, not him.

Being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing.

In fact, it’s rare and valuable to have a partner who’s open with their feelings. If you can’t handle that, maybe you’re not the right person for him.

And let’s be real—Match Day is a big deal, but so is trust in a relationship. You broke that trust because you didn’t want to deal with his reaction. That’s selfish. If you’re not willing to accept him as he is, why are you even together?

Another User Comments:

NTJ, but barely. Look, I get why you lied—you wanted to enjoy your moment without Jordan’s theatrics.

But lying was still a bad move.

The real issue here is that you two clearly haven’t talked about how his emotional outbursts affect you. If you had, maybe you could’ve said, “Hey, I love you, but I need Match Day to be low-key. Can we celebrate just us later?” Instead, you went straight to deception.

That said, Jordan’s reaction—giving you the silent treatment—is immature. If he can’t handle a conversation about this without shutting down, that’s a red flag. Relationships need communication, not passive-aggressive sulking.

Another User Comments:

YTJ, but not for the reason you think.

It’s not about Match Day—it’s about the fact that you’re embarrassed by your partner.

If Jordan’s emotions are too much for you in public, but fine in private, that’s a you problem. Either you accept him fully, or you don’t. And if you don’t, why string him along?

Lying was a coward’s way out. You should’ve been honest about how his behavior makes you feel, even if it led to a tough conversation. Now, you’ve damaged his trust and made him feel like a burden. Not cool.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and I’m shocked by the YTJ votes.

Match Day is your achievement, not his. You didn’t lie to hurt him—you lied to protect your experience.

Jordan’s feelings are valid, but so are yours. If he can’t tone it down for one event that’s literally about your future, that’s on him. And the silent treatment? Childish.

That said, you two need to talk. If this is a pattern—him hijacking your moments—then it’s a bigger issue. But for now, no, you’re not the jerk for wanting one day to be about you.

I’m Alex (23M), and I grew up with my grandparents. My childhood wasn’t exactly sunshine and rainbows, but hey, it could’ve been worse. After finishing my military service, I moved back in with my mom, Susan (43F), my stepdad, Mark (37M), my wife, Emily (22F), and our baby (9 months). Oh, and my two younger brothers, Owen (15M) and Ryan (5M). The house is big enough that it doesn’t feel cramped, but man, the drama makes it feel smaller.

Before we moved in back in January 2023, Emily and I agreed to tough it out with my parents until we could save enough to buy our own place instead of throwing money away on rent (we’re this close).

Susan’s been unemployed for like three years now, so I was already planning to chip in monthly. Side note: we lost my little brother, Eric (17M), in September 2022. That’s important because grief’s been hanging over everything.

At first, Susan said she wanted us to move in so she could “help us get on our feet.” She started off saying we wouldn’t have to pay anything. Cool, right? Then it was $300 a month. Okay, fine. But the second I told her I landed a tech job back home (and yeah, I stupidly mentioned my salary), suddenly rent jumped to $600. The money itself isn’t the issue—it’s the way she’s acting like she’s trying to squeeze me.

Like, congrats on the job would’ve been nice? Instead, it’s just dollar signs in her eyes.

For the first three months, I paid the $600 no problem. Then one day, Mark pulls me aside and says, “Man, $600 is way too much. Just pay the utilities directly and you’ll save like $300.” Turns out, he had no clue I was even sending Susan that much. So I figured, let’s all sit down and talk—just the four of us. But Susan and Mark are basically one argument away from divorce, so communication is a disaster. I told Susan I’d handle bills with Mark since he’s the one actually paying them.

She lost it. Started screaming about how Mark “isn’t a real man” and how she runs the house. I just walked out before it got worse.

Next morning, my phone’s blowing up with texts from Susan telling me to pack my bags—but my wife and kid can stay. Excuse me? I came home and asked her what the heck was going on. Cue the yelling. She pulled the classic “your grandparents brainwashed you” card, and when she realized she was losing, she went straight for the jugular: “I own you. Everything you do needs my approval. You’re not a real man, you can’t provide for your family, you’re a loser.”

Normally, I’d laugh that off, but coming from her?

Ouch. I snapped back, “How am I a loser if I make more than the state average at half your age? What does that make you?” Yeah, not my proudest moment, but after everything, I just couldn’t take it. So, AITJ?

Another User Comments:

Man, NTJ at all. Your mom’s behavior is straight-up toxic. First, she lies about the rent, then she tries to control you like you’re still a kid? And the whole “you can leave but your wife and kid stay” thing is wild. That’s some next-level manipulation.

The fact that Mark had no idea you were paying $600 is a huge red flag.

Where’s that money even going? If she’s not paying bills, what’s she using it for? And her reaction when you tried to handle things directly with Mark? She’s clearly panicking because she’s losing control.

Honestly, if you can afford it, get out ASAP. This isn’t just about money—it’s about your mental health and your family’s well-being. Your mom’s not in a place to be rational right now, and sticking around will only make things worse.

Another User Comments:

Yikes. YTJ, but not for the reasons you think. Look, your mom’s clearly going through it—unemployed, grieving, marriage falling apart—and you knew that.

Yet you still decided to rock the boat by cutting her out of the financial loop.

You’re a grown man with a wife and kid. Your priority should’ve been keeping them out of this mess, not diving headfirst into the drama. $600 might feel steep, but for three people, it’s not outrageous. The real issue is that you’re all living in a pressure cooker, and you just turned up the heat.

My advice? Get your own place, even if it means renting for a bit longer. Let your mom cool off, then apologize for your part in this. She was wrong to say those things, but you’re not blameless here.

Another User Comments:

NTJ, and honestly, your mom sounds emotionally abusive.

The things she said to you? That’s not just anger—that’s calculated cruelty. If she talked to you like that as a kid, I’m so sorry you had to deal with it.

Mark’s reaction says it all. He was shocked by the $600, which means your mom’s been hiding stuff. And her demand that you leave but your family stays? That’s unhinged. She’s not stable enough to be around your kid right now.

I get that saving money is important, but your wife and baby shouldn’t be in this environment. Even if it means delaying buying a house, your family’s safety and peace of mind come first.

Another User Comments:

ESH.

Your mom’s being manipulative, but you’re not handling this well either. You’re all living in chaos, and adding fuel to the fire isn’t helping.

$600 for three people isn’t crazy, but the lack of transparency is. Who owns the house? Who’s responsible for your brothers? There’s too much dysfunction here, and your wife and kid don’t deserve to be caught in the middle.

Time to grow up and move out. Even if it’s not your dream home, get a place with your name on the lease. This situation isn’t sustainable.

Another User Comments:

Your mom’s behavior is not okay, but I’m stuck on one thing: why did you tell her your salary?

You knew how she’d react. That’s like handing a match to an arsonist and being shocked when things burn.

That said, NTJ. She’s clearly using you as an emotional punching bag, and her comments were vile. But you’ve got to stop engaging in the drama. Pack up your family and leave. She won’t change, and your kid shouldn’t grow up thinking this is normal.

About two months ago, I (22F) moved in with my buddy Caleb (23M). We’ve been tight for almost two years after meeting at our old retail job. Dude’s a solid friend, always has my back, and we’ve never had any major issues—until now.

Six months back, Caleb started seeing this person, Avery (20F). He was hyped about Avery from day one, texting me nonstop after they matched on some app. He even dragged me to the café where Avery works so I could meet Avery. Avery seemed cool at first—funny, artsy, totally his type. I was stoked for him.

But here’s the thing. Since then, Avery’s been at every group hangout. Like, no joke, even when it’s just us grabbing drinks or watching a movie, Avery’s there. And look, I tried. We have some common interests, and I wanted to like Avery for Caleb’s sake. But man, Avery’s got this habit of being low-key rude. Like, Caleb will gush over Avery’s paintings, and Avery’ll just go, “You’re just saying that because you have to.” Or we’ll be out with friends, having a blast, and suddenly Avery’s “bored,” so Caleb cuts the night short because—surprise—he’s our ride.

I’m not saying Avery’s a terrible person. Avery hasn’t done anything outright nasty to me. But the way Avery acts sometimes? It grates on me. I’m happy Caleb’s happy, but watching Avery’s behavior is like nails on a chalkboard.

Now, here’s where it gets messy.

Yesterday, Caleb and I hit up the grocery store for our usual haul. Normally, we split the cost down the middle—simple, fair, no drama. But lately, Avery’s been coming over for dinner like three times a week, and Avery’s diet is… limited. We’re talking frozen pizzas, chicken nuggets, or fast food. That’s it. No judgment—maybe Avery’s got sensory issues, maybe it’s an ED, I don’t know, and it’s not my place to pry.

The problem? Caleb now wants to buy “backup meals” just for Avery in case Avery doesn’t like what we’re cooking. And he expects me to chip in for them.

I brought it up with him, saying I wasn’t cool paying for Avery’s extra meals. Our grocery split works because we both eat everything. But these backups? That’s Avery’s thing, not mine. Caleb got mad. Called me selfish for “nickel-and-diming” Avery.

Here’s the kicker: Caleb’s way better off financially than I am. I can cover my half of rent and bills, sure, but I’m not rolling in cash. These little extras add up. To me, if Avery doesn’t like what we’re making, Avery can come another night, or Caleb can buy Avery backup meals himself. If I were going out with someone with a restricted diet, I’d handle it myself—I wouldn’t expect Caleb to foot the bill.

Am I being unreasonable here? ... Click here to continue reading